"If there was a gun to my head, I still wouldn't bone _____"

[Atom Smasher]

If there was a gun to my head, I would ask them to pull the trigger before I would bone Amy Allan from the Dead Files.

Although I've elicited most of those faces from women in my past, to see them manifesting all at once would terrify and disgust me!

Amy: :crazy:
Me:

How about you guys? What women strikes terror and disgust in your heart with the thought of boning them?

 

[Atom Smasher]

No dude, you've got to see her live-time in order to know what I'm talking about. While she's investigating, she contorts her face into the most bizarre and grotesque shapes. These faces are stunningly hideous.

The other, secondary thing she has going against her is fat. Oh, how I hate fat...

But the faces. You should tune in to the show and see what she does with her face. And then imagine doing her while she's making those faces.

LOL, I'm traumatizing myself just imagining it...

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Here's a mind fvck, since you goofs are purposely imagining some horrible things:

You're laying there on your back, and the porn star of your dreams is riding you like she's got to come to save her life.

Right when you cross the point of no return, a pair of handcuffs suddenly restrain your wrists, and that porn star suddenly turns into Amy Allan, and leans forward and blows a kiss at you with some horrible death breath.

Then pukes all over your face.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I was fvcking this girl, not too long ago actually, and she had on way too much eye makeup. She also had this thing about staring at me intensely while we were having sex. I guess she thought it was sexy, but it was weirding me out. And then it hit me, "oh my God, she looks like Gene Simmons from Kiss!" And then my boner died.

So apparently, even with a gun to my head, I could not fvck Gene Simmons.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'm honestly not a Kiss fan.

She also kinda looked like "Elvira" http://www.fanboynewsnetwork.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/Elvira.jpg I just can't do scary makeup.

 

[zekko]

would it have been any better if it was peter criss?

I saw him on "That Metal Show" the other day. He had his hair dyed jet black, which is okay for an old rocker dude, I guess.

He was saying that it was disrespectful for someone else to dress up like the Catman and perform with Kiss. I can see that, but didn't he and Ace sell off those characters to Gene and Paul for like a million dollars apiece or whatever?

 

[Atom Smasher]

I was fvcking this girl, not too long ago actually, and she had on way too much eye makeup. She also had this thing about staring at me intensely while we were having sex. I guess she thought it was sexy, but it was weirding me out. And then it hit me, "oh my God, she looks like Gene Simmons from Kiss!" And then my boner died.

So apparently, even with a gun to my head, I could not fvck Gene Simmons.

Was that Tammy Faye Baker?

 

[Atom Smasher]

dude elviras hot.

probably like 50 something now but she was a babe

She's around 65 years old now. She's relatively well preserved but I wouldn't bone.

 

[dasein]

I'm thinking Whoopi Goldberg

 

[Bible_Belt]

I'm thinking Whoopi Goldberg

good one!

 

[VikingKing]

rosie o'donnell

 

[The_flying_dutchman]

I'll see your whoopie Goldberg and Rosie O'Donnell...and put you all in with Hilary Clinton....

 

[dasein]

I'll see your whoopie Goldberg and Rosie O'Donnell...and put you all in with Hilary Clinton....

And there's the scariest "marry, f-ck or kill" trifecta in existence.

Start praying guys, we can't even fathom how bad hell might really be. Imagine 10,000 years naked in bed with those three... and they all have a pair of scissors and yeast infections.