If she wants to be exclusive..

[Colin O'Brien]

I've been hooking up with and seeing this girl for a couple weeks now... I recently thought about what I would do if she asked me for a relationship (something I think is coming soon). I've never been in one my entire life (I'm 18 now) and though I'm not only hooking up with her, I actually do like her a lot. Put part of me is telling me that I shouldn't do it and should focus on my DJ skills until I get them down 100%.. I'd say I'm about 1/2 of the way there right now.

If she wants to be exclusive, what would be the best thing do you think?

 

[magickarl]

The best thing to do is what makes YOU happy.

Thats what being a DJ is all about, after all.

The decision is real easy:

If you think it would make you happy to see this girl exclusively, then do it.

If you think you would be happier mackin' then do it.

Personally, I think you would be happiest telling the girl that you are exclusive to her, and then getting tang on the side. An important DJing skill is mastering the juggle effectively.

 

[mtlwlu]

If youre worried about the relationship card being delt, my best advice would be to say "I dont like jumping into relationships right away, lets take it slow for "X" amount of months first."

 

[handle]

Dude, I thought the same thing was going to happen to me, but then we talked about it and it turned out she wanted friendly companionship, hooking up, and that was all. Don't assume girls want to get tied down.

 

[Pathgen]

I was in the same situation as you last year. My girl told me however that she couldn't see me anymore unless we got into a relationship. Which i did and i was happy for the next 6 months.

Then i started looking around and seeing all the girls i was never going to have unless i broke up with her. I started to think that it was too soon for a relationship because I was only 18 and that i needed to get out of it.

So i broke up with her which was hard. Then i dated a couple of *****es that never made me nearly has happy as her. Now i want her back and she is dating some prick she met on the internet. I think i realized that their is nothing better than love from a good woman.

If i had to redo everything... i would like to say that i wouldn't have gotten in a relationship to avoid all this pain i have, but it was amazing while it lasted and i miss it.

 

[More Cowbell Please]

You don't sound like you are too ready for a relationship. If you want one, go for it. What will you gain if you do? What does she want from you that she doesn't have now?

 

[Colin O'Brien]

You don't sound like you are too ready for a relationship. If you want one, go for it. What will you gain if you do? What does she want from you that she doesn't have now?

what I want to gain is basically: experience

and the fact that I actually like her is nice too.. its not like I'll be tied down, I'll still go out and do the **** I'd normally do.

 

[2.0]

If you do want to be exclusive with her:

When she asks you, just be a bit shocked and say, "I don't know... I'm going to need some time to think about this." Then a couple of days later, call her up or go on another date and tell her, "I've been thinking about what you said about being exclusive. I guess we can try it for awhile and see how it goes, just don't get any ideas or think it's a permanent thing."


If you don't:

Again be a bit shocked and say, "I really don't think we've reached that point quite yet. Let's just keep dating for awhile and see where it leads before we decide to become exclusive."

(Be careful before rejecting though! Think about if she really is what you're looking for. It's always okay to do the "I need time to think about this" and then a couple days later say you want to keep dating non-exclusively if you really do need some time to think. It's also okay to accept her offer, then end it later if you decide it isn't working for you.)

Personally, I think you would be happiest telling the girl that you are exclusive to her, and then getting tang on the side. An important DJing skill is mastering the juggle effectively.

No. Absolutely not. This is wrong. There is no excuse for lying to a girl about this... it's called cheating. Think of how you would like it if a girl you were devoting all of your romantic energy to exclusively were secretly dating/having sex with other guys on the side.

 

[2.0]

its not like I'll be tied down, I'll still go out and do the **** I'd normally do.

I don't know what you mean by this exactly. Like I said before, when you agree to be exclusive you are making a commitment. You agree not to date other girls in exchange for her promise that she will not date other guys.