Giantsfan88
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She is now in control of the relationship right?
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I mean in general, she breaks up with you... ball automatically in her court?Maximummax said:Relationship?
its already over.
Move on
What the **** are you talking about you did not have a relationship with the girl ive been following you. You need to ****ing wake up and listen to the people here. Know where your level is at be open and honest and maybe people can help you then. You have a long road to go my friend.Giantsfan88 said:She is now in control of the relationship right?
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
That applies to my situation as well. Hence, I'm losing hope.LuckyStrike88 said:Know where your level is at be open and honest and maybe people can help you then. You have a long road to go my friend.
All right, I'm going to tell you what I have done in the past when I have been down in the dumps over a breakup, or even when I wasn't down in the dumps but wanted some company.Giantsfan88 said:She is now in control of the relationship right?
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
What if you were just casually dating? Less of a burned bridge? Corey Wayne says walking away and never looking back can possibly yield resultsPlayerSupremo said:This was written by someone long long ago on this very forum:
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When she says "Goodbye"
It breaks my heart everytime I see one of you guys post a "How do I get her back?" thread. The saddest thing is you probably didn't even do anything wrong. Let me tell you something that might help you move on. She ain't coming back. She's already made up her mind and cut the ties. It's not fair, it's not pretty, but the truth rarely is. Here's a few items that may help explain things.
Women think about their relationship 90% of the time.
Especially since we are told from the cradle that men don't understand a damn thing about love & relationships. We wonder where the relationship is going, where it is, where it was and about every possible direction it can go. She thinks about you as a potential husband, father, lover and will you dump her if she gets cancer. She'll question you IL ever second you're with her, and more so when you're not.
Women NEVER forget...never, never, ever!
You said something as a joke, she SAID she's fine with it and that should be your first warning. In "Woman-speak" the word FINE is defines like this F-furious I-inside N-never E-ending. She will be dragging crap up from thirty years ago to throw in your face now. (Does this mean walk on egg shells to prevent upsetting her? Hell no! But when she says she's "fine" with something and you suspect otherwise CALL HER ON IT. Tell her (don't ask, TELL HER): "So you're REALLY all right with this. You aren't pissed at me, and you aren't going to drag this up later. Is that right?." If she says yes, then don't tolerate her dragging up that item. She agreed she was fine with it and would move on from it.
Women don't like to hurt your feelings.
Really! We really don't like hurting you. That's why the "I think we should break up" line always hits you from out of left field. You never saw it coming, because she never mentioned two weeks ago that she was thinking about it. She didn't want to hurt your feelings. This is especially true if she thinks it wasn't your fault for the break up. (ie...she met some one else, she's having personal problems) This is also why we go to Car Shows (BORING!) and Monster Truck Rallys (LOUD and BORING) then tell you how much fun we had with a big grin!
When she says it's over, IT'S OVER.
By the time she decides it's over, it's over. She has thought up 197 reasons that you two shouldn't be together any more. She has cut the ties and made herself ready to move on. The only thing left to do is tell you. The more you hang on, stay in touch, & try to "win" her back the more fuel you give to her reasoning. The best thing you can do is kiss her on the nose and say: "Well Babe, it was fun while it lasted. Good luck!" and walk away. This doesn't mean she just didn't rip you heart out of your chest and stomp it to a greasy spot on the carpet. It just means that nothing else you can say will help the situation. Not pleading, not screaming and not threats. Don't call, don't write, don't e-mail, don't hire a 25 piece band to play her favorite song in her front yard. Walk away and let it go.
WaterTiger
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Move on. Don't hope for a miracle of her coming back into your life and light shining down from heaven and you live happily ever after.
If she broke up with you it's for a reason.
Don't live on the hope of crying and begging her to change. She probably has little interest in continuing and more than likely will be seeing someone else real soon.
It's the way they are. Don't hate it just learn to make it work for you.
Learn from your mistakes and move on vowing to never let it happen again.
good luck and pz.
Well said....logicallefty said:All right, I'm going to tell you what I have done in the past when I have been down in the dumps over a breakup, or even when I wasn't down in the dumps but wanted some company.
Many on this site will not agree with this, but many will too. I think it's a pretty good toss up.
Do this:
- Look through this forum for some of the old threads on setting up an online dating profile. They are out there. I don't have time to find them for you right now but they are there
- Once your profile is setup, look on this forum for some of the old threads about opening lines in online dating. Many of those too.
- Start talking to chicks that you consider below your standards. Get their numbers. Text them. And setup dates as fast as you can.
- Get out of the fvcking house and go out and have some fun. Use these women that are below your standards as practice to get to better ones, and as therapy. Why below your standards? Cuz your goal is to date as many women as possible in as short of a time as possible. You are clearly in a slump right now so why waste a date with a good women who is in your standards right now when you aren't at the top of your game.. Save the good ones for later when your head is in the right place and you aren't likely to act beta and ruin it..
- Don't go out with them thinking about your next GF, your next wife, or anything past that first date and some temporary company and fun. Maybe you will get some puss, maybe you won't.. Who cares.
- Date as many of these women as fast as you can. Think of them as beer. You drink. You enjoy, you are gone. I have a thread about this too.
I've done this in the past and had as many as 10 women I was talking to at once. I had to save them by their names, where I met them, and where they worked. Example "Lisa POF XYZCo" or "Dawn Tinder SSU", etc.
I've had dates one Friday, two Saturday, and two Sunday all with different women in the same weekend. I've b@nged two women in the same day before, by luck, but didn't expect it.
Expect that many of these women will flake on you. They will disappear like farts in the wind. They will setup dates and cancel or not show. Expect it, and move on to the next one.
Once you get your head out of a slump you can start moving towards better women that are more your standards..
Give it a shot. It will help you take your mind off the one itus you have for the one chick. It's all mental in your head my man. You can do this.
Now go, go, go.. And come back here and report to us on your travels.. :kick:
The bigger picture is that you shouldn't hold your breath waiting for those results. Better to move on assuming there is zero hope.Giantsfan88 said:What if you were just casually dating? Less of a burned bridge? Corey Wayne says walking away and never looking back can possibly yield results
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
LMFAO said:Jesus Christ.