if gf is moody and doesn't want to talk..?

[tony-montana]

sometimes my gf gets moody cause she had a bad day and tells me she doesn't want to talk about it. even though relationships are all about talking to each other. fair enough ... i told her i know how it feels to be upset (i really do and you don't feel like talking to anyone) so i told her i will be around and left her alone. not to be rude but i don't really wanna talk to her if she's upset and moody and depressed or whatever. what do you guys do in these situations?

pfft shes annoyin me now. she's saying you will never understand what i feel. and i said how do you know. you can't know that. and shes like i realised i cant talk to you about anything. i said... what kind of relationship is it if you can't tell the one you love anything. now she's getting all depressed and pissed off. saying NO ONE IN THIS WORLD WILL UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL. WTF!?

 

[lordson]

imagine yourself in her shoes.

you're in a bad mood, you need to let off steam, dont wanna talk. after a little time then you calm down, regret the mean things you say and you're back to normal

give her space and time. act normal around her, you need to understnad that anger clouds the mind. you've probably felt it yourself

if you're big on understanding her, then you need to understand she needs a bit of time. theres nothing wrong with your relationship, she is not harbouring any ill will towards you. she's in her own little world of anger and isolation. just be yourself, dont push her too much, or she'll get more annoyed

my gf does this sometimes, after a few hours or so, out of the blue, she will randomly blurt out what was wrong, then you can discuss it and help her, and she will be back to normal

 

[tony-montana]

yeah i gotcha on that. i have felt that way and dont wanna talk to no one and later on i'm happy again. thanks for the info.

 

[lordson]

i find it best when this happens is just retun the silent treatment

"you wannan talk about it?"

"No."

"You sure?"

.... silence....

then just go about your regular routine, but keep in mind she is annoyed, so dont outwouldly enjoy yourself in whatever actvity you're doing too much

send her some attention and happy thoughts now and then

thats what i do



EDIT: WTF?? you can't type "outw ard" now??? wtf is wrong with that? it gets ****

 

[tony-montana]

okay just had a big fight...

[8:06:10 PM] me: sup babe
[8:07:18 PM] her: hi
[8:07:30 PM] me: how was your day
[8:11:07 PM] her: not really good
[8:11:13 PM] her: just kinda pissed at the miment
[8:11:18 PM] her: *Moment
[8:11:23 PM] her: and i don want to talk about it
[8:11:26 PM] me: surely it was better than my day.
[8:12:27 PM] her: nah
[8:12:38 PM] her: i m havin some problems
[8:12:44 PM] her: argh
[8:12:48 PM] her: go get some rest dude
[8:12:52 PM] me: like what
[8:13:05 PM] me: ex bf again?
[8:17:15 PM] me: dont worry babe. i'll give you time to yourself.
i know what its like when you feel that way. i'll be
around...
[8:17:18 PM] me: (L)
[8:25:34 PM] her: nobody will know how i exactly feel .
[8:25:44 PM] me: how do you know
[8:25:51 PM] me: you can't know that
[8:25:58 PM] her: and ur problems can never be compared to
mine .
[8:26:07 PM] me: is it family related or ex bf
[8:26:10 PM] me: just tell me that
[8:26:39 PM] her: u know what i realise i cant talk to u just
anything
[8:26:52 PM] me: of course you can babe.
[8:26:55 PM] me: thats what im here for
[8:26:58 PM] her: no .
[8:27:27 PM] me: what kind of relationship is it if you cant tell
the one you love anything
[8:27:27 PM] me: :S
[8:28:19 PM] EvoNn__ has changed his/her personal message to "NO BODY
IN THIS ****ING WORLD WILL UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL ."
[8:28:27 PM] EvoNn__ has changed his/her personal message to "NO BODY
IN this WORLD WILL UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL ."

[9:08:16 PM] her: its better to go out own ways
[9:08:53 PM] me: ?
9:21:39 PM] her: i wont put in any more effort in our
relationship
[9:21:57 PM] me: okay
[9:22:14 PM] me: wanna tell me what the problem is then
[9:22:25 PM] me: one day you are saying you love me now you sayin
you wanna go your own way?
[9:23:22 PM] me: well?
[9:24:52 PM] her: ive got nothin else to say
[9:25:12 PM] me: did i do somethin?
[9:25:20 PM] her: no u didnt
[9:25:36 PM] me: i have the right to know what the problem is if
you're sayin you dont wanna see me anymore.
[9:25:44 PM] me: cause you're confusing the **** out of me
[9:27:04 PM] her: i dont knowwhat the **** i m doing.
[9:27:14 PM] me: neither do i!
[9:27:19 PM] her: serious
[9:27:24 PM] me: you say you love me and then you say this **** to
me
[9:27:29 PM] me: and that you're booking a flight
[9:27:30 PM] me: WTF
[9:27:31 PM] her: i just feel like ****ing everythin i have in
life.
[9:27:39 PM] her: yeah What the ****
[9:27:40 PM] me: well you just ****ed it then
[9:28:01 PM] her: were both ****ed.
[9:28:24 PM] me: no im not ****ed. you said you love me
everyday... you were booking a flight on sunday.
[9:28:30 PM] me: then you say you wanna stop it
[9:28:33 PM] her: yeah i do love you .. but u at me ?
[9:28:39 PM] her: i m ****ing pathetic right now ..
[9:28:41 PM] her: *look at me
[9:28:44 PM] me: ?
[9:28:54 PM] me: i dont know what your problem is (her name). but its
really killing me
[9:29:09 PM] her: r u sure this is want you want ?
[9:29:16 PM] her: i dont wish to go through hell anymore .
[9:29:18 PM] me: i been telling you every ****ing day.
[9:29:23 PM] me: that i want this
[9:29:28 PM] me: and you keep dissapointing me.
[9:29:31 PM] me: and it hurts.
[9:29:32 PM] her: wanting to be with someone who is far far away
..
[9:29:38 PM] her: I M ****ED cause someone ****ED ME UP
[9:29:58 PM] me: if you can't get over your ex bf (her name)... then we
shouldn't be seeing each other.
[9:30:06 PM] her: I M ****ING OVER .
[9:30:11 PM] her: him that is .
[9:30:12 PM] me: so whats the damn problem
[9:30:17 PM] me: stop thinkin about the pasdt
[9:30:20 PM] me: ****
[9:30:21 PM] me: IM HERE
[9:30:23 PM] me: THIS IS NOW
[9:30:31 PM] me: AND YOU ARE RUINING IT
[9:30:49 PM] me: I WAS HAPPY ALL THIS TIME TALKIKNG TO YOU
[9:30:52 PM] me: AND YOU DO THIS
[9:31:08 PM] me: you like making me unhappy dont you.
[9:31:09 PM] her: I don deserve u .
[9:31:15 PM] me: you did this lasdt time
[9:31:16 PM] me: i had enough of it
[9:31:25 PM] me: you keep sayin you want me then you dont
[9:31:29 PM] EvoNn__ has changed his/her personal message to "today i
Learn somethin damned important Don't let a men ruin ur
life."
[9:31:34 PM] me: make a decision
[9:31:35 PM] EvoNn__ has changed his/her personal message to "today i
Learn somethin damned important Don't let a man ruin ur
life."
[9:31:39 PM] her: u know what
[9:31:43 PM] her: i m gonna **** off
[9:31:51 PM] me: why are you ruining us
[9:31:59 PM] me: we were happy and you started this
[9:32:12 PM] her: i cant make u happy ..
[9:32:18 PM] her: dude this isnt what u want being unhappy ..
[9:32:21 PM] me: you were making me happy. until tonight
[9:32:25 PM] me: cause you said you dont wanna be with me
[9:32:43 PM] me: i dont get you (her name) :S
[9:32:52 PM] me: DO YOU WANT TO BE WITH ME
[9:32:53 PM] me: OR NOT
[9:32:54 PM] me: simple
[9:32:56 PM] her: i want to .
[9:33:02 PM] me: SO WHAT THE ****
[9:33:04 PM] me: is the problem
[9:33:13 PM] me: why are you creating problems.
[9:33:26 PM] me: i never forced you to do anything (her name).
[9:33:31 PM] me: you were the one who wanted this
[9:33:45 PM] me: you want me ... but what ?
[9:33:48 PM] me: you like it when im angry ?
[9:34:13 PM] me: this never works out between us cause you **** it
up (her name).
[9:34:36 PM] me: and i still dont even know what the problem is.
[9:35:20 PM] her has been blocked


WTF !?? she did this 2 years ago thats why it never worked out. now that we started talking i thought she was a changed person. but she's still TAPPED. im so unhappy now cause i was excited about us now she's gone and torn my heart out.

 

[lordson]

on the phone? messenger?

well i think the time for giving her space is over, do what you need to do now

i can't tell you what to do, but i think its important for you to know, its not good to sound too needy or desperate

best of luck

 

[tony-montana]

messenger.... read up. just edited post.

 

[Pathetik]

I think that, when your girlfriend says that she has problem but doesn't want to talk about it, you must not try to make her talking.
The best thing to do is, in my opinion, to give her a big hug and to tell her you're there if she needs you.

Men always want to fix thing... This will make your gf even more upset because she presume you can't fix it, even if your advice is wise. ( and she's probably right)

Girls need presence and empathy and sometimes they just need to talk (without the guy trying to fix her problem)

That's what I learned during my two LTR. (4 years and 3 years)

EDIT: Well I've just red your msn dial ... I don't get it ... Is she now you're girlfriend or not ?
Msn is **** by the way ... If you have a fight with a girl during msn dial, just cut it and phone her

 

[tony-montana]

dont know man. she confuses me... i did absolutely nothing to her and she blurts all that out. weird stuff. i don't know what to do now... i've already just blocked her. i mean i shouldn't have to beg her or nothin she caused the fight.

 

[lordson]

sorry i dont have alot of time atm, but quickly

sounds alot like my gf sometimes, and we're still together

jusdign by her comments she wantst o be with you, but doesn't fele worthy, is is scareed or some **** like that

shell come round, dont fret too much.

 

[TheBaconator]

You wrote about this girl in another post. You say you met her online years ago and shes visiting you soon. My question is have you met this chick yet, and if yes how many times have you seen her? You sound like a total AFC here. Why are you even getting so stressed and putting so much into a girl who lives overseas and you will see rarley?

 

[chance]

sorry i had to use this nick cause the other one gave me that limit of posting. yes i am tony aswell. this is just back up username.

no i haven't met her before. it might sound funny to you but i did meet her online and we just clicked. the way i never clicked with any other girl in this country. she's in singapore and we share many interests... it's not my style but finding no girls where i am pushed me toward this type of dating.. might think im a loser or AFC but this is what is happening in my life atm.

anyway about the situation.

yeah umm she was being really weird today. if i didnt unblock her and smooth it out she probably wouldn't of booked her flight. but she is finally acting normal again. i guess the things i said helped. shes talking about the flight atm now.

me says (10:48 PM):
trust me. everything will be good once you're in my arms.
me says (10:48 PM):
all the problems will float away.
me says (10:49 PM):
you know what you need... a nice back massage
me says (10:49 PM):
and you ain't getting one till you come here.

after i said that... everything just went back to normal.

 

[TheBaconator]

Dude I think your on the wrong site. Sounds to me like LS is more suitable for you.

How on earth could you be in love with this girl and put in all this time when you've never even met her. Then on top of that get stressed out when she doesn't reciprocate online sweettalk.

She's not your GF, shes some chick you talk to online. She could be going out banging multiple guys daily and you'd have no way of knowing.

Honestly, what kind of advice do you want for this situation? You seem to be bending over backwards to please your online GF and then get frustrated about her responses.

You should just bang this chick when she gets here and then detact yourself emotionally and begin steps to recover from this onitis, because sooner or later she will meet a guy more accessable to her, if she hasn't already, and you will be dun.

EDIT: Are you a troll? That would make sense. I ask because searching through your threads under the name chance I find this one saying youre getting back with your ex after not seeing her for a year. By not seeing do you mean not talking online? LOL

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=145055

And then this one about your ex fcking 20 guys.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=145104

Now either you are a troll or one of the biggest AFCs on here.

 

[chance]

lol i know it's funny i laugh at this myself sometimes. but hey i can't seem to find any girls where i live. all they do is drink and smoke. and dont gimme that crap about not going to the right places cause i been everywhere. about me calling this girl my gf okay its a bit silly and i cant say i do love her cause i've never met her but it seems to make her happy when she thinks it like that... and it does feel good to say the things i say to her. she even just said she loved me just then. i dont know how she loves me since we haven't met but she likes to say it... i don't mind.

we'll see what happens when i meet her. who knows what will happen. all i know is we are gonna be fuking and having a good time. i'm looking forward to it aswell. when she goes back home she can decide what she wants and im alright with that. i just need something in my life cause i been single for a long time not because i can't get girls but because i am very picky and don't like the girls i keep getting involved with around here. i am just not attracted to the girls i meet here. but her... i like her.. and maybe i will like her even more in person. so we will see. pretty gay i know but hey that's what it is for me at this stage. have a laugh.

 

[decades]

your chick is potential trouble. she makes DRAMA and makes your life up and down. don't get oneitis with the girl you haven't even met yet! :kick:

 

[chance]

i won't man. i'm going easy on this situation until i meet her. i probably did over react to this whole thing but i was upset because she got me excited saying she's coming then not. but it's all back to normal atm.

 

[decades]

dude you are way too involved with this chick you haven't even met. you haven't even met and you already have relationship drama. There is X BF drama here that she is using on you. I would pull back and make her do some work. you have her up on a pedestal thinking she is the queen B. right now you have established her as the prize and you as the chump that will do just about anything to KEEP the prize! :nono:

 

[chance]

i dont care ... if she comes she comes. if not oh well i'll get over it. i can't just fukin sit there ignoring her acting like a snob. i dont like acting that way. i speak my mind. if she doesn't like it good for her. i don't play these stupid games. we are discussing flight details now i can't exactly snob her off so she works harder to get me or whatever. i enjoy what we have online even though its silly. we are definately not in love with each other ... impossible. but it's fun to say it and i like reading it. like i said before... when we meet, then we'll know what really is.

 

[dannyegg4575]

dude, I have the same problem too when talking to women. Tell you the truth, just shut the hell up at times. She knew you don't know how to communicate with her. Just be supportive when she needs it.