If you have 250+ approaches under your belt

[resilient]

the point is to keep approaching until you lost count.

Agreed. :yes:.

I'm doing 300 this year, but sort of slow since I only approach on the weekends when I'm free from work.

 

[speakeasy]

I'm kind of a newbie here, what exactly is the "matrix?"

 

[poohead]

is it only officially an 'approach' if you go for the # close?

 

[JezDuffield]

I have met many guys who say they are attracted to a hot babe yet they never approach her as they are frightened that she will think they are stupid and reject them, but I think it is better to be rejected by 250 hot babes in the process of eventually winning one over than to spend the rest of your years just dreaming about being with the hot babes but never ever having one.

 

[Krassus]

i've read something by style that says 250 is something like that 'magic number', that when you hit this number, all of a sudden you have conquered your fear and have achieved some level of mastery. those of you who have this many approaches under your belt - can you verify that this is indeed true? did something just 'click' at the 250 approach mark, and you all of a sudden 'could see the matrix'? how have you changed as a person since approach 1 and approach 250?

The number is different for everyone. Eventually, the fear does disappear. I hate to use the beat-up metaphor, but even getting your shoelaces tied was once a challenge. Hah, i remember asking my mom to do it for me cuz i kept screwing up! Needless to say, after doing it countless times, it eventually becomes second nature, and memories of the time when it wasn't fade away. Approaching is exactly like that. I used to be terrified of approaching, but three years after my first approach, i am fearless.

 

[Krassus]

is it only officially an 'approach' if you go for the # close?

Yes. Otherwise, it's called "wasting your/her fvcking time." If you've never approached a girl in your life, it's alright to do this for a couple of days. Problem is, too many guys allow themselves to get stuck and drag it on for weeks or even months. This is pathetic. Ask the chick for her digits! Always remember your ABCs: ALWAYS Be Closing!

 

[Krassus]

I'm kind of a newbie here, what exactly is the "matrix?"

That's people trying to make things more complicated than they really are, because it's easier to sit there and analyze your fears (and blame them on "the matrix," your parents, that bully in kindergarten, etc) to death than go out there, face them and get on with your life.

 

[Blackdragon5095]

i've read something by style that says 250 is something like that 'magic number', that when you hit this number, all of a sudden you have conquered your fear and have achieved some level of mastery. those of you who have this many approaches under your belt - can you verify that this is indeed true? did something just 'click' at the 250 approach mark, and you all of a sudden 'could see the matrix'? how have you changed as a person since approach 1 and approach 250?

Style has a point. After doing 250 you would be more used to it. You would find yourself randoming talking to people. But dosen't mean you should think at 250 apporaches girls are gonna go " wow you did 250 apporaches, now i'm going to like you ". If you do 250 apporaches do 100 more. Why not 200 more or even 300 more.

The point I'm making is not to stop apporaching women, you shouldn't execpt numbers and think. ( oh if I do 250 apporaches the fear of apporaching with go away ). No no no.

The best thing to do to help get rid of the fear of apporaching is to understand women, fear and how the mind works.

Carmine Falcone ~ You always fear what you don't understand.

To overcome fear, one must constantly be exposed to it and persevere.

 

[chickenlegs03]

The point I'm making is not to stop apporaching women, you shouldn't execpt numbers and think. ( oh if I do 250 apporaches the fear of apporaching with go away ). No no no.

The best thing to do to help get rid of the fear of apporaching is to understand women, fear and how the mind works.

I agree.

To be honest, I've probably done 250 approaches myself, if you count parties and clubs. But once I moved to a new town and stopped approaching, the fear struck me again. Then, a couple approaches into my new goal, the fear is gone again. So, from my experience, I will say that you have to keep approaching. Social skills and approach skills are like a muscle, if you don't use it, it will waste away and get weak. It doesn't matter if you do 10,000 approaches...if you stop and don't approach for several months, you will get rusty.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

who the hell counts their approaches ? i sure as hell don't, and haven't a clue how many i've done.

This is what I was wondering. I don't get this or guys that count how many times they are rejected. Hell, I don't even understand why guys keep track of how many women they've slept with. Once you get past zero does it even matter?

 

[MVPlaya]

i've read something by style that says 250 is something like that 'magic number', that when you hit this number, all of a sudden you have conquered your fear and have achieved some level of mastery. those of you who have this many approaches under your belt - can you verify that this is indeed true? did something just 'click' at the 250 approach mark, and you all of a sudden 'could see the matrix'? how have you changed as a person since approach 1 and approach 250?

I have far more than that and I will tell you there is absolutely nothing special about that milestone, but there is something special about pushing yourself far enough to make that many approaches. If you've approached over 250x, you've internalized and naturalized your style, and you can look at a set without confusion and anxiety about what might happen. You still have the same fear of approach everyone has, but its under control, and you know pretty damn well no one is going to pelt ice cubes at you, laugh at you, spill a drink on you, or embarass you. You are comfortable with approaching

 

[poohead]

I have far more than that and I will tell you there is absolutely nothing special about that milestone, but there is something special about pushing yourself far enough to make that many approaches. If you've approached over 250x, you've internalized and naturalized your style, and you can look at a set without confusion and anxiety about what might happen. You still have the same fear of approach everyone has, but its under control, and you know pretty damn well no one is going to pelt ice cubes at you, laugh at you, spill a drink on you, or embarass you. You are comfortable with approaching

what about your skill level and your success rate - have they also improved as # of approaches gone up?