if she won't commit to a time and wants to find out what her friends are doing 1st

[pete101]

i have this difficult HB i met last week, i tried to fvck close her on the 1st date given i'd already kiss closed her several times on the night.

the problem is she never commits to a time and i don't know what to say to be assertive without coming across pushy. last week i said 'lets meet sunday speculatively, same time as last week' she goes 'i dont know what i'm doing i dont plan that far ahead..'

so i ring her yesterday and i try again for tuesday she gives me the same answer.. do i need to literally say to her 'so reserve tuesday for me then'?

i don't know what to say to get round her not commited answers.. it's like i have to cal her up on the day and gamble whether she's free.

is it unreasonable request that i want her to commit to a time for a date when she wants to find out if her girls are going clubbing 1st?

i dont want to get mad but i'm at the brink of telling her 'so reserve a night for me regardless of what your friends are doing' it's like she's putting her friends 1st before me.

everytime i'm calling up to arrange a time i'm looking more and more as if i'm clingy, if i leave it in her court to offer a time to contact me don't i have to pretend im busy that day she offers cos otherwise i'm just demonstrating i got no options and too available?

but if i do that i dont know when i'll get another time with her. how do i politely explain to her that she should reserve a night for me and if she can't then i just hang up the phone and try to wing it on days she's available?

 

[Alle_Gory]

She's not interested yet. She needs more attraction.

When they like you, they will make time for you. Always.

 

[Vice]

She's not interested yet. She needs more attraction.

When they like you, they will make time for you. Always.

Interesting, thanks for posting that, I just noticed that being true!

Anyway, as he said, more attraction.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Interesting, thanks for posting that, I just noticed that being true!

I noticed it the hard way.

If they want you, they will do as much as they possibly can to be with you.

 

[pete101]

see that's right, cos i called her and she basically told me 'if u want to make arrangements then maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore..'

i'm think is it too much to ask for reserve a night for me or at least let me know one day in advance??

i know im losing her attraction with this but i cant understand why she wont offer me a time.. it's like i have to call her up on the day and if shes not out with her friends partying then she'll meet me. she's only interested in having fun. which is good cos im not looking for a relationship with her but still.. i can't have fun if she's not there for me to fool around with.

 

[DJDamage]

She's not interested yet. She needs more attraction.

When they like you, they will make time for you. Always.

I agree with the second sentence.

This chick does not have high interest in you period.

You need to be spining some plates, because if you want to go out and she can't commit because "she doesn't plan ahead" then go out with someone who will.

Lack of options is your enemy my friend.

When a chick says "'i dont know what i'm doing i dont plan that far ahead.." its basically womense for:

"I am waiting to see whether I will have better more exciting plans, so if I won't I will settle for you."

My guess is that she is seeing other guys or certainly looking to meet other guys (clubbing with the girls pfff you should know by now what is that all about).

see that's right, cos i called her and she basically told me 'if u want to make arrangements then maybe we shouldn't see each other anymore..'

another womense for : "I don't want to be the bad guy and dump you so I hope you can get the hint and do me that favour".

its almost over.

 

[rapidfire]

yes, this doesn't sound good, although in some cases i wouldn't write it off as being a sign of disinterest. a lot of girls do like to find out what their friends are doing to hang out with them, that's usually after you've gone out with the girl for a while though.

since she's been blowing you off for a while, i would just move on. once or twice okay, but if it's constant the horse is dead.

 

[pete101]

she is actually going out with the girls.. dancing.

i made out with her several times the day we met.

she gives me ultimatum today of that she doesn't make plans and she's just looking for fun so if she wants to make arrangements then we shouldnt' see each other.

what can i say to her in response to that??

what i want to say is 'so is it really unreasonable for me to ask u for a definite time if i'm making date arrangements with you?'

i just dont understand this concept of being casual about arrangements.. if she doesn't commit to a time then you just keep trying to make arrangements you just appear full on.

are you suppose to just tell her to let you know when you're free and if i can make it that day i'll let you know.

 

[rapidfire]

ah, so she doesn't want to be serious okay. just tell her that's fair and wanted to get any confusion out of the way. Also tell her that you will be going out to have fun and meet other people in the meantime. if she wants to meet up in the future, she has your number and can give you a ring.

 

[Alle_Gory]

what can i say to her in response to that??

Why say anything?

what i want to say is 'so is it really unreasonable for me to ask u for a definite time if i'm making date arrangements with you?'

Logic doesn't work.

are you suppose to just tell her to let you know when you're free and if i can make it that day i'll let you know.

What???? :crazy:

Dude. Bottom line is that no amount of logic and reasoning will nail her down to something concrete.
She's just not into you. If she was she would;
1. Want to spend time with you.
2. Give you all sorts of subtle hints about what she wants to happen next.

Here is where you are:
1. Below her friends. She wants to hang out with them first.
2. Below other guys. She is clubbing with friends in hopes of finding a guy. Not you.


You have to attract her. Not force her.

She has to WANT to be with you.