You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Hahaha nice.Desdinova said:As a self-proclaimed nazi, I'm moving this thread to "Anything Else"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Awww - you worried about who your new babysitter will be bro?Bumsniff said:If the current mods were to leave SS and never post on another site again who would you want to be the new mods of SS? If anyone? And would you continue to stay here?
Those are actual requirements...That, and you have to have killed someone.5string said:All the mods here have multiple felonies, can't find their a$$ with both hands, a searchlight and GPS.
I like these guys.
It's more fun here...True story. Cleared my mailbox out, went to sleep, woke up the next morning..."You have 78 new messages!" F!ckBible_Belt said:I was a mod on Senor Fingers' spin-off forum, which was fun while it lasted...the forum more so than the mod part. I never realized how much people complain behind each other's back until I was on the list to get the "report this post" emails.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Purefilth said:Awww - you worried about who your new janitors will be bro?
goundra/twentee/timothymcveigh/etc etc etcBumsniff said:who would you want to be the new mods of SS?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.