Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

If you **really** want to get married, these things can boost your odds of success

Dash Riprock

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To get married or not is always a common debate on SS.

If a man were to choose to get married, here are a few things that would increase his chances for a successful long-term marriage:
  • Verbal communication skills: Can she communicate (can YOU communicate??) or does she play passive-aggressive games and stare at you rather than talking things through? I learned my lesson on this one. You can't text and email your way through martial issues and problems that WILL arise.
  • Choose a woman from the upper Midwest or Great Plains states. Generally speaking, people here carry a hard work ethic, come from smaller towns, are more family-oriented, come from more solvent family units, are generally more religious, and overall are just nicer, honest people as in "Minnesota Nice." Best states: MN, WI, IA, NE, KS, ND, SD, IN, OK. Mediocre: MI, IL, MO, OH. Worst states: NY, MA, CT, FL, TX, CA. Hidden gem/underrated state: NM.
  • HB6.5-7.5's in physical looks make the best LTRs and wives. Less drama, they try harder, fewer guys macking on them, but they're good-looking enough to hold your attention.
  • Education helps, but common sense is more important. An educated, sensible person has a greater likelihood of being able to critically think and solve problems rather than exacerbating them.
  • Check the family dynamic and history. Women coming from a fatherless household can be big trouble. Look for signs of abuse, mental illness, addictions, depression, etc., in her family. Ask how close she is to her parents and siblings.
  • The fewer dating apps they use the better. I’ve dated women who were on no apps and some that were on multiple/many. The ones that were on multiple dating sites simultaneously were always trouble, flaky, promiscuous, and worth 1-2 dates and a bang at best.
  • Watch for excessiveness; smoking, drinking, drugs, spending, any OCD behavior really. This is a HUGE flag and harbinger of things to come.
  • Career/job: Ask about her career aspirations, passions. In this day and age, you'll need two incomes to start a family. Plus, someone with career goals shows responsibility and that they likely have their s*it together.
There are more but these are the main ones, according to Dash. You'll likely never get the winning lottery ticket where someone hits all of these but the more you can check the better your odds are.

Good luck.

~Dash~
 

TheProspect

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Solid list Dash. :up:

Most of the failed or toxic marriages I’ve observed are due to a man ignoring the key red flags you’ve pointed out.

We can’t condemn any man for that as we’ve all been there before (a toxic relationship) where hindsight is 20/20, and we men also tend to need to learn the hard way.


Choose a woman from the upper Midwest or Great Plains states. Generally speaking, people here carry a hard work ethic, come from smaller towns, are more family-oriented, come from more solvent family units, are generally more religious, and overall are just nicer, honest people as in "Minnesota Nice." Best states: MN, WI, IA, NE, KS, ND, SD, IN, OK. Mediocre: MI, IL, MO, OH. Worst states: NY, MA, CT, FL, TX, CA. Hidden gem/underrated state: NM.
Got a Canadian-friendly version of this? ;)
 

Serenity

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Regarding the marry vs. not marry debate I can just say that it's better to not marry than to marry a bad woman. Meaning there definitely should be a lot of boxes checked and the woman in question definitely should be very carefully vetted. There's always a risk, nothing in life is guaranteed, but there's a lot we can do to increase the probability of success.
 

isasda66

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  • HB6.5-7.5's in physical looks make the best LTRs and wives. Less drama, they try harder, fewer guys macking on them, but they're good-looking enough to hold your attention.
Couldnt agree more. Even though there's fewer guys its still a ****load. There will be some who get swayed by the attention but somehow I've noticed that the HB5-7 range are more aware of the wall and men's interest in youth.


There are more but these are the main ones, according to Dash. You'll likely never get the winning lottery ticket where someone hits all of these but the more you can check the better your odds are.
The most important one for me is age. I wont consider anyone over 25 until I cross my late 30s/early 40s. Though not always true the younger one's are the more innocent and less jaded.
 

zinc4

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Can't argue with any of these. Ill add this. GO outside the US if you can. There are better pickings outside this femsentric country.
I did ....and contrary to the idiot that said in my PM i had too because my dating life in the US was bad. (Yea he actuzlly PMed me that) shaming is a chic tactic.
BS.

I did just fine here. My gf before wife was physically an 8-9 by any guys estimation hut she was the harboring serious red flags type. Not good for LTR as Dash just posted. Extremes.

Good post and a decent guideline for LTR.
That family on IS HUGE.

Agreed. Will never marry a western chick unless she is quite the exception. This isnt the 90s or below anymore. Western women getting worse every year it seems and feminism spreading everywhere fast.
 

Dash Riprock

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Can't argue with any of these. Ill add this. GO outside the US if you can. There are better pickings outside this femsentric country.
I did ....and contrary to the idiot that said in my PM i had too because my dating life in the US was bad. (Yea he actuzlly PMed me that) shaming is a chic tactic.
BS.

I did just fine here. My gf before wife was physically an 8-9 by any guys estimation hut she was the harboring serious red flags type. Not good for LTR as Dash just posted. Extremes.

Good post and a decent guideline for LTR.
That family on IS HUGE.
Agree on the foreign women if you're in the US.

I live in the US. My last LTR, which was a good functional relationship for many years (9 yrs, we just grew apart, no hard feelings), was with a simple woman from Croatia. She kept in great shape, smart, responsible, and was pretty, probably a solid HB7.5+. Before that my gf was from Tanzania and before that samplings from Colombia, Mexico, Belgium.

These woman are hard to find in the US though. Look Midwest and Plains in lieu of of foreign if you have to. Surprisingly, NM has hot, fun, and affectionate, submissive women. Must be the culture there.
 

Roober

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Good list!

I would add that both parties have a healthy understanding of basic male/female dynamics. A couples trajectory should be parallel, but not rigid.

Its like two guitar strings, sometimes working independently, and sometimes in unison. But they are still part of something bigger and responsibile for producing a desired results.
 

SW15

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This is a solid list. I would add that this list is good for even selecting an extended girlfriend for a committed relationship, not just marriage.

Verbal communication skills: Can she communicate (can YOU communicate??) or does she play passive-aggressive games and stare at you rather than talking things through? I learned my lesson on this one. You can't text and email your way through martial issues and problems that WILL arise.
Full agreement

Choose a woman from the upper Midwest or Great Plains states. Generally speaking, people here carry a hard work ethic, come from smaller towns, are more family-oriented, come from more solvent family units, are generally more religious, and overall are just nicer, honest people as in "Minnesota Nice." Best states: MN, WI, IA, NE, KS, ND, SD, IN, OK. Mediocre: MI, IL, MO, OH. Worst states: NY, MA, CT, FL, TX, CA. Hidden gem/underrated state: NM.
GO outside the US if you can. There are better pickings outside this femsentric country.
I did ....and contrary to the idiot that said in my PM i had too because my dating life in the US was bad.
BS.
If you want to get married and raise a family, the absolute best option is going to Eastern Europe, Latin America, or Southeast Asia and marrying a local woman there. If you go wife hunting in those areas, do not bring her back to the U.S. because she will Westernize, defeating the purpose of the exercise.

If it isn't feasible to leave the United States, I agree that women raised in the upper Midwest/Great Plains women are the best. It's ideal if you can meet them while living in one of those states. I would disagree on women from Minneapolis though. Minneapolis is a far left hotbed. Smaller towns in those states are best bets. Women from smaller towns who move to big cities are really a mixed bag. There are some really bad ones in that category.

Why is Texas bad? I think I can see your point on women from the big Texas cities, but smaller town Texas women could be good.

Why is New Mexico good? New Mexico has a high rate of teen pregnancy, so there's a good chance you're dealing with single mommery with a woman from New Mexico. However, the women with desires not to get pregnant and go on welfare who are raised in New Mexico often get out of New Mexico as soon as they graduate from either high school or college (they might take the in-state tuition route at UNM or NMSU).

In terms of geography, local dating markets are often influenced by how transplant heavy they are. The more transplant heavy the metro area is, the worse it will likely be for dating. In transplant heavy metros, few people really have a good social circle because few people are in the right social circles. Transplants tend to form weak social circles with other transplants with weak circles and few meet others in their social circles. Then, use of dating apps increases in these areas. Dallas, Las Vegas, and Phoenix are two great examples of this in the United States. All areas have experienced massive growth in recent decades and have few long term residents with strong circles. In a transplant heavy metro, there's often an overreliance on dating apps and nightlife, and shallower interactions.

HB6.5-7.5's in physical looks make the best LTRs and wives. Less drama, they try harder, fewer guys macking on them, but they're good-looking enough to hold your attention.
Everyone's definition of what a 6.5-7.5 is differs. I think "Cute" and "Hot" are better terms as they are less specific. My 7 may be your 6, but we'd both call them cute.

I think you want "Cute" instead of "Hot".

Education helps, but common sense is more important. An educated, sensible person has a greater likelihood of being able to critically think and solve problems rather than exacerbating them.

Career/job: Ask about her career aspirations, passions. In this day and age, you'll need two incomes to start a family. Plus, someone with career goals shows responsibility and that they likely have their s*it together.
I believe in avoiding most women who have a degree higher than a BA/BS degree. Also prefer BA/BS degree holders from non-elite universities. This is the happy medium on education.

Women with master's level or higher degrees tend to be more careerist and more feminist. Expect to hear a lot of SJW tripe from them. This isn't good.

Women with just a high school diploma, trade school certification/Associate Degree can be good choices. However, you really have to be careful in this category. There's a lot of single mommery here. Some are flaky. Some lack common sense.

A high flying career woman is often a bad choice. It's ideal to look for the women who makes a moderate salary with a reasonably stable job who isn't obsessed with working a lot of hours.

Check the family dynamic and history. Women coming from a fatherless household can be big trouble. Look for signs of abuse, mental illness, addictions, depression, etc., in her family. Ask how close she is to her parents and siblings.
Good points

The fewer dating apps they use the better. I’ve dated women who were on no apps and some that were on multiple/many. The ones that were on multiple dating sites simultaneously were always trouble, flaky, promiscuous, and worth 1-2 dates and a bang at best.
Yes!!!! And your absolute first interaction with these women should be in real life. Meeting a woman on a swipe apps ensures you'll get treated the absolute worst possible and you're often dealing with the lowest common denominator. The women who can meet their boyfriends without resorting to apps are the women typically worth dating. The best chance of meeting a woman that you can get some sort of extended relationship with occurs either through social circle or a cold approach in a non-bar venue.

Watch for excessiveness; smoking, drinking, drugs, spending, any OCD behavior really. This is a HUGE flag and harbinger of things to come.
Yes
 

TonyTenner

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Not to derail the thread slightly but what exactly is the advantage of getting married for a guy? Is it only to appease the girl? Im in a similar situation to RickTheToad, my gf wants marriage, I don't. I've stood my ground. I come from a country with 17% divorce rate, so way off the US, but we're generally 10 years behind the US, culturally. So it will be 50% in 10 years time.

I see it as the ultimate litmus test. If she doesn't want to be with me if I don't agree to marry, then there's my answer. I've a lot to lose, btw, have land which has been passed down during the generations. The land means a LOT to me, and is worth approx £1m. My gf is great, no red flags. But since discovering these forums, and reading up on divorce (where Im from, the men also get ****ed), marriage would be an insane choice. I'll face this issue with any subsequent girl.

EDIT: Im looking for practical answers like "you pay less tax", "if you're about to die and need a next of kin to OKAY an operation, the wife qualifies"....I've never heard a convincing one though...
 

manfrombelow

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The very first thing is look at the dynamics between her father and mother.

In which, her mother HAS TO GENUINELY RESPECT her father, and GENUINELY RECOGNIZE him as the leader of their home.

In all cases that the girl has beta weak feminine father who is mentally oppressed, and disrespected, by her mother, she's no wifey material because she has been conditioned to believe that it is NORMAL for a man to be submissive to his woman (like her father was to her mother), and she'll try her best to make sure the relationship she has with you become the same thing.
 
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