"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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If you are successful with women, life and happy, read this.

moneyisking

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Hi, lately I am seriously thinking about life of man, women, success, attitude and etc. Everything seems so repetitive and meaningless, and of course, I have no success with women. I mean, I still have no clue whats going on.

So I want to ask you this to those who are not only getting laid, but also are happy, feel great in life.

Do you think about things like "I got to be ____" "I got to be CF" and bunch of things when you talk to girls, or are you like empty sleet, not think of anything and just "be you" ? I am planning to just keep stuffing myself with info, but now I am going to try to just empty myself from all thoughts when I talk to girls and see if that brings any success. Give me some inputs please. Thanks.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Buddha_Mind

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I understand where you are coming from, and as much as this DJ info is useful, there are probably some girls who break the mold entirely, and some tactics may or may not work at all.

People are unpredictable. There is probably truth that most of the tactics have some relevance, since they are founded in repeated experience (and repeated mistakes). But a certain women might be repelled by them.

It's a tough call. Sometimes being "empty" is the best way to learn. Our preconceived notions pollute our interaction, by setting expectations and bounds on what we believe something to really be.

Maybe just be loving, generate an attractive and confident aura, inviting -- and smile to girls :) Stand up for your own beliefs -- and don't let females manipulate you primarily because they know you are attracted.
 

Buddha_Mind

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And just because you are getting laid doesn't mean you'll be happy. Lots of people have sex all of the time who are very unhappy, and often create children in the world, throwing them between some destructive situation.

Women and getting laid does not equal happiness.

Perhaps happiness is more having confidence in yourself, and self-love. Strength in believing in your success, and realizing that not a single person or anything can be a bigger advocate for yourself than you.

peace man.
 

combustiont

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Everything he just said. Dismiss your preconceived notions of what "success" is and worry about being a man and making yourself happy. When you do that, thats when you'll look most attractive to the opposite sex.
 

Bible_Belt

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moneyisking said:
Hi, lately I am seriously thinking about life of man, women, success, attitude and etc. Everything seems so repetitive and meaningless, and of course, I have no success with women. I mean, I still have no clue whats going on.

So I want to ask you this to those who are not only getting laid, but also are happy, feel great in life.

Do you think about things like "I got to be ____" "I got to be CF" and bunch of things when you talk to girls, or are you like empty sleet, not think of anything and just "be you" ? I am planning to just keep stuffing myself with info, but now I am going to try to just empty myself from all thoughts when I talk to girls and see if that brings any success. Give me some inputs please. Thanks.

It's supposed to be fun. When you get laid enough already, you don't worry about the end result with any one girl. That is hard to do when you are not getting laid enough, but it is still the best way. If both the girl and I are not having fun, I don't want sex with her, regardless of what she looks like. The sex is the end result of an enjoyable time together.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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DonGorgon

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Studying the fact that all lies contain fragments
happiness comes and goes.. and our thresh hold for feeling happy changes based on what we think is important at different times in our lives. We can become depressed and loose interest in most of life's details...

BUT.. for most heterosexual males there is a basic desire to mate with females and when they are unable to achieve such a basic goal it can lead to or exasperate depression issues.

Females tend to respond well to males that appear happy and positive and successful so it is important to give of that image..
 

WhtRbt

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Do you think about things like "I got to be ____" "I got to be CF" and bunch of things when you talk to girls, or are you like empty sleet, not think of anything and just "be you" ? I am planning to just keep stuffing myself with info, but now I am going to try to just empty myself from all thoughts when I talk to girls and see if that brings any success. Give me some inputs please. Thanks.
I do not think about any of this stuff when I talk to girls. I know all of this stuff, but I don't think about it anymore. I just be myself. My real self that I used to be shy about because I thought I was dorky or nerdy or whatever. Now I just do/say whatever I feel like and if it happens to be dorky or wierd, then so be it. I fully embrace my wierdness =)

That was my major change. I'm still exactly the same me, I just stopped hiding it or caring what people think of it and let myself out so to speak. My options with women have exploded.

Good luck.
 

WhtRbt

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I think the whole key to this stuff is to develop the ability to just put yourself out there completely 'naked'. No hiding, no armor, just you completely exposed. People may make fun of you. People may criticize you. People may judge you or whatever. Put yourself out there and let them. Notice how it does not affect you. You are free.

=)
 

thecurtainfalls

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The only thing I ever consciously tell myself when I am out and about or interacting with a girl is this:

Default to action!

No time to try and juggle canned routines or other BS in my head when I'm actually in the field and talking to a girl. The cute ones can sniff out disingenuous men in an instant.

The only thing I actively and consciously concern myself with is, "am I moving this situation forward in some way? If presented with the choice between action and inaction, am I choosing action/escalation?"

Another way of putting this mentality is "ABC".

Always be closing.
 

moneyisking

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wow some real good words I got from you guys. Thanks, I have read, so I will apply.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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