If You Don't Find Yourself Desirable...No One Else Will.

[BigSmooth]

Some food for thought for the people that have low self esteem and confidence and wonder why they are unsuccessful with women, or are going through a period of disappointment and struggle where you question how to become the person you want to be...and who that person is.


~BSmooth

 

[Bokanovsky]

That sounds awfully similar to the peptalk ugly women give to each other..."you're beautiful no matter what". Let's face it, just like many women aren't beautiful, many guys are not desirable. Engaging in self-delusion is not helpful. But recognizing your weaknesses and working to improve yourself is.

 

[perseverance]

I find myself too desirable, that's half my problem. Any chance to grope my own ass and I'm on it like Sonic. A cheeky grab here and a cheeky grab there. I can't even walk past a shop window with gazing lovingly at my own reflection. I mean if I had a Vagina aswell as a Penis, I'd bang myself senseless.

 

[BigSmooth]

100% true. Although all the successful narcissist personality disorder players out there prove that you can "fake it till you make it"

Yes you can fake it till you make it, but I would rather have people develop and grow through genuine and sustainable self-confidence rather than just putting on a mask or a guise every time they go out to the club.

That sounds awfully similar to the peptalk ugly women give to each other..."you're beautiful no matter what". Let's face it, just like many women aren't beautiful, many guys are not desirable. Engaging in self-delusion is not helpful. But recognizing your weaknesses and working to improve yourself is.

You're missing the point here.

There are a couple scenarios here.

1. You are actually desirable to women but through unsuccessful events or just bad luck, your behavior has changed through those unsuccessful outcomes. Your mindset changes and you eventually believe you are undesirable which changes the way you act and talk.

By realizing that you ARE desirable to women, everything about your behavior changes.

2. You are not the most desirable man to women. In this case, just telling yourself you aren't desirable won't change anything. You just don't have many redeeming traits or standout points about yourself. This is where the self-improvement comes in. You have to REALIZE you aren't that desirable...and strive to change it.

It's all about having an attractive energy..and aura of desire. It's not just about how good you look (although that in itself is a big factor...but that can be improved on also).

The bottom line is...if you find yourself desirable women will too.

 

[Stagger Lee]

You have a correlation and causation matter here and chicken and egg question. Oftentimes it's more, "If no one else finds you desirable you won't either" than the converse. Thinking you are undesirable and experiencing being undesired correlate but that does not mean the thinking is the causation of being undesirable. And which came first? Thinking you were undesirable and then being rejected or being rejected and then thinking you are undesirable?

Now that's not to say believing in yourself doesn't help at all and that an otherwise desirable person wouldn't hurt their chances by not believing in themself. Delusion can work both way. But if you delusionally think you are desirable, people will not hesistate to try to let you know that you're not. Heck, they do it to some degree even if you are desirable out jealousy. True, no one will help a man when he's down. Well maybe if he is very good looking.

I see where you're going here, you are denying attraction is mostly based on looks. But if your premise is wrong then efforts to improve yourself will be mostly futile because you're not addressing the real cause.

 

[BigSmooth]

That sounds awfully similar to the peptalk ugly women give to each other..."you're beautiful no matter what". Let's face it, just like many women aren't beautiful, many guys are not desirable. Engaging in self-delusion is not helpful. But recognizing your weaknesses and working to improve yourself is.

So basically you are implying that you are a chronic masturbater.

 

[bigneil]

True, but don't find yourself so desirable that you get oneitis.

 

[Bokanovsky]

So basically you are implying that you are a chronic masturbater.

No, I'm basically implying that you are a chronic masturbator