dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
Any thoughts on how to avoid/combat/deal with this situation.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
If she says "Do You Love Me?"
- Thread starter dearsappho
- Start date
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Keeper
Master Don Juan
"Do you love me?"
"Off course... as a friend...."
"Off course... as a friend...."
First of all its kinda sad for her to ask. 
However in my experience most women who ask this question are insecure about the relationship. They don't necessarily need to hear those words. They just need to see some more interest on your part which is natural if you are playing the DJ game.
Try this.
Roll your eyes and try to make a joke out of the situation.
Laugh and tell her, "Well I used to, but not anymore."
She'll most likely ask why not.
Then say, "Oh I just change my mind from time to time. If I fall in love with you again I let you know as long as you don't ask first."
Shrug it off like she's being silly and that will keep her off your back for awhile. If she's really persistant then just tell her firmly that you're not going to tell her you love her if she asks you to.
However in my experience most women who ask this question are insecure about the relationship. They don't necessarily need to hear those words. They just need to see some more interest on your part which is natural if you are playing the DJ game.Try this.
Roll your eyes and try to make a joke out of the situation.
Laugh and tell her, "Well I used to, but not anymore."
She'll most likely ask why not.
Then say, "Oh I just change my mind from time to time. If I fall in love with you again I let you know as long as you don't ask first."
Shrug it off like she's being silly and that will keep her off your back for awhile. If she's really persistant then just tell her firmly that you're not going to tell her you love her if she asks you to.
Don Juanabbe
Master Don Juan
"Do you love me?"
"I f*ck you, don't I?"
"I f*ck you, don't I?"
NewMan
Master Don Juan
sure, just before I bust my nut.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
a line i have used TWICE and both times it led to a posative response:
"i dont know what love feels like so i cant say but i can say that i've never felt like this before."
b/c if you dont know what love feels like, you cant say yes or no and this allows them to interpret the answer how ever they want. I know C+F is a favorite around here but you dont need to be a funny guy all the time. there will come a point in the relationship where she wont accept a joke as an answer to a serious concern of hers, so that line is what i would recomend.
"i dont know what love feels like so i cant say but i can say that i've never felt like this before."
b/c if you dont know what love feels like, you cant say yes or no and this allows them to interpret the answer how ever they want. I know C+F is a favorite around here but you dont need to be a funny guy all the time. there will come a point in the relationship where she wont accept a joke as an answer to a serious concern of hers, so that line is what i would recomend.
PRMoon
Master Don Juan
How can she talk with her mouth full?... what?... strawberries are good...
Just say "Well...I don't really know what it is I feel other than I like it. I haven't thought about it and don't really want to for now. I don't want to jinx things by thinking about them too much. Let's just keep enjoying whatever it is we feel for each other without complicating things by trying to label it."
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
jakeyboy
Master Don Juan
her : do you love me?
me : why don't you stick around and find out?
me : why don't you stick around and find out?
dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
Some good answers. Especially the "If I fall in love with you again I let you know as long as you don't ask first.". Stops her in her tracks...
Thing is chaps...this girl is persistant. This is about the 3rd time in 2 weeks shes enquired and every time ive managed to avoid a direct answer.
She tells me she thinks the relationship is one sided (which it is to a point), and she cant cope with not knowing.
She slams good and is real pretty so i dont really want to ditch this one. if I tell her love her just to shut her up, thats it, she'll get what she wants and go looking for other guys to 'fall in love' with.
Sometimes its hard to juggle DJism with compassion, y'know?
Thing is chaps...this girl is persistant. This is about the 3rd time in 2 weeks shes enquired and every time ive managed to avoid a direct answer.
She tells me she thinks the relationship is one sided (which it is to a point), and she cant cope with not knowing.
She slams good and is real pretty so i dont really want to ditch this one. if I tell her love her just to shut her up, thats it, she'll get what she wants and go looking for other guys to 'fall in love' with.
Sometimes its hard to juggle DJism with compassion, y'know?
If she thinks the relationship is one sided with her being the main contributor to it she will likely end it before too much longer. You don't ever want the other person to feel like things are one-sided. Right now, you are in a position where your girlfriend is ripe to be stolen by a good looking guy who is charming and confident. You're going to have to at least make some gestures that will make her feel like you're emotionally vested in the relationship, too.
dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
Granted Wyldfire, but making those gestures you speak of has lead her to ask me if I love her or not.
Thats why she feels the realtionship is one sided - simply because she knows Im avoiding the issue, not because I am being cold and aloof. On the contrary.
If I yield I will loose her and if I hold out it seems I will also loose her.
Perhaps I am unwilling to take a risk on her but Ive learnt that once a woman knows she has you in that respect, she will more than likely depart to seek approval/supplication from other men.
Thats why she feels the realtionship is one sided - simply because she knows Im avoiding the issue, not because I am being cold and aloof. On the contrary.
If I yield I will loose her and if I hold out it seems I will also loose her.
Perhaps I am unwilling to take a risk on her but Ive learnt that once a woman knows she has you in that respect, she will more than likely depart to seek approval/supplication from other men.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
Because women chase love. They are addicted to it. If I tell her I love her, not only will I have decieved her, I will instigate disillusionment in her mind and she will have nothing to strive for.
Are you with me on this?
Are you with me on this?
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
She asked this same question to her other last 17 pimps who were "banging" her - don't be a fool and be the pimp that falls in love with her!!!
Say "No" to loving a HO!!!!
Say "No" to loving a HO!!!!
ShizamDaMan
Master Don Juan
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- Mar 26, 2003
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I don't understand. When your **** is in a girl's mouth they usually can't form coherent sentences...
I vote for a C+F line in this situation. Show her that you love her (if you in fact do).
I vote for a C+F line in this situation. Show her that you love her (if you in fact do).
TDOT
Don Juan
I would respond,
"Love is something that isn't expressed through words, it is expressed through actions. So ask yourself, how have I treated you in the past, and how am I'm treating you currently? Then you will clearly have the answer to your question, because I already know what the answer is."
"Love is something that isn't expressed through words, it is expressed through actions. So ask yourself, how have I treated you in the past, and how am I'm treating you currently? Then you will clearly have the answer to your question, because I already know what the answer is."
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.