If she breaks no contact

[Bumsniff]

If an ex etc breaks no contact even if you initiated it don't get your hopes up.

She may act nice and caring but she's only concerned with herself, her ego, and seeing if you are still going crazy and in love with her for her own benefit.

Don't fall for it. Don't answer. Keep moving ahead and let her wonder for the rest of her life. Don't let her get the closure she wants to feel good about herself.

If you do answer, go back, talk it out. You'll have to learn the hard way. No contact works best the first time around.

 

[JohnChops]

If an ex etc breaks no contact even if you initiated it don't get your hopes up.

She may act nice and caring but she's only concerned with herself, her ego, and seeing if you are still going crazy and in love with her for her own benefit.

Don't fall for it. Don't answer. Keep moving ahead and let her wonder for the rest of her life. Don't let her get the closure she wants to feel good about herself.

If you do answer, go back, talk it out. You'll have to learn the hard way. No contact works best the first time around.

Ive always thought about this , about NC.... Is she really contacting you because shes missing you or because she wants an ego boost. Couldn't she simply just go out and flaunt her sh1t to get an ego boost?

Also what if you need closure on the girl? Better to get it or move on completely?

Im just curious because I feel like I should go NC with this girl but cant decide if I need closure from her to completely move on .

 

[Greasy Pig]

My ex texted a half-arsed apology after I found out she'd been screwing some guy while telling me she "just needed some space to sort some stuff out", then another one saying she missed me and wanted me to talk to her, another asking if I got her last text, and another one saying she wished I would just snap out of it and get back to my old self.
I didn't reply to any of them.
I was sorely tempted, just to prove I was cool, mature and unaffected, but the guys here at SS, convinced me not to and it was the best thing I ever did.

NC after a break-up should be used as a healing method and also a way to hold onto what little dignity you have left in her eyes.
Any contact just sets her mind at ease and I didn't want that.
I want her to wonder what I'm up to, if I hate her, if I think she's a slvt, if I'm going to abuse her if I ever run into her again. All those thoughts keeps her hamster running at a million miles an hour and that's the best revenge you can have. As my sig states: Hamsters run best in silence.

NC can also be used to set or maintain frame control. By withdrawing attention, you either punish her for an indiscretion or piqué her interest to a point that she re-focuses on you. If you're not initiating or replying, she's wondering what you're doing. Maybe you're fvcking someone else. Maybe you're losing interest. Maybe you're dead!
But if there's no interest there, NC won't work.

 

[Iceberg]

Ive always thought about this , about NC.... Is she really contacting you because shes missing you or because she wants an ego boost. Couldn't she simply just go out and flaunt her sh1t to get an ego boost?

You're applying logic to emotional creatures (women) in an emotional situation (a breakup).

What if I said to you, "If you wanted a steady, loving girlfriend, couldn't you simply go out and meet new girls instead of chasing a failed relationship?" See what I mean...

Sure, the girlfriend COULD go out and flaunt her sh1t to get an ego boost. But she wants the ego boost of knowing that her ex is still crazy about her. Not the ego boost of some drunk dudes hitting on her at a bar.

So my point is - it's not about getting just any random emotional fix.

Also what if you need closure on the girl? Better to get it or move on completely?

I think "closure" is a childish concept. What is closure? Is it one last conversation with the bf/gf? Is it 5 conversations? Is it one last night in bed? And so what if this gf explains WHY she broke up with you....it will never be the truth. She's never gonna say "You're a terrible f**k. You're a sissy. You have an annoying voice." It'll be something like "it's not the right time. We're on different paths. I just want some time to find myself."

So when you're asking for "closure" to me it just sounds like you're asking for pretty lies to make you feel better about getting dumped.

If a woman breaks up with you, it comes down to "I dont want to date you anymore." that's all you need to know.

Im just curious because I feel like I should go NC with this girl but cant decide if I need closure from her to completely move on .

If this girl left you, then No Contact is your only path. Whether you like it or not. We're men. Unfortunately, we have to live in the real world. Not the world of feelings and emotions.

If you feel like this girlfriend is trying to get you back, then who am I to tell you to walk away? But if you're just looking for some abstract concept like "closure", then I gotta tell you that it's time to grow up.

 

[SamTheHobit]

I think no contact is a great way to get an ex gf back.. In that time of no contact you can improve yourself a lot and learn not to be such a wimp.

 

[bigneil]

There is no set pattern. Women are not predictable.

There are no rules except you want her to have high interest and you want her to initiate half the time or more.

Wanting closure just means wanting a happier ending. The best possible ending is after a date in which you had sex. The only other options are: she dumps you (bad) or she marries you (worse). Ending on a good note is essential.

 

[JohnChops]

The way you put the whole part on an ego boost really shows a womans true colors .... they really are some interesting creatures. They dont just want any ego boost they want an ego boost from you .

I guess your right neil, closure is childish , no need for it. And she texts me every other day like clock work lol being all flirty and all , its kind of funny actually.

Thanks Neil and Iceberg

 

[bigneil]

They dont just want any ego boost they want an ego boost from you.

It's actually a good sign when she values your opinion of her. The key to long term seduction is to alternate between making her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world in your presence and then becoming absent for long enough for her to miss you. She'll always want her space because when you make her feel special she wants to test her new powers on other men. So she will still try to take you for granted and she will still likely leave you, but if you do it right, after a few months whe will want to see if she has maintained the role of your ideal woman.

"Mirror mirror on the the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"

 

[Renegade357]

I think no contact is a great way to get an ex gf back.. In that time of no contact you can improve yourself a lot and learn not to be such a wimp.

You can get her back after the following:
1. She strikes out with the guy she left you for.
2. You actually change.
3. About 2 years go by. (minimum)

This only applies if she drops you. If you drop her for screwing up it's a totally different ball game.