if you get lame flakey excuses, is the best reply silence?

[Wilko]

By way of example, here's a text exchange I had with a putative plate (23), I'm 34. Eventually it led to a date a few weeks later. She continues to make BS excuses about her ADD and how I can't hold her to a single text that I send if I'm not willing to send a second text or pursue any further. Whatever, she just won't get the gift of my presence, and she'll watch me go out with other women, which is what eventually got me the date in the first place. Zero fvcks given, I'm just showing you how I let this play out.

I had asked her when she's free to get together. She told me Thursday or Friday would be best. I set a date and time and location for Thursday. No response. Thursday comes, I text on my way:

Me: On my way but may be a couple minutes late
Her: wait
Her: what
Her: wait wait wait
Her: I completely forgot
Her: oh my god
Her: and my phone just died
Her: ughhh
Her: I am so so so so so so so so so so incredibly sorry. this week has been really awful
Me: Pffft
Her: : (
Her: you didn't remind me
Me: lol
Her: what are you doing next week when are you free
Her: I owe you drinks
Her: Monday night?

The following three texts are like hamster steroids when they come after any bull$hit a girl tries to run:

"Pffft," "lol," and "..."

Hamsters run best in silence a lot of the time, but these are subtle texts that don't necessarily call her out yet do put her on notice that you're both maintaining your frame and just may not be buying everything she's trying to sell. Either way, she'll be trying to figure out where you're at.

Notice that first I "Pffft" which is the equivalent of scoffing at her. Then she tries to blame shift and I just flat out laugh at her attempt, as if she's digging a bigger hole for herself. I think elipses ("...") are best when your in-person response would just be to blankly stare at her and wonder how she's made it this far in life.

Gotta say Stugots, that's some really good stuff.

I said... WHOSE...FRAME...IS...THIS?!

 

[Masculinity]

She can't go out because she had a nightmare? That is one of the lamest excuses I've heard of in my time as a DJ. I wouldn't reply at all until she puts her ego down and comes to you. This is what happens when you make plans over text messages: your plans are not taken seriously and seen as low in importance.

I would next and move on. Seeking other women may, ironically, be in your best benefit. If she texts saying "what up" say, "just came back from hanging out with this girl...you've some competition." When used correctly and only ONCE, this can have a lot of power over her if she's interested. If she NOT interested, she will dismiss your text and that would be good for you because you dodged a woman who is low interest.

 

[pyros]

I suggest you follow the two strikes rule only and only if her first 'flake' was done in a respectul way and it was legitimate. (She had a nightmare? that is not legitimate neither respectful cause she thinks you're dumb) Any other case you forget about her.

Why women seem really interested and the next day they're not anymore? dont overthink it: they have dozens of suitors and they change their emotions quickly.
Anyway, the faster she changes her emotions, and the larger her number of suitors, the bigger the chance she's an attention wh-ore and mentally unstable. Keep that in mind.

Just reply 'ok' and do not contact her again. Or even better, send her to h-ell cause there is a high change she is just messing with youuuuu...

 

[Stugots26]

Masculinity,

You and I will have to agree to disagree on whether texting makes them think less of your plans. I have not found this to be the case. It depends less on the contact medium and far more on their perception of you. The higher the interest level and the more they like you the more they'll take plans seriously regardless of the contact medium.

I prefer text because (1) it's written, so short of her losing her phone she has everything you've said in writing (can you tell I'm an attorney?), and let's just try to see her wiggle out of plans or say they weren't firm, and (2) I don't put as much effort into girls I'm just making initial plans with, as the whole point of being a Don Juan is the most return on the least investment, and a call just strikes me as too much too soon, especially in this day and age.

 

[Masculinity]

Masculinity,

You and I will have to agree to disagree on whether texting makes them think less of your plans. I have not found this to be the case. It depends less on the contact medium and far more on their perception of you.

That's perfectly fine. Some things works better for some people than others. It will also depend on your acuity and how much interest is sparked. If it works for you, by all means keep it going :rockon:

One of these days, though, keep this conversation and mind and give her a call just for the heck of it and see what happens. You may be surprised or reinforce your choice to use text.

 

[startstrongtoday22]

Old post.
No contact and not responding is the best option. Even an “ok” is stupid. Not responding has so much power that it makes the other person look like a Schmuck. It’s a hard thing to practice but once you master it, it becomes natural and effortless. I get women giving me excuses all the time with their bs behaviour. It leads to double texting by the person most of the time. By not responding, it makes the other person feel like they have to follow up.

Even if I am seeing someone and they send me a I can’t make it today text or I am sorry I miss you, I don’t even respond. If she is cancelling then she can call me when she wants to see me again.

Even if a woman messaged me that she misses me so much, but with her actions she hasn’t called me, asked to see me, then I just ignore it. Telling someone you miss them doesn’t mean anything. If you actually miss someone you call them or tell them I want to see you at this time and so forth.

Its the compulsion that men feel like they need to respond that ruins the game. Once you remove that compulsion you win. The only to kill that compulsion is to practice willpower.

I always never respond to bs text. Why do you need to respond? It’s the responding that ruins everything.
Managing women can be so much easier if we just respond to them when they say stupid stuff or flake.

 

[SW15]

It is the only reasonable option. Every man deserves better than a flakey woman who does not have her actions matching her words.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Life's too short to waste it on worrying about fickle women