If You Lie To Your GF, Are You An AFC?

[RockaRolla25]

My friend lies to his girlfriend about a lot of things but the main one is that he "quit" cigarettes. Whenever we hang out, we will be smoking cigarettes, drinking, chillen etc etc etc but when his gf comes over, he hides the cigarettes and doesn't have any until she leaves.

I call him a pus.sy for this and tell him to man up instead of lying. He says he likes her too much to get rid of her. He also cheats on the side if he can. He says "my gf is the best girl I met so far. I love her but I still want sex from other girls." I tell him he's the man and the man sets the rules, not the girl.

Is he a pus.sy for lying about the cigarettes and should he just man up and tell her he still smokes and she can take it or leave it? Or is he not a pus.sy because he cheats on the side?

 

[RockaRolla25]

It's hilarious when I'm smoking and she says to me "You know, you should quit" and then I look at my friend and go "YEAH I SHOULD, SHOULDN'T I?!?!?!" :crackup:

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Is he a pus.sy for lying about the cigarettes and should he just man up and tell her he still smokes and she can take it or leave it? Or is he not a pus.sy because he cheats on the side?

Wait what?

I don't see how either thing is related to being a puss or not. Your head is all screwed up, pal. Better start in the high school section....get your feet wet.

 

[RockaRolla25]

I think that cheaters are pus.sy's/ male attention wh0res/undisciplined AFC's.

I don't know about that. I thought AFC's were stuck on one girl and would NEVER cheat? He also says it's easier to get some when you have a gf.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

I don't know about that. I thought AFC's were stuck on one girl and would NEVER cheat? He also says it's easier to get some when you have a gf.

Yeah. You don't know what you're talking about.

Having one girl who gives you a healthy relationship doesn't make you an AFC. You're an AFC when you're falling all over one girl who treats you like crap, or worse yet, a girl you're not even dating.

It's really not that hard to understand. It's sad to even have to explain.

 

[RockaRolla25]

Yeah. You don't know what you're talking about.

Having one girl who gives you a healthy relationship doesn't make you an AFC. You're an AFC when you're falling all over one girl who treats you like crap, or worse yet, a girl you're not even dating.

It's really not that hard to understand. It's sad to even have to explain.

But, Tom Leykis did say that whenever a girl says to you, "Either you stop doing x or we're done," you should always put your foot down and leave. NEVER give in to the ultimatum. He says that she knew what your flaws were when she started dating you. If she has a problem with it now, she's the one that changed, not you.

I bet Mr. Leykis would not approve of my friend lying.

 

[rocket87]

I see where you're coming from, and I think I get the question your asking.

I don't think he's AFC. But that is an interesting aspect to consider - why not "be the man" and do what he feels just in doing without having to cover for it. In that sense, I wouldn't say the smoking issue is AFC but more of a relationship conflict.

At the same time, your friend isn't some sort of prime example of DJ principles and I would have to say he is low on the 'spectrum'; he's scared of his girlfriend, disregards his health, emotionally confused, and is defiant towards his partner's trust. All those things are no one's business except his, so he can do whatever he wants. Not saying it's right nor wrong.

So, no, he's not really a pvssy, nor an AFC. He's just emotionally scrambled, hypocritical, and disrespectful towards himself and his partner(s).

 

[RockaRolla25]

I see where you're coming from, and I think I get the question your asking.

I don't think he's AFC. But that is an interesting aspect to consider - why not "be the man" and do what he feels just in doing without having to cover for it. In that sense, I wouldn't say the smoking issue is AFC but more of a relationship conflict.

At the same time, your friend isn't some sort of prime example of DJ principles and I would have to say he is low on the 'spectrum'; he's scared of his girlfriend, disregards his health, emotionally confused, and is defiant towards his girlfriend's trust. However, that's no one's business except his.

So, no, he's not really a pvssy, nor an AFC. He's kind of just a hypocritical, confused chode.

I mean, I can see a girl doing that if her bf said "stop smoking cigarettes" because girls are supposed to be scared of the male. But I just find it very odd that he's scared of the female.

Whenever I bring it up to him he says "When you get a gf, you let me know and then we'll talk." I say to him "Me not having a gf means nothing. We are talking about YOUR situation, not me."

 

[Energy25]

Yes, if you lie to your girlfriend you are AFC. Man the f!uck up and tell it like it is.

 

[rocket87]

Whenever I bring it up to him he says "When you get a gf, you let me know and then we'll talk."

Definitely. It's much "easier" to continue smoking and just lie about it. Eventually he'll slip, get caught, and there will be a fight/argument. Then she will realize he's defied her trust for him and be skeptical.

Then there will be another slip where her skepticism leads to finding an e-mail, text, phone call, whatever, where he is fvcking some other b!tch on the side. Then she will dump him, and a suave DJ like myself will swoop in and take her away. It's a viscous cycle.

Just like it's much easier for him to keep smoking than to quit. He constantly takes the path of least resistance in his life. But, again, if he wants to live that way, that's all up to him. You being his friend can't really justify having a say in the matter (you are, however, entitled to your opinion). That's some deep sh!t that he has going for him. He's not going to change. It's just how he is.

My friend lies to his girlfriend about a lot of things

What else does he lie about? At this point I'm just somewhat curious

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

I mean, I can see a girl doing that if her bf said "stop smoking cigarettes" because girls are supposed to be scared of the male. But I just find it very odd that he's scared of the female.

Whenever I bring it up to him he says "When you get a gf, you let me know and then we'll talk." I say to him "Me not having a gf means nothing. We are talking about YOUR situation, not me."

It's odd in the context of PUA teachings and all the bullsh*t terms like AFC, DJ, alpha, blah blah blah....

But in reality, he just sounds like a normal guy who doesn't want to come home and hear sh*t from his girlfriend about smoking. He's not trying to be a PUA, and he's not worried about what's "AFC". And actually he might be a cooler person because of it.

 

[Energy25]

Wait what?

I don't see how either thing is related to being a puss or not. Your head is all screwed up, pal. Better start in the high school section....get your feet wet.

How does pretending you don't smoke to satisfy your girl not make you a *****????? Seriously? That is a ***** move no doubt. Just man up and tell her you do what you want. She's not in control, and you should let her know that. God damn dude. Also cheating is also a ***** move because if you have the desire to cheat, then you as a man should end it first. Wow some guys...

 

[The_411]

Not that simple. However in this case he's being a lil biyatch. If he wants he smokes and he tells her I want to smoke end of story. If she leaves ... then who cares.

He's being conflict avoident which is weak in certain cases. In this case he's not standing up for himself and lying to avoid asserting his position which is doing something out of a position of fear which is a position of weakness.

As for cheating each person has their own position.

I think cheating is a false alpha behavior.