slipstreamer83
Don Juan
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This man´s wisdom is incredible. You´re a life guru, Pook!!!!
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
If life seems hard and unhappy, read this!
- Thread starter Pook
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Thumbs up to Pookman.
It was about to chase your dreams.
If you want to be an artist if that is your Gift, you don't have to turn around the art world to success.
It just requires the gift, passion, trusting in your instincts, let yourself go on the flow...
My father is an exellent example for this!
His dream was to become an artist. And not be broke.
After he failed high school he tried to get into a fine art school.
He failed.
He tried again.
Got passed in!
BUT he was insecure about the "risks" of trying artist career and he didn't go there...
He did ****ty jobs and floated around even till he was 40, had gambling problems, his lovelife was **** (I suppose) after divorcing my mother, he had a car accident and broke his back in a way he really can't do anything that is too tiring to his back: no sports that once was his passion! He even tried to commit a suicide!
Then, one day he asked himself "Am I ready pursue my dreams even I was going to be lonely untill the moment I die?"
Note he was dead serious about this.
It was a culmination point:
To take a path of security that is already known
OR
Taking path that is unknown and is a risk towards anything he has.
The answer struck him couple of days later.
Yes! He was ready to even be lonely untill the day he dies in order to get what he has dreamed of!
I know little what happened little after that.
He tried his wings. Around 40 year old wings that had never really used to fly before facing a fact that they might not work well enough! It is scary as hell to go for something you have but you don't know if it works and your future life depends on it.
He started making art I suppose. He reached for his dreams!
Did whatever to get them.
One day he met his current wife that he has been over 10 years with now. I've never seen a couple after 10 years of marriage like that! They share dreams. My father is now successful, he does work when he wants to, he is totally in control in his business and does whatever he wants to do! Note, he COULD get it way bigger and get way more money, but he has everything he has always wanted. Own house, own family, a good car, the way of making money he has dreamed of. Everything!
He doesn't want to have more money. He is satisfied since he has done everything to chase his dreams and he got there!
I can imagine what a jackass he has been before.
At this point he is one of the wisest men I've ever known.
First he regretted his past life really long but was able to fogive himself the mistakes he had.
My father is one who has followed his dreams. He is a happy man.
Late yes, but better than sob and cry in your death bed!
Think about it!
Life is adventure, you don't want to go by what some other people show you should do!
It is like movie where you are the writer, director and in the lead role! But you don't know all of it beforehand! How exciting!
Be selfish! It is YOUR life!
Nobody, I repeat, NOBODY has right to lead your life except you.
It shall end too soon. Why to waste it by walking on a leash!?
This post wasn't about standing for up the society.
It was about to chase your dreams.
If you want to be an artist if that is your Gift, you don't have to turn around the art world to success.
It just requires the gift, passion, trusting in your instincts, let yourself go on the flow...
My father is an exellent example for this!
His dream was to become an artist. And not be broke.
After he failed high school he tried to get into a fine art school.
He failed.
He tried again.
Got passed in!
BUT he was insecure about the "risks" of trying artist career and he didn't go there...
He did ****ty jobs and floated around even till he was 40, had gambling problems, his lovelife was **** (I suppose) after divorcing my mother, he had a car accident and broke his back in a way he really can't do anything that is too tiring to his back: no sports that once was his passion! He even tried to commit a suicide!
Then, one day he asked himself "Am I ready pursue my dreams even I was going to be lonely untill the moment I die?"
Note he was dead serious about this.
It was a culmination point:
To take a path of security that is already known
OR
Taking path that is unknown and is a risk towards anything he has.
The answer struck him couple of days later.
Yes! He was ready to even be lonely untill the day he dies in order to get what he has dreamed of!
I know little what happened little after that.
He tried his wings. Around 40 year old wings that had never really used to fly before facing a fact that they might not work well enough! It is scary as hell to go for something you have but you don't know if it works and your future life depends on it.
He started making art I suppose. He reached for his dreams!
Did whatever to get them.
One day he met his current wife that he has been over 10 years with now. I've never seen a couple after 10 years of marriage like that! They share dreams. My father is now successful, he does work when he wants to, he is totally in control in his business and does whatever he wants to do! Note, he COULD get it way bigger and get way more money, but he has everything he has always wanted. Own house, own family, a good car, the way of making money he has dreamed of. Everything!
He doesn't want to have more money. He is satisfied since he has done everything to chase his dreams and he got there!
I can imagine what a jackass he has been before.
At this point he is one of the wisest men I've ever known.
First he regretted his past life really long but was able to fogive himself the mistakes he had.
My father is one who has followed his dreams. He is a happy man.
Late yes, but better than sob and cry in your death bed!
Think about it!
Life is adventure, you don't want to go by what some other people show you should do!
It is like movie where you are the writer, director and in the lead role! But you don't know all of it beforehand! How exciting!
Be selfish! It is YOUR life!
Nobody, I repeat, NOBODY has right to lead your life except you.
It shall end too soon. Why to waste it by walking on a leash!?
Peter Parker
Don Juan
Great story Hot Ice
I can't understand these people who want To be trapped in a cubical for a nice pay check. Then use their plasma screens, cars etc etc as a crutch for living a life without purpose, passion and ambition.
I can't understand these people who want To be trapped in a cubical for a nice pay check. Then use their plasma screens, cars etc etc as a crutch for living a life without purpose, passion and ambition.
Jay Gatsby
Don Juan
Tell me the truth, would you sacrifice your dreams and sit in a cubicle for $150,000+ a year? For how long? Would you put on the "golden handcuffs" and adopt a lifestyle in keeping with making such money?
I find it curious that most people who say follow your dreams are: (a) broke/not earning that much; (b) have millions in the bank already; or (c) are simply trying to make a buck repeating the same advice that has been given for 2,000 years. It's very easy to spout platitudes to "follow your dreams". On the other hand, it's ridiculously difficult to follow through on your dreams.
Jango_Xavier
Senior Don Juan
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Paise Pook
This post is absolutely awesome, freedom is the way to go ive been on the security path my whole life & i dont want to be this way later. Every night i think about how I can change my life & get hyped up about it & when I get up I still dont do anything stay the way I am. I'll read your post many times everyday until its in grained & never stray back to the security path.
Freedom is the way to go.
Thanks Pook.
J_X
This post is absolutely awesome, freedom is the way to go ive been on the security path my whole life & i dont want to be this way later. Every night i think about how I can change my life & get hyped up about it & when I get up I still dont do anything stay the way I am. I'll read your post many times everyday until its in grained & never stray back to the security path.
Freedom is the way to go.
Thanks Pook.
J_X
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
LogicalOptimist
Don Juan
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You're exactly right with respect to the details of "implementing" a dream. Especially a finanical dream. I think Pook is all about "lighting the fire" underneath everyone but leaving the direction up to the reader (after all, decision = risk, risk = good).
Let's take the "fabulously wealthy" dream since it's the most common. To do a literal translation of Pook's "security vs. freedom" thing, you can become fabulously wealthy by withdrawing your life savings from college / your home and bet it all on a single hand of Blackjack. That's silly. The "golden handcuffs" jobs may be unpleasant, but the payoff is increased mobility towards your dreams at a slower rate of return. The analogy then becomes, you can invest X thousand per year on those kinds of jobs, which means you will likely be wealthy in Y years. The sacrifice is large (potential unhappiness at work, workaholism which removes other luxuries from life) and the risks are both lesser in scale and more intelligently made.
Most materials that I've read from self-made millionaries mention tenacity, wisdom / insight, and risk, in that order, to achieve financial success. So first comes sacrifice and hard work, and the risks are infrequent and usually guided by insight.
If you've got a dream, let's say, to become an astronaut, then the analogy is similar but there's even less room for risk. It's a pretty well-defined path to become an astronaut, which includes a lot of college and graduate education. The risk is that choosing this path closes thousands of others to you; you're betting your life and livelihood on becoming an astronaut. Tons of sacrifice. Delayed gratification to the extreme.
And what about being a pitcher for the Major Leagues? Here both the risk and amount of self-sacrifice is huge. You need to practice like a maniac, to be sure. It might be, I don't know, a one in a thousand chance that you'll be on the hill at a Major League ballpark if you practice religiously with the same amount of sacrifice as other professions. That's probably assuming that you specialize in this and don't do much / any college to fall back on. Assuming you've made it that far, you need to stay fit and healthy or you're done. You can be injured in a way where you'll never pitch again. What then? Designated Hitters (American League *grumble*) can't take the mound for you, too.
You need hard work and sacrifice, innate ability / insight, and risk, in order to live your dreams. The proportions vary, and you can even choose the proportions for certain things, but you need all three. Oh, and there's probably a social element too (like, you have to know the right people to succeed in certain ways). The bottom line is that this "path of freedom" is really hard for mortal men to take.
embrace my dream eh? my dream was always to be a soccer player. i had the talent when i was younger to become a professional player, was told to join soccer teams so i could make it. drugs and just everything else had messed me up. now someone tell me to chase my dream of being a soccer player at 19?! ive missed years of training. its impossible to start at 19 and become a soccer player. impossible to say the least. ive only realised lately what i could of been. chase my dream eh!? bull****! coz if i chase this dream now, theres only one thing thats going to happen and that is failure and losing even more like oxide said.
its nice hearing the sucess stories but they are very rare.
its nice hearing the sucess stories but they are very rare.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
you're so young, bob
At 19 it's hard to believe you could have messed up yourself beyond the ability to come back, unless it has caused you to be literally unable to play due to paralysis or something like that. 19 is very young.
But even if you don't realize one dream, have you not others? The point of this thread (correct me if I'm wrong, Pook), is to really live, and not to just sit still and rot. For there are people who have done great things even as senior citizens or after major setbacks. Those who say "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" don't know very many old dogs.
*********
Props for a very inspirational thread, Pook, and to Hot Ice for sharing the story of your father's decision to really live. It came at a very good time for me, writing as one who's situation is in transition, but sees many opportunities for the the Phoenix to rise from the ashes, so to speak.
Keep moving forward, and so your range of options and opportunities will move forward with you -- or even ahead of you.
At 19 it's hard to believe you could have messed up yourself beyond the ability to come back, unless it has caused you to be literally unable to play due to paralysis or something like that. 19 is very young.
But even if you don't realize one dream, have you not others? The point of this thread (correct me if I'm wrong, Pook), is to really live, and not to just sit still and rot. For there are people who have done great things even as senior citizens or after major setbacks. Those who say "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" don't know very many old dogs.
*********
Props for a very inspirational thread, Pook, and to Hot Ice for sharing the story of your father's decision to really live. It came at a very good time for me, writing as one who's situation is in transition, but sees many opportunities for the the Phoenix to rise from the ashes, so to speak.
Keep moving forward, and so your range of options and opportunities will move forward with you -- or even ahead of you.
DJBen
Master Don Juan
You wont plaY for your country, but you could still play high level football if you applied yourself.
It's all about immediate application to initiate implimentation. Alright, that was wordy crap... APPLY YOURSELF.The longer you sit here saying ' I cant be a football player ' the more time you're wasting. You could have signed up for a local team, met a load of blokes that are potential mates - increasing your footballing skill. Instead of writing that post, you could have been making a baby step to your dream.
Go sign up for a local team right now. I'd rather die knowing I risked everything, tried my hardest and applied myself rather than sitting here saying 'HAHA, in your face! I cant get my dream!'
It's all about immediate application to initiate implimentation. Alright, that was wordy crap... APPLY YOURSELF.The longer you sit here saying ' I cant be a football player ' the more time you're wasting. You could have signed up for a local team, met a load of blokes that are potential mates - increasing your footballing skill. Instead of writing that post, you could have been making a baby step to your dream.
Go sign up for a local team right now. I'd rather die knowing I risked everything, tried my hardest and applied myself rather than sitting here saying 'HAHA, in your face! I cant get my dream!'
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
face
Don Juan
bump
Tryptamine
New Member
bob246, you should not give up because just by thinking that you are admitting to yourself that you are a failure. You probably still have the potential but I guess we'll never know since you've already given up.
Oxide, <3 .
Why is everyone so submissive here? Sheesh!
Bob, you fukked up. Suck it up. To the rest of you, quit telling him to persue something that no longer exists. The dude is right, he made the wrong choice now he can chew on it. The problem with his choice of dream is that it is set within a certain time frame.
Pook, I very much enjoyed the analogies. People will look here and relate your post to their insecurities and ignore what you're trying to say. Amazing how one wrong choice will impede the next right choice.
Why is everyone so submissive here? Sheesh!
Bob, you fukked up. Suck it up. To the rest of you, quit telling him to persue something that no longer exists. The dude is right, he made the wrong choice now he can chew on it. The problem with his choice of dream is that it is set within a certain time frame.
Pook, I very much enjoyed the analogies. People will look here and relate your post to their insecurities and ignore what you're trying to say. Amazing how one wrong choice will impede the next right choice.
WorldCitizen
Don Juan
- Joined
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- 26
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There's a spiritual sound to your posts, are you god? 
A fabulous post, this is the kind of thing I come here for...the kind of life guidance I'm unfortunately not able to get in my family (no adult figures who can tell me HOW to decide and make the right choices), I really appreciate the advice. I had actually been in a bit of a dilemma this past month because I had a change of majors, from my "security" route to my "freedom" route. I now feel good that someone else sees things how I do eventhough my whole family was against the idea of switching majors.
A fabulous post, this is the kind of thing I come here for...the kind of life guidance I'm unfortunately not able to get in my family (no adult figures who can tell me HOW to decide and make the right choices), I really appreciate the advice. I had actually been in a bit of a dilemma this past month because I had a change of majors, from my "security" route to my "freedom" route. I now feel good that someone else sees things how I do eventhough my whole family was against the idea of switching majors.
disciple
Senior Don Juan
This post was exactly what I needed to read right now.
I'm in a job that I can't stand working for f*ckin idiots and I've dealt with alot of crazy chicks lately so my love life hasn't been without any stress.
I'm not getting any younger and from a financial or success standpoint, I'm not where I want to be.
I'm on the freedom path but it is definitely not easy and I've gone through alot of ups and downs.
Currently, I'm starting my own business because that has always been my dream and I'm going through stress with that also.
Even though the freedom path can be very difficult (at least initially), I would rather live and die going for what I truly want than die with a mind full of regrets.
To me, taking the freedom path is taking the path of the strong, independent man who will persist even in the face of hardship and keeps his goal in his mind even through difficult times.
Taking the security path will only guarantee that your life will be mediocre and uneventful and you'll never feel truly satisfied or at peace with yourself because you have denied yourself of the chance to live your life on your own terms.
Success in life or with anything takes persistance and constantly making attempts at achieving your goals.
The key is to always seek to learn something from your mistakes, failures, and bad times.
Also, don't keep repeating the same mistakes as many of us are prone to do.
I'm in a job that I can't stand working for f*ckin idiots and I've dealt with alot of crazy chicks lately so my love life hasn't been without any stress.
I'm not getting any younger and from a financial or success standpoint, I'm not where I want to be.
I'm on the freedom path but it is definitely not easy and I've gone through alot of ups and downs.
Currently, I'm starting my own business because that has always been my dream and I'm going through stress with that also.
Even though the freedom path can be very difficult (at least initially), I would rather live and die going for what I truly want than die with a mind full of regrets.
To me, taking the freedom path is taking the path of the strong, independent man who will persist even in the face of hardship and keeps his goal in his mind even through difficult times.
Taking the security path will only guarantee that your life will be mediocre and uneventful and you'll never feel truly satisfied or at peace with yourself because you have denied yourself of the chance to live your life on your own terms.
Success in life or with anything takes persistance and constantly making attempts at achieving your goals.
The key is to always seek to learn something from your mistakes, failures, and bad times.
Also, don't keep repeating the same mistakes as many of us are prone to do.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Love the article Pook....what's your dream? To be the best writer in the discussion forum?
I agree that for every success story there ten that failed. All people who try don't succeed but isn't that the point. It's better to have tried and failed then to regret never trying at all. Just my opinion...
I agree that for every success story there ten that failed. All people who try don't succeed but isn't that the point. It's better to have tried and failed then to regret never trying at all. Just my opinion...
Attraction
Don Juan
where can i get the free ebook of anthony ellis
ATribeCalledDS
Don Juan
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- Nov 17, 2004
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- 39
Awesome Pook. This is what i've needed to read these days. I'm in a state where life is ****ing hard right now. That will sure help me
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.