"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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If you broke up because your were cheated on, would you talk to your ex again ever?

The_Reaper

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Or is it a case of zero contact ever.

I broke up about a month ago with my ex. She cheated, but I also made the stupid mistake of trying for a long-distance relationship. Anyway, I had planned to break up with her - and then when I found out she cheated, she made it easy. (She had a lot of regret, at first she cried solidly for about 8 hours, literally solidly)

I feel neutral about my ex girlfriend, and it would amuse me and give me pleasure to talk to her again; she is a great contact/associate to have, because she lives in a country I would love to visit and this offers me the potential of having somewhere to stay, if some friends and I were to go there.

I am happier, far, far happier, not being in a relationship with her - I have not been attracted to her for a long time, and would rather just have her to talk to, like a friend, someone whom I happened to fck a lot. LOL.

Now, I am thinking that I will give it a few months, and then maybe put the option of talking to her again on the table.

A lot of people talk to their exes and there's no hard feelings.

Comments?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Azmodan

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I didn't read all that that.

I have and would again. I'd also probably hang out with her again if I thought I could get my **** wet. I wouldn't ever date the girl again or spend any significant time/money on her, but if I'm bored and she sends me a text message, why the hell not respond?

I guess I might feel different if, I don't know, she was getting banged by my best friend for half of the relationship, but it was pretty far from being that horrible.
 

KontrollerX

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Only if she seemed guilty about it and I could play on her emotions to get lots of sex from her as really a chick that would do this to me instantly becomes a wh0re in my mind and is absolutely worthless as anything other than a potential fvck buddy.

Probably the more noble approach to things is no contact but for me if there's blood in the water I will be the predator.
 

The_Reaper

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cyp6 said:
anti dump would say thats was a dump, not breaking up. but seriously no you shouldnt get backtogeather.
I would never, ever, get back with her. The relationship wasn't going to work, I cheated on her as well, but being a chauvinistic pig, I saw this as fine. I didn't invest any emotions in the other women, it was like masturbation-with the help of a vagina.

What I mean is just talk to her every now and then, have her as part of my "social circle", my contacts in the world, which I think is very important to have. I don't want to burn any bridges.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

KneghtRyder

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put it this way. shes not going to call me now. she knows shes guilty
 

DJDamage

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The_Reaper said:
What I mean is just talk to her every now and then, have her as part of my "social circle", my contacts in the world, which I think is very important to have. I don't want to burn any bridges.
This bridge was already burned when she cheated on you. This woman thought about herself and only herself when she let another man's c0ck enter inside of her and not of how this would affect you. This is the person that you want to be friends with??? it is amazing to me how some people divide themseleves into two halves when it comes to rationalizing a friendship with woman after she dumps them. "OH OH wait she disrespected RELATIONSHIP REAPER but now since we ain't in a relationship, its all water under the bridge because she will treat FRIEND REAPER with respect". Get real! she disrespected you! and by accepting her friendship you just gave her the green light to do it again!

What would having her in your social circle do?? does she need to go around and gossping sh1t about you with your friends? will you feel anything if she hooks up with your friends?? do you actually think she will help you to hook up with her hot friends after all this?? it sounds to me like the both of you will try use one another to get something out of this. Whatever you do, don't call it friendship.
 

gherald

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i would still talk to her if im bored or something...

yah i actually i am...she always pm me but most of the time i would ignore her...
 

The_Reaper

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DJDamage said:
This bridge was already burned when she cheated on you. This woman thought about herself and only herself when she let another man's c0ck enter inside of her and not of how this would affect you. This is the person that you want to be friends with??? it is amazing to me how some people divide themseleves into two halves when it comes to rationalizing a friendship with woman after she dumps them. "OH OH wait she disrespected RELATIONSHIP REAPER but now since we ain't in a relationship, its all water under the bridge because she will treat FRIEND REAPER with respect". Get real! she disrespected you! and by accepting her friendship you just gave her the green light to do it again!

What would having her in your social circle do?? does she need to go around and gossping sh1t about you with your friends? will you feel anything if she hooks up with your friends?? do you actually think she will help you to hook up with her hot friends after all this?? it sounds to me like the both of you will try use one another to get something out of this. Whatever you do, don't call it friendship.
Good points. But I can use her, in return. If I'm bored, it would amuse me to talk to her. She lives 1000 miles away, so it would only be a short convo maybe once a week on msn.
 

penkitten

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i only have one ex that ever did me dirty that i still talk to and the reason i still talk to him is because there is a court order saying that i have to share our children with him and there are children who would be broken hearted if they didnt get to know their father.
if i did not have to communicate with him, i wouldnt.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

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