Originally posted by i am me
I know that I should usually just "figure things out" (by experience)
Don't ever be afraid to ask for help, you may not always get it but that shouldn't deter you. This is a very serious matter. But I would have researched this first using the "SEARCH" function on the site by typing in perhaps "boyfriend" & "cheating", you get the idea now, so I'm sure you'll try that next time.
but I want to know what I should do in this situation...
No one can make that decision for you and shouldn't. We can only give you helpful suggestions that you can take however you please.
This girl has a boyfriend, but I know for a fact that she's still attracted to me.
If this is true and she makes this obvious, she's a player and only wants you to be the "fill-in" for him when he's not around. Why would you let yourself be played? You need to make sure though, so run this test.
Don't call her for a month and a half, let her call you, if she does shes interested in you. When she calls only ask one thing, "Are you still with him?" If she says yes,
then make it clear that the two of you cannot do anything together until they break up and you would appreciate her calling you when that happens, if the answer is no then unload your game right away and move it for the kill.
..she used to have a crush on me a year ago, but the crush never really died out (one of her friends told me this).
Don't listen to 3rd-party info, no matter how close the relationship is. If you didn't hear it from her mouth, assume its not true, and needs verfication which you can only get from her.
It's also pretty basic knowledge that I had a crush on her this year (everyone in my grade, including her, knew this). I still have a thing for her (call it one-itis if you want, but I call it being "special"...),
This statement let all of us know for sure that you are an AFC and
a Needy Nervous Wreck (NNW).
You need to work on yourself first before you even think about getting with this girl. Read the bible. Go through bootcamp. After doing those two things you will be so ready. And you will know it.
and I want to know what to do now that I know she still feels an attraction for me.
Most likely she doesn't feel and attraction for you. Most likely she's playing you because she knows that you are an AFC, and she wants to keep it like that because she knows that if you are a needy AFC, she can get you to be there when her man can't be. By putting your foot down and telling her that you refuse to do nothing with her until her and her man are done, you won't fall into her game, you won't be used by her as a "fill-in", and you won't be needy anymore.
She's still with her boyfriend, so she probably has strong feelings for him
Probably not, she's probably playing him too. The only difference is he's probably not an AFC like you.
...but if she STILL has a crush on me after all of that, then she must feel pretty strong about me too.
Have you asked her if she has a crush on you?
If not why don't you ask her next time you talk to her?
Do I wait until they break up?
Yes.
Do I go on to other girls?
Yes.
You never should have stopped doing that.
You always do that.
Or do I start flirting with her now
Don't flirt, attract. The way to attract at this stage is to call her on her game by letting her know that you know what she is up to. Show interest by telling her to get back to you when they are through and their LTR is over.
and hope that it speeds up their "break up"?
Flirting won't speed the breakup it will only prevent it.
She wants you to flirt with her. She wants your attention without commitment.
Don't hope anything except that you develop into a master Don Juan and a seasoned player.
