if she tries to take control, what of it?

[Big Eee Zee]

first question in a while-im in an ltr with a girl. we've pretty much decided that we want to spend our lives together, and i really think it will work out. But lately all of a sudden she has started to try and be controlling, you know?

ending conversations first
telling me that she is so sexy
saying if im not good i cant have her (flirty)

you know how it is. Im pretty much indifferent, i really dont care. if she wants to be controlling i can live with that, as long as she cleans/cooks/puts out, im not worried. im just wondering if this is bad because she may lose interest and leave me.

The thing is that you all have taught me well. she was being in controlling mode so i blew it off and told her how hard i was gonna party back in my hometown the day before she gets back. she got the idea i think cause she stopped being like that.

so, what is going on? When a girl all of a sudden changes like that whats the reason? Is she testing me, to see if we really will be compatible in the future? Is she insecure about loosing me so she's trying to control me? Or is it a joke and i should just make fun about it? Thats what i've been doing so far and its working.


just for background, im probably a little above her, as far as things go, and she's always been insecure about loosing me. I think she's starting to believe me when i say i wont leave her, but thats no reason for her to be like this.


Any thoughts?

 

[ShizamDaMan]

Those are tests, you identified them right. Just don't take excessive amounts of sh*t from anyone, especially her. If she's parading around saying she's the hottest thing since Ardiana Lima, you need to put her back in her place with a well placed neg hit. Something like "Darling, you're good looking... almost as good looking as I am. But you don't see me parading around like a fashionista."

Eh, that was a bad example. It's late and I'm tired. But you know what I'm getting at. Further cement it in her mind that you're the real deal and won't lose your balls in the long run.

 

[razors_edge]

shes testing you to see if you have balls and if you're a real man.

 

[MacDiddy]

Any thoughts?

Yeah, I got plenty..

ending conversations first telling me that she is so sexy saying if im not good i cant have her (flirty)

Maybe she's read David DeAngelo. That display is so "Alpha"

you know how it is. Im pretty much indifferent, i really dont care. if she wants to be controlling i can live with that, as long as she cleans/cooks/puts out, im not worried. im just wondering if this is bad because she may lose interest and leave me.

No, I don't. Shes acting very Alpha which is such a turn of for me and your acting very beta. I think you should care, coz its setting a very bad precedent... You might as well kiss those long term dreams out the door.

Dude. Sit her down, break it to her gently that she is not being very attractive with all this ball busting and disrepect.. You'll have to stand your ground and ride it out.

I think its pretty cute that you guys "Decided" that you'll be with each other forever.. seems like a bit of oneitis coming on. Also, you gave her security and now shes using it to do what she wants.

 

[Wyldfire]

She just sounds like a confident and playful woman who isn't particularly fond of talking on the phone.

I think you're overanalyzing if the things you listed are the only things you're seeing that has you up in arms.

 

[MacDiddy]

I think he's notice a sudden change in behaviour. Chicks don't get ****y & Funny all of a sudden for no particular reason.

Plus he would have put up with it for a while till be mustered up the courage to post his problem here..

 

[Wyldfire]

Originally posted by MacDiddy
I think he's notice a sudden change in behaviour. Chicks don't get ****y & Funny all of a sudden for no particular reason.

Plus he would have put up with it for a while till be mustered up the courage to post his problem here..

Maybe she's just more relaxed and feeling more comfortable with him than she previously had. Either that or he didn't clear the history in his browser and she has been reading his posts.

 

[Big Eee Zee]

hehe, she doesn't have access to my comp, no inside information. and no, this behavior started about a day before i posted this. I dont put up with ****. and its not oneitis, she feels the same way.

its not bad, its not disrespect, and its not really a problem. I mean, she still respects me. She had damn well better, or we are gonna have to have a talk.

I was just wondering why she all of a sudden changed the way she acted. At first i thought she was afraid of loosing me and was being like this to compensate. But i think wyldfire may be right, she has said that she was getting used to the idea of being able to have me (cause she was all afraid she would lose me), so maybe she is just more comfortable. thats a good thing, tho.

 

[Desdinova]

ending conversations first

So what? You're in a LTR. This isn't a big deal anymore.

telling me that she is so sexy
saying if im not good i cant have her (flirty)

If she's joking around when she says this, she's just being c/f. That's when you playfully fire it right back at her. Women who do this are a lot of fun to spend time with.

If she's serious when she says this, she's being an arrogant b1tch.

if she wants to be controlling i can live with that, as long as she cleans/cooks/puts out, im not worried.

Women will control you if you let them. If she dangles the carrot of sex over your head to have her way, she's controlling you. Once she has you by the balls, you become a miserable doormat, and her attraction toward you WILL go down. You need to stand up to her and not tolerate her 5hit.