"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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if you are 30+ and you are moving to a larger town

kartofel

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for job opportunity as well as for the number of the women, how would you go about making a new social circle that would suit your needs?

I'm 31 so basing my sex life exclusively on daygame cold approach would be ridiculous

help me pls
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Tictac

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Social circles will take a bit unless you have hobbies and other interests that will plug you in to 'affinity' groups. Likely, work will be your initial social outlet.

Larger cities are 'target rich' environments for women. In your 30s, that means everything - bars, coffee shops, museums, stores and the rest of it.

Online dating is a bit odd for a 30 something. Too many other opportunities to meet decent women in real situations. But consider a profile on (say) Match.com and OkCupid. The numbers of women, including a few real finds, is really amazing in higher population areas.

In the end, it's a numbers game. So do what you can to increase contact, socially and with women.

Happy hunting.
 

London NATURAL

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Nothing odd about online dating (in UK), being new to the area is the perfect "excuse". Should fill your boots in a bigger town, enjoy!
 

DJ SO STEVE

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You could join volleyball or a recreational sport at a local community center around you if there is one. That's a healthy way of meeting people as they will have the same interests as you. Be sure to hang around people that are single, because sometimes you may get stuck in a social circle of couples and that won't be good for ya.
 

kartofel

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Tictac said:
Social circles will take a bit unless you have hobbies and other interests that will plug you in to 'affinity' groups. Likely, work will be your initial social outlet.
honestly social circles and women in general would be much easier if I had some musical talent and could play an instrument, because than I could join several small bands and play in different pubs and bars, putting myself in the scene in the most favorable way
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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DJ SO STEVE

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kartofel said:
honestly social circles and women in general would be much easier if I had some musical talent and could play an instrument, because than I could join several small bands and play in different pubs and bars, putting myself in the scene in the most favorable way
You may think joining bands and playing at different pubs is the way to go. Yes it's cool but there are a few problems which are time and commitmen. Your main focus is meeting women, find something to do in which you can get the best return on investment (ROI).
 

kartofel

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DJ SO STEVE said:
Your main focus is meeting women, find something to do in which you can get the best return on investment (ROI).
okay seems fair, what do you do as high ROI activities?
 

DJ SO STEVE

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Let's focus on you and your situation of moving to a larger town. At your new job you will meet various people. Among these people you will choose who to build better relationships with. Your goal is to meet women, and you have to spend your time wisely. After work drinks with people around your age is quite common depending on what kind of career you are in. At office jobs, outings like this happen more often than so especially in the summer. If you come off as a charming guy you'll make friends in no time and people will want to call you out even on weekends.

The city or state you are moving to probably has a website in which you can find various co-ed activities you can sign up for. This will give you the ability to meet people you have common interests with. A lof women sign up for indoor volleyball, ultimate frisbee, etc.

Befriend the single guys who have game around your age and run game with them on weekends.
And remember to tell selected people you are new in town, it will make making friends a lot easier!
 

DJ SO STEVE

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BeDJ said:
If you want a cool social circle and HB's on the way stay away from www.meetup.com

At meetup.com you can meet people with the same interests but good luck finding any HB's on there. I joined meetup.com 5-6 years ago only for language exchange purposes. You won't find any HB's on there. Even if you find 1, it won't be worth the time you'll have to invest.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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zekko

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kartofel said:
honestly social circles and women in general would be much easier if I had some musical talent and could play an instrument, because than I could join several small bands and play in different pubs and bars, putting myself in the scene in the most favorable way
Having spent a good many years playing in bands (although not currently), I have to say that there are a few downsides. For instance, you can be stuck on stage playing a gig for five hours while the regular patrons can work the crowd, talk, dance, pick up, etc.

Having said that, you still meet enough people to make it worthwhile. There was a time when I was younger when I met nearly all my women through musical activities, either directly or indirectly.
 

SecondHalf

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kartofel said:
for job opportunity as well as for the number of the women, how would you go about making a new social circle that would suit your needs?

I'm 31 so basing my sex life exclusively on daygame cold approach would be ridiculous

help me pls
Join a salsa class, go to the practice events.
Seriously, even if this seems lame, there is so much opportunity.

I unfortunately took them with a woman I had recently met. I swore if ever again, I would do it as a single man. The women are typically thin and when they go out, they're dressed to kill.
Moreover, women love a man how can dance.
Win Win.

I've also found the urban outdoor clubs often available in larger cities to be good too.

For increasing your social circles alone, just pick a curiosity, or something that you enjoy doing and find a meetup group or something that is based on that type of thing.

Good luck,

SH
 

sharkbeat

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  • Your Job. Don't date anyone here. Dating and Work don't mix. It might work if you two are in two completely different departments that don't talk to each other. Use them for the basis of your social life.
  • Join clubs. meetup.com or whatever classes you find interesting. Remember, though, that it should be about YOU, not finding HBs specifically. Don't go out joining clubs desperately trying to find chicks. That will only hurt you.

Rinse and repeat. The focus of all these social activities should remain on YOU.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Scaramouche

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Dear Spuds,
"so many people in here removed from reality"....So why ask for help?
 

kartofel

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Scaramouche said:
Dear Spuds,
"so many people in here removed from reality"....So why ask for help?
well I was thinking that you had more ideas than I did since you must be more experienced, but I'm sorry to find out that most of you are sitting at home addicted to the internet pushing your seduction fantasies around here

I could read better stories on an errotic literature forum than yours
 

Married Buried

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LiveFreeX said:
I'm 33 and my wife is 24, petite and Asian...

what have you got there Karfy?

He can move to a big city and find one of those without moving to China.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Spuds,
I think you want it all handed to you on a plate....The suggestions here and in similar threads are very helpful,that we don't respond more enthusiastically is that this topic has been done to death so many times,it recurrs in various forms every month...The problem is that you are going to have to remodel yourself to suit the changed environment...That's our reality what's yours?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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