if a girl says you're too pushy.. how should you respond/react?

[drift king]

if i've been told i'm being too pushy, and it's our 2nd date how do i react or behave/respond?

as in what do i say..? obviously i back off but i feel like i'm getting LJBF'd and it's like i have to force the kiss close to see how she reacts.

i got into a heated argument with her about how i felt she was leading me on and she kept saying i wasn't respecting her cos she told me how she said on our first date she wanted a guy to get to know her for her personality not her looks etc etc..

 

[eyedea40]

if i've been told i'm being too pushy, and it's our 2nd date how do i react or behave/respond?

as in what do i say..? obviously i back off but i feel like i'm getting LJBF'd and it's like i have to force the kiss close to see how she reacts.

i got into a heated argument with her about how i felt she was leading me on and she kept saying i wasn't respecting her cos she told me how she said on our first date she wanted a guy to get to know her for her personality not her looks etc etc..

i feel like she's just making excuses and i didn't do enough to raise interest level where she couldn't help herself but kiss me. anyway she kept putting on lip balm while we were getting into a heated exchange.. i was so annoyed i couldn't just chill..

when a girl starts putting on lip balm excessively while you're ending the night in the car saying goodbyes is she looking to kiss? (even she told me profusely she wouldn't do that on first meeting or until she knew someone better blah blah)

i was so angry i just told her to get out the car and i said i couldn't understand why she sat in there for 20mins just to be polite. i've never been so annoyed in my life.

I have been reading your posts for awhile man, and it seems like they are all the same, you dates all end in failure. I hate to say it again man AFC this is the reason it don't last. To be honest I have kissed every girl I have taken on the first date. You need to play it cooler, I know you read all the posts here; there is a ton of solid advice. Learn from others mistakes. It just seems like you don't listen.

 

[drift king]

yeah that's great you keep saying afc but that doesn't help me improve cos you dont give me solid advice about what to do instead?

 

[drift king]

i feel like she's just making excuses and i didn't do enough to raise interest level where she couldn't help herself but kiss me. anyway she kept putting on lip balm while we were getting into a heated exchange.. i was so annoyed i couldn't just chill..

when a girl starts putting on lip balm excessively while you're ending the night in the car saying goodbyes is she looking to kiss?

(even she told me profusely she wouldn't do that on first meeting or until she knew someone better blah blah)

i was so angry i just told her to get out the car and i said i couldn't understand why she sat in there for 20mins just to be polite. i've never been so annoyed in my life.

 

[eyedea40]

i feel like she's just making excuses and i didn't do enough to raise interest level where she couldn't help herself but kiss me. anyway she kept putting on lip balm while we were getting into a heated exchange.. i was so annoyed i couldn't just chill..

when a girl starts putting on lip balm excessively while you're ending the night in the car saying goodbyes is she looking to kiss?

(even she told me profusely she wouldn't do that on first meeting or until she knew someone better blah blah)

i was so angry i just told her to get out the car and i said i couldn't understand why she sat in there for 20mins just to be polite. i've never been so annoyed in my life.

The fact you were fighting with her (in a non playful manner) shows the date is dead. I think she felt uncomfortable with you, that’s the reason for the excessive lip balm, she was nervous. She totally was making excuses, that’s what women do. I think you should take this one as a learning experience, what not to do on a date. I think you try to hard man, you need to be your self, if women don’t like you fu*** there are more plates out there. I know it can be frustrating, NEVER show her your pissed, always play it cool like it don’t faze you.

 

[Lifeforce]

If she's telling you you are pushy then she probably hold no interest and probably is feeling disgust at your behavior. Forcing is NEVER good if she says no in a serious manner.

My advice would be to stop being so damn self centered and stop focusing on entirely on what you want. If you give that impression of that you only care about your pleasure then prepare for a fast ride to desperation land.

Accusing her of leading you on just gives her the impressions you dont even have control over your own feelings. What you need to do is to be able to not care whatever happens. If she dont have interest for you, fine, next. If she does, great, bring it on. Crying about how unfair she is because she doesn't want to kiss you is immature and unmanly.


If she doesnt want to kiss you then its due to:

She is not sexually attracted to your body
You lack personality, social skills


A few tips would be to:

Start going to a gym if you're not doing it. Dress decently and groom yourself decently as well. Doesnt need to be anything fancy. The gym will make you look better, fix your posture if you got bad posture, supply you with endorphines and extra testosterone making you more manly.

Develop a character where you do not care about the outcome. I know this one is really hard. You're stuck in the whole "raise her interest level"-thinking. Its all good and well but you need to move on from that stage into the. "Im just here to have fun and Im gonna take you along for the ride. If you're fun to hang around then I might wanna do it some other time". YOU GOT TO BE WILLING TO WALK AWAY! This is important. If you're not willing to walk away you'll come across as a major AFC. If she doesnt show you interest then fine find a girl who is. Dont be afraid of that next button in your head. You're the ****ing prize not her.

 

[nubian-knight]

My current GF is pretty head strong. And i will admit, i like to control the situation at any given time and girls have said i was dominant.

Not pushy though. Dominate any given situation respectfully but pushy is annoying

However when i first met her, i relaxed that a bit

you got to be more playful when you FIRST meet a chick

focus on the domination after you already got her

 

[Mavrick]

if i've been told i'm being too pushy, and it's our 2nd date how do i react or behave/respond?

You respond by not responding. You become less pushy by not pushing. It's time to pull, dude.

 

[drift king]

If she's telling you you are pushy then she probably hold no interest and probably is feeling disgust at your behavior. Forcing is NEVER good if she says no in a serious manner.

My advice would be to stop being so damn self centered and stop focusing on entirely on what you want. If you give that impression of that you only care about your pleasure then prepare for a fast ride to desperation land.

Accusing her of leading you on just gives her the impressions you dont even have control over your own feelings. What you need to do is to be able to not care whatever happens. If she dont have interest for you, fine, next. If she does, great, bring it on. Crying about how unfair she is because she doesn't want to kiss you is immature and unmanly.


If she doesnt want to kiss you then its due to:

She is not sexually attracted to your body
You lack personality, social skills


A few tips would be to:

Start going to a gym if you're not doing it. Dress decently and groom yourself decently as well. Doesnt need to be anything fancy. The gym will make you look better, fix your posture if you got bad posture, supply you with endorphines and extra testosterone making you more manly.

Develop a character where you do not care about the outcome. I know this one is really hard. You're stuck in the whole "raise her interest level"-thinking. Its all good and well but you need to move on from that stage into the. "Im just here to have fun and Im gonna take you along for the ride. If you're fun to hang around then I might wanna do it some other time". YOU GOT TO BE WILLING TO WALK AWAY! This is important. If you're not willing to walk away you'll come across as a major AFC. If she doesnt show you interest then fine find a girl who is. Dont be afraid of that next button in your head. You're the ****ing prize not her.

thanks this is exactly what i needed to hear and a kiss up the ass.

the thing is how do i get that mentality that i don't care?

cos you wrote 'If she doesnt show you interest then fine find a girl who is.' the thing is i been out on sooooo many dates this past year and all but 1 have been unsuccessful.. so it's hard for me to be in the mindset that there are others out there who are into me.. it reaps of insecurity i know but the facts don't lie..

the 1 that went well i lost her for being too full on cos i couldn't get out of the mindset that 'damn i've been out with all these girls this past year and she's the only one who was into me.. i can't lose this one.. ' and then the downward spiral began.. i know i need to lose that train of thought.. but how?

getting rejected on dates over 29 times isn't exactly going to fulfill me with confidence that there are other girls out there who are into me.. and if they are they're like 1 in 30.. those odds aren't exactly in my favour..

 

[Lifeforce]

Here's a thread by me when I was feeling like most **** and had 0 success with women. Was kinda into speed seduction back then for a while. Had tried everything with very little success.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=41533

Trust me I know how you feel man. And to be perfectly honest you cannot get into that way of thinking without success. It just doesnt work to just switch how you think in a heartbeat and ignore how you are feeling.

What saved me from being a desperate nobody was lifting weights seriously. It sound like nothing BUT it changed my life. It gives positive effects in all areas of life. If you do not lift weights then I really recommend you do it no matter if you're skinny or overweight.

I went from the "increase her interest level"attitude to "I'm here to have fun, if you mess it up by acting like a ***** or play games I'll take the next girl in line, your call".