If no woman lives up to your "mother" expectations, surrogate?

[SamePendo]

Just a thought.

Let's say, maybe not today, but tomorrow, for whatever reason, you are looking to start a family. But no woman has the qualities you look for the mother of your children. What would you think of any form of surrogacy? Would you consider that?

 

[Luthor Rex]

I'm not sure how well that would work, legally I mean.

I've thought about that: give a woman $$$ to have my baby and then leave after it's born so that I can care for it by myself.

But what if at the last minute she decided she wanted to keep it and run off? I'd be screwed.

Now, if there was some kind of air tight law which allowed me to do it, I might think about it.

 

[DJDamage]

Is it even natural for a man to look for "qualities of motherhood?"

I think that its best to look for the highest quality of a woman or women you are pursuing for sex because even if you are careful you can still get a woman pregnant and therefore banging the town's slvt isn't always such a good idea.

Also why would you want a kid if you don't have a woman around to help you raise it?! there are already too many mothers that have robbed children of having a father in their lives because the mothers were looking selfishly to their own needs as opposed to the child.

Not to mention the cost of keeping a child around while you are at work and paying someone else to take care of it can be stressful as itself.

Get a dog instead.

 

[Da Realist]

Why not adopt?

 

[Ganondorf]

adoption would be my route

 

[Luthor Rex]

Why not adopt?

If you want children to be genetically yours, then adoption doesn't work.

 

[Da Realist]

If you want children to be genetically yours, then adoption doesn't work.

I know that. But a family isn't just a group of people who share a genetic code.

 

[Luthor Rex]

I know that. But a family isn't just a group of people who share a genetic code.

Ok, so what?

 

[Da Realist]

Just offered an alternative that didn't involve the risks you mentioned. That's still allowed on here last I checked.

 

[Commandante]

Let's say, maybe not today, but tomorrow, for whatever reason, you are looking to start a family. But no woman has the qualities you look for the mother of your children.

This is crazy talk. This is the way of the 25+ women. They are always crazy about family and are looking for a father-type man.

 

[Luthor Rex]

Just offered an alternative that didn't involve the risks you mentioned. That's still allowed on here last I checked.

You're alternative acted as though any child can replace any other child -- they can't. Adopted children can never serve as a replacement for the real thing because they aren't biologically yours. Oh I know soft heart crowd will say otherwise, but this is the Darwinian struggle where second best is still a losing strategy.

 

[Da Realist]

You're alternative acted as though any child can replace any other child -- they can't. Adopted children can never serve as a replacement for the real thing because they aren't biologically yours. Oh I know soft heart crowd will say otherwise, but this is the Darwinian struggle where second best is still a losing strategy.

Gonna have to disagree based on life experience. I've seen people neglect their own children and others take care of kids that weren't their's like they were their own. I've seen a woman allow her child to be swung like a club(not making this up whatsoever) as well as a guy make so much impact on a boy's life that he was like a second father to him. Biology only goes so; the rest is what a man has in himself that will produce a productive citizen. It's like when Epictus reasoned that when you lose something, you should look at what you have in the most basic terms. If your wife died, you realize that what you lost was one of numerous women that still exist and she wasn't yours to begin with anyway. The same could be with any child because beyond it all that child will leave one day after you raise them whether they share your dna or not. If you want to attach the "Darwinian struggle" to your decision, it's fine by me and there's nothing wrong with it. But in the larger sense all children need proper guidance and that doesn't require a collection of shared chromosomes.

 

[SamePendo]

Why not adopt?

Would you? And raise them on your own, without a mother?
If you had the opportunity to do the surrogate stuff, would you do it instead of adopting? What would you look for in the -adopted-?
And, in case you went for the surrogate stuff, what would you look for in the mother?

would you want a kid if you don't have a woman around to help you raise it?! there are already too many mothers that have robbed children of having a father in their lives because the mothers were looking selfishly to their own needs as opposed to the child.

Its precisely because you are thinking unselfishly that I suppose that one would do the surrogate thing. Because you don't want a ho (or ho-like) to be the mother of your children, or to raise them.

 

[Da Realist]

I mean, if the whole idea is to get a woman pregnant just to have a kid, then I figure adopting and raising the child on your own is a viable option. You don't have to worry about the mom keeping the child at the last minute, making some kind of financial arrangement since I doubt a woman will carry a kid for 9 months for a guy she barely knows without some type of incentive, or can she take you to court for child support. You apply, go through the process, and have a child you can raise for yourself. As far as what I would look for in a kid I'm adopting, I would look at their temperament as well as the absence of any major emotional problems. I don't need a budding psychopath with a temper in the same house with me. Yeah, I can discipline them, but I also have to sleep at some time and don't want to be set on fire while lying in bed.

Now as far as getting a surrogate, I'm assuming you mean she just bears your child and leaves. So you want to find all these characteristics that you like in a woman, get her pregnant, and then tell her to leave? Why? If you found someone you like, why not just date her, marry her if you believe in that, and you two raise the child you want together? Truthfully, I wouldn't go through all the searching for a woman just for a kid that doesn't exist yet. If I find a person I like, I'm staying with them and the kid would be a product of that union instead of the union just being about producing a child.