"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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If this is a test, what do I say?

NoMoreTapDancing

Don Juan
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Sigh... You're probably just friends, and when she said "She's thinking how much she loves you" she most likely meant as a friend. When you said you loved her too, you totally wierded her out. Girls call me 'babe' all the time, it's just something they say- the reason she felt wierd about using the word 'babe' with you is because she realize when she says it it'll mean waaaay more to you than it was supposed to.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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stoner1129

Don Juan
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Sorry but I was talking to her tonight, and she told me she that her night if I coulda been there with her in her bed, so I said "yeah that would be nice". Before that she told me how wearing a bra to bed helps them get cancer, so then she HAD to take it off, so i'm like really confused with this, with how she keeps changing so randomly. Also what should I have said when she said the bed thing?
 

cedd

Don Juan
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in bed with her take your boxer off and say that wearing it helps you get balls cancer ;)

you could also have said :
Let me be your underwear...so I can touch you there, there and there..
.

cheers
 

Good Cat

Don Juan
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this girl the classic type that doesn't know what she wants. Talking about laying in bed could have been a test to see what you're after or she genuinely wants you to feed into it. Don't feed into it, tell her how laying in bed with her kinda scares you because she might try to take advantage of you.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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NoMoreTapDancing

Don Juan
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Yeah Stoner1129 i'm pretty sure it IS like that.
While you're getting confused by every little thing this little girly does, there's some guy on her speed dial waiting to take her from behind. Why not harden the **** up?
 
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