Microphone Fiend
Master Don Juan
I'm starting right now and i noticed in the other thread, there are also others starting. So if you would like to compare progress with others, post your boot camp results in this thread
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
If starting a Boot Camp NOW, post here
- Thread starter Microphone Fiend
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I wasn't planning on doing boot camp, but what the hell! I think it'll be a great experience. I'll start immediately...can I count the 2 girls I already talked to today as my first 2 "hi"s? I'm not sure if I actually said "hi" or if I just went right into talking. What do you think?
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6/14/03 9:38pm
Per Cestmoi's suggestion, I am just going to keep my updates in this post. I am staying in for some desperately needed alone time tonight, but I have knocked off 4 of my "hi"s during various errands. 3 of the 4 were slightly longer conversations, but only 2 of those 3 were with women. More updates to follow.
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6/15/03 1:27pm
Wow, I had no idea this would be so hard. People just do NOT want to make eye contact with strangers! I guess that's understandable...that's what I used to do. Makes it hard to pick up those "hi"s though. Anyway, only 3 more done, 2 of the 3 being short conversations with women, which I'm glad of. Only 43 to go...
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Microphone Fiend
Master Don Juan
sure why not Tyler, lets get this thread off to a good start, we'll count your to hi's
RawkinKaoticStyle
Senior Don Juan
alright
Da-OnlyX
Don Juan
imma start over. I fvcked up last time.
i'm in
i'm in
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
isotope
Senior Don Juan
well i added my post to the other Walden thread, but i really just started so ill like it here too
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&postid=257950#post257950
anyway, my real problems are conversations: i suck at chatting someone up naturally. i think if i stick to the boot camp rigidly though, and try to get rejections as it suggests, maybe i will learn to just say whatever comes to mind and not give a fvck. I missed out on lots of fun because i was so quiet/a loner. I have simply got to change myself befor ei graduate from college and miss out on all the easy chances at fun relationships. I really want to change and i know other guys here do too, so thats why i think this board is great.
http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&postid=257950#post257950
anyway, my real problems are conversations: i suck at chatting someone up naturally. i think if i stick to the boot camp rigidly though, and try to get rejections as it suggests, maybe i will learn to just say whatever comes to mind and not give a fvck. I missed out on lots of fun because i was so quiet/a loner. I have simply got to change myself befor ei graduate from college and miss out on all the easy chances at fun relationships. I really want to change and i know other guys here do too, so thats why i think this board is great.
teh winneh
New Member
I dunno where I should post.... I did the week 2 earlier this week and as I was walking home from a club I decided to start doing week 1 (maybe it had something to do with me being under the influene of alcohol) and said hi to 10 people... I only got 2 responses thought but whatever.. maybe it has something to do with the time (3 am) or the culture here (nobody says nothing to nobody).
Walden
Master Don Juan
Hey guys.
I'ma keep my post ticking over cos I'm hoping to keep my whole B/C experience along with your comments as one chronological thread, but I'll definitely check in on how you're all doing.
Isotope, if yer having trouble thinking up what to say just imagine you've run into one of yr buddies at the class, y'know you'd say something like " Hey did you see they're running a new tae bo class next week?" or whatever.
Maybe have some stock standard joke you can throw in as the second thing you say.
Right now I'm studying a lot so I do my
"I've been studying accountancy all week , I can't buy a cup of coffee any more without worrying wether to depreciate it as capital expenditure or jus charge it as an expense..."
My Gym jokes include stuff about the instructor ("Jeez could you imagine living with him, that much enthusiasm that early in the morning would be too much") or about how unfit I am ("the cardio monitor keeps telling me to call 911").
I mean Jerry Seinfeld isn't worried or anything but it breaks the ice.
Good hunting!
I'ma keep my post ticking over cos I'm hoping to keep my whole B/C experience along with your comments as one chronological thread, but I'll definitely check in on how you're all doing.
Isotope, if yer having trouble thinking up what to say just imagine you've run into one of yr buddies at the class, y'know you'd say something like " Hey did you see they're running a new tae bo class next week?" or whatever.
Maybe have some stock standard joke you can throw in as the second thing you say.
Right now I'm studying a lot so I do my
"I've been studying accountancy all week , I can't buy a cup of coffee any more without worrying wether to depreciate it as capital expenditure or jus charge it as an expense..."
My Gym jokes include stuff about the instructor ("Jeez could you imagine living with him, that much enthusiasm that early in the morning would be too much") or about how unfit I am ("the cardio monitor keeps telling me to call 911").
I mean Jerry Seinfeld isn't worried or anything but it breaks the ice.
Good hunting!
Ok this is it people!!! It is monday morning for some of ya and it will be for the rest of us when we wakeup tommorow! This is the moment of truth. Can ya pass week 1 of the bootcamp!?!
****! Why isn't anyone doing anything? Did ya give up!? C'mon you can do it soldier!
Edit your posts on status and do make sure to go into details.
My mission:
Day 1:
Today I made a tough restriction on myself which sure made me go thru my plan for the day. The plan: Not allowed to return home or eat unless I lock eyes, smile and if enough time throw in a nod to 50 strangers. Well guys it worked! The first 5-6 are hard. But with each next one till 20 it geats easier and easier, and after that its piece of cake. After doing twenty you just can not - not lock gaze with people you pass by. What's up with people though? I think the record before looking down was like 3/4 of a second. Some look back and smile, and some just keep looking at the ground. IS IT MADE OUT OF GOLD?
Plan for tommorow 100 lockeyes + 10 hi's.
Day 2:
Day 3:
Day 4:
Day 5:
Day 6:
Day 7:
-------
P.S
Thanks for the tips walden. You were real brave to make an entire thread about your experiences and actually pull thru week one. Congrats man and good luck on the cold convos!
P.P.S
Microphone fiend! I don't think we'll be able to squeeze all 8 weeks into a single thread, so I think it might be better choice to do a thread per week.
****! Why isn't anyone doing anything? Did ya give up!? C'mon you can do it soldier!
Edit your posts on status and do make sure to go into details.
My mission:
Day 1:
Today I made a tough restriction on myself which sure made me go thru my plan for the day. The plan: Not allowed to return home or eat unless I lock eyes, smile and if enough time throw in a nod to 50 strangers. Well guys it worked! The first 5-6 are hard. But with each next one till 20 it geats easier and easier, and after that its piece of cake. After doing twenty you just can not - not lock gaze with people you pass by. What's up with people though? I think the record before looking down was like 3/4 of a second. Some look back and smile, and some just keep looking at the ground. IS IT MADE OUT OF GOLD?
Plan for tommorow 100 lockeyes + 10 hi's.
Day 2:
Day 3:
Day 4:
Day 5:
Day 6:
Day 7:
-------
P.S
Thanks for the tips walden. You were real brave to make an entire thread about your experiences and actually pull thru week one. Congrats man and good luck on the cold convos!
P.P.S
Microphone fiend! I don't think we'll be able to squeeze all 8 weeks into a single thread, so I think it might be better choice to do a thread per week.
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Microphone Fiend
Master Don Juan
Im gonna try and go to the beach today and get some EC and Hi's in.
yea, i agree with c'estmoi's idea just update your post. Eventually you will run out of textspace on the post so just try and keep it neat. For example when you are updating put the Week and day in bold such as:
Week 1 Day 3
........................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................
.....................................................................
yea, i agree with c'estmoi's idea just update your post. Eventually you will run out of textspace on the post so just try and keep it neat. For example when you are updating put the Week and day in bold such as:
Week 1 Day 3
........................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................
.....................................................................
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Walden
Master Don Juan
Hey Cestmoi
The first few days of the "hi" thing sucked for me.
Initially just keep going , and you'll get enough times when you have eye contact that you'll be quick off the mark enough to drop in a "hi".
However I'm finding that you can say hi at a lot of different times.
Basically if you and the other person are walking up a corridor or a street and you're the only two people there , t.o.p will look at you first from too far away for you to comfortably greet them (say 10 or 15 paces) this way they're just getting navigation information so they don't inadvertently walk into you. Once you get into about 10 paces range if you shoot of a casual "hi" , most people will look up and say hi back.
It's also an instinct thing I think , in that you have to train yourself to say hi once people make eye contact cos in a city full of muggers, rapists and hare krsnas , they'll only make eye contact once.
The other bit of advice i'd have is make your greeting as casual as possible at first , like youre only saying it outta politeness.
Y'know like when you're at a wedding or something and a zillion poeple all file past you , you're like "hey , hi , how'sitgoing, hey , hi......".
Good luck and good hunting.
In my training today I'm gonna start three cold convos (which for me is a pretty high goalpost, don't laugh MOTU).
The first few days of the "hi" thing sucked for me.
Initially just keep going , and you'll get enough times when you have eye contact that you'll be quick off the mark enough to drop in a "hi".
However I'm finding that you can say hi at a lot of different times.
Basically if you and the other person are walking up a corridor or a street and you're the only two people there , t.o.p will look at you first from too far away for you to comfortably greet them (say 10 or 15 paces) this way they're just getting navigation information so they don't inadvertently walk into you. Once you get into about 10 paces range if you shoot of a casual "hi" , most people will look up and say hi back.
It's also an instinct thing I think , in that you have to train yourself to say hi once people make eye contact cos in a city full of muggers, rapists and hare krsnas , they'll only make eye contact once.
The other bit of advice i'd have is make your greeting as casual as possible at first , like youre only saying it outta politeness.
Y'know like when you're at a wedding or something and a zillion poeple all file past you , you're like "hey , hi , how'sitgoing, hey , hi......".
Good luck and good hunting.
In my training today I'm gonna start three cold convos (which for me is a pretty high goalpost, don't laugh MOTU).
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indra79
Don Juan
Count me in. I'll keep my results posted here.
Peace.
Peace.
Jango_Xavier
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2003
- Messages
- 247
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- 0
- Age
- 44
Im in i'll start monday morning.
BTW there is a good way to come over funny as a convo starter it might not work for everyone but I get a laugh all the time I think it might be the way I bring it over.
Here goes if I see a HB and want to convo I just go "Hi how are you"?" most say fine thanks and "and how are you" back. I say "wait a minute this is getting a little personal I don't even know you" for a moment they look at me like "what the ****" then they crack up, after that just start a normal convo.
Like I said this might not work for everyone.
WEEK 1
DAY 1: 12 hi's and 3 eye contacts.
BTW there is a good way to come over funny as a convo starter it might not work for everyone but I get a laugh all the time I think it might be the way I bring it over.
Here goes if I see a HB and want to convo I just go "Hi how are you"?" most say fine thanks and "and how are you" back. I say "wait a minute this is getting a little personal I don't even know you" for a moment they look at me like "what the ****" then they crack up, after that just start a normal convo.
Like I said this might not work for everyone.
WEEK 1
DAY 1: 12 hi's and 3 eye contacts.
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Mr. Fancy Pants
Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 26, 2002
- Messages
- 26
- Reaction score
- 0
Hey, I'm in on this. I've tried this before and haven't made it far, but I'm on a mission to improve myself this summer.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
indra79
Don Juan
12 hi's today. I didn't really go to a crowded place like a mall but I just said hi to people that passed by. Also, had a short (about a min) convo with one of the people on the street. It was mostly fluff talk but who cares...
That's all I can write now as I have to hit the sack
Peace.
That's all I can write now as I have to hit the sack
Peace.
indra79
Don Juan
Hi dudes,
For the second day, 13 hi's and 4 convos. The convos took place at the meeting I attended today. I almost got to know everybody that was at the meeting.
And I get the feeling like I'm the only one posting here. Tell us about your experience guys.
Peace.
For the second day, 13 hi's and 4 convos. The convos took place at the meeting I attended today. I almost got to know everybody that was at the meeting.
And I get the feeling like I'm the only one posting here. Tell us about your experience guys.
Peace.
Ah you can only EDIT a post 2888 minutes after it was created, so there goes my plan on keeping updates by editing one post. It's alot more tidier that way and this is the first forum i've even encountered that doesn't allow editing.
It's really killing all our bootcamp efforts but heck!
Mine's pretty pathetic anyway!!
Day 2 and Day 3
I made like a 100 eye-locks with attractive girls and never let down first. BUT COULDN"T GET MYSELF TO SAY HI!!!! I just didn't want to. Why!? Anyone know? What's so darn special with a hi?
I initiated 6 convos without a problem, coz that's how I've met my previous girlfriends. But I can't say hi! Why!!! It's driving me mad.
I can flirt from distance and then begin convo, but no hi. Put a pistol on my head it won't come out.
Only did a total of 5 hi's. And that was all in situations I would ussualy have had them. Like when standing next to each other waiting for the traffic light or waiting in a line (number closed like that 2 months ago). NO DAMN ****ING HI!!!
Damn i'm so stressed. I need to dunk myself in icecold water. Bye.
It's really killing all our bootcamp efforts but heck!
Mine's pretty pathetic anyway!!
Day 2 and Day 3
I made like a 100 eye-locks with attractive girls and never let down first. BUT COULDN"T GET MYSELF TO SAY HI!!!! I just didn't want to. Why!? Anyone know? What's so darn special with a hi?
I initiated 6 convos without a problem, coz that's how I've met my previous girlfriends. But I can't say hi! Why!!! It's driving me mad.
I can flirt from distance and then begin convo, but no hi. Put a pistol on my head it won't come out.
Only did a total of 5 hi's. And that was all in situations I would ussualy have had them. Like when standing next to each other waiting for the traffic light or waiting in a line (number closed like that 2 months ago). NO DAMN ****ING HI!!!
Damn i'm so stressed. I need to dunk myself in icecold water. Bye.
indra79
Don Juan
Hey man if you can make eye contact with 100 attractive girls in two days, that's something. I would consider myself lucky if I saw 100 attractive girls in two days; let alone making eye contact
By the way, if I put a pistol in your head, you could say hi to these girls after stuffing 20 peanuts in your mouth
Where do you live, btw, cestmoi?
By the way, if I put a pistol in your head, you could say hi to these girls after stuffing 20 peanuts in your mouth
Where do you live, btw, cestmoi?
Yeah, man, but its not much for me rejoice about since I have always had strong eye contacts. Except that with this excercise I noticed the subtleties (that's how ya spell it?) in the details of how you do it..Originally posted by indra79
Hey man if you can make eye contact with 100 attractive girls in two days, that's something. I would consider myself lucky if I saw 100 attractive girls in two days; let alone making eye contact
Did ya notice that if you put a real nice full teeth DJ smile their faces almost always light up in response? Even the most stuckup ones give back a nice smile. And some give ya a full big smile that could melt ya right at the spot. Differences in results based on how you look at them as well. But that's hard to explain. Did ya experiment on that indra?
No it'd be more like hiiiyayayaaah!Originally posted by indra79
By the way, if I put a pistol in your head, you could say hi to these girls after stuffing 20 peanuts in your mouth
Europe. It's not the surrounding though. Its me. People are warm and friendly here. And they respond very well to greeting from strangers. Its me that has some kinda mental blockage.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.