Mr. Debonaire
Master Don Juan
Another thinking out loud session with your host Mr. Debonaire
One of those famous psychologists i'm supposed to know the
name of claimed that there is a stage in the teenage years called the "identity crisis" during this time, the teen will begin to question who they are or what part they are to play in the grand scheme of things.
We all face this stage at some point, whether we are conscious of it or not. we may not think the words "who am I?" but during this phase of our lives we strive to be the one whom everyone looks up to, the one everyone loves and respects. And of course the one who gets all the chicks.
Don't now turn around and say. "I'm not like that Debo, I'm DIFFERENT then everyone else. I don't CARE what anyone thinks of me.
This is the mentality that we are trying to achieve by becoming Don Juans, which is one of indifference. Because as we all know the easiest way to get a girl is to pretend that you don’t care, play it cool. This my friends is complete and utter bull****, if you didn’t care what anyone thought of you you wouldn’t be here. You care what the chicks think, you want them to like you. So don’t deceive yourselves. You DO want to be the one everyone likes.
This is what leads into the identity crisis. During your public school / early high school years you did not try to fit into a particular role or play a particular part. You simply WERE. You existed, you acted like your parents brought you up to act. Maybe it has to do with rebelling against authority figures, like your parents. But during this age, we discover that we don’t want what our parents want. We want to be our own person. This is however what leads to the crisis. Suddenly your friends may no longer be good enough. You want to be friends with those guys, there way cooler. But in order to be friends with them, you have to act like they do. Maybe that means playing the tough guy. Then they will respect you, sure! But when you cross that line, you are essentially erasing a little bit of who you are. You start to miss your old friends, but suddenly they don’t recognize you anymore. You are a changed man. Do you see where I’m going with this?
Of course you do, because if you aren’t or haven’t gone through this already then you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about. This is where I currently am as well.
Or I should say where I was. After reading a post by my dear friend Alex aka Cloud_UK, I was struck by a sudden revelation. I realized that I was in this stage! For the first time ever I consciously realized that I was going through this very change of personality.
I have an uncanny ability to concentrate so hard on philosophical inner debates such as this that I go into a virtual trance, where my mind becomes a battlefield of question and answers. At the end of the battle I emerged rather depressed. I realized that I was not like I used to be, the person I wished I still was had vanished forever. I realized that there were old friends, whom I had loved spending all my time with, whom I hadn’t seen in years because my changing mentality had left them behind. However, I realized something else as well. Although part of me has faded forever, I am still continuing to grow. My experience changes me, but not necessarily for worst. Now that I have completed this mental wrestling match, I am free to become whoever I wish to be, without roles or parts to play. I can act as I feel I should, not as I feel I would. This is my turning point. I believe I am now ready to become the person I have always wanted to be.
So tonight, I’m going to call up a few old friends, get together and remember the high and low times, without the restraint of trying to fit my image of myself. I am finally free.
One of those famous psychologists i'm supposed to know the
name of claimed that there is a stage in the teenage years called the "identity crisis" during this time, the teen will begin to question who they are or what part they are to play in the grand scheme of things.
We all face this stage at some point, whether we are conscious of it or not. we may not think the words "who am I?" but during this phase of our lives we strive to be the one whom everyone looks up to, the one everyone loves and respects. And of course the one who gets all the chicks.
Don't now turn around and say. "I'm not like that Debo, I'm DIFFERENT then everyone else. I don't CARE what anyone thinks of me.
This is the mentality that we are trying to achieve by becoming Don Juans, which is one of indifference. Because as we all know the easiest way to get a girl is to pretend that you don’t care, play it cool. This my friends is complete and utter bull****, if you didn’t care what anyone thought of you you wouldn’t be here. You care what the chicks think, you want them to like you. So don’t deceive yourselves. You DO want to be the one everyone likes.
This is what leads into the identity crisis. During your public school / early high school years you did not try to fit into a particular role or play a particular part. You simply WERE. You existed, you acted like your parents brought you up to act. Maybe it has to do with rebelling against authority figures, like your parents. But during this age, we discover that we don’t want what our parents want. We want to be our own person. This is however what leads to the crisis. Suddenly your friends may no longer be good enough. You want to be friends with those guys, there way cooler. But in order to be friends with them, you have to act like they do. Maybe that means playing the tough guy. Then they will respect you, sure! But when you cross that line, you are essentially erasing a little bit of who you are. You start to miss your old friends, but suddenly they don’t recognize you anymore. You are a changed man. Do you see where I’m going with this?
Of course you do, because if you aren’t or haven’t gone through this already then you have no idea what the hell I’m talking about. This is where I currently am as well.
Or I should say where I was. After reading a post by my dear friend Alex aka Cloud_UK, I was struck by a sudden revelation. I realized that I was in this stage! For the first time ever I consciously realized that I was going through this very change of personality.
I have an uncanny ability to concentrate so hard on philosophical inner debates such as this that I go into a virtual trance, where my mind becomes a battlefield of question and answers. At the end of the battle I emerged rather depressed. I realized that I was not like I used to be, the person I wished I still was had vanished forever. I realized that there were old friends, whom I had loved spending all my time with, whom I hadn’t seen in years because my changing mentality had left them behind. However, I realized something else as well. Although part of me has faded forever, I am still continuing to grow. My experience changes me, but not necessarily for worst. Now that I have completed this mental wrestling match, I am free to become whoever I wish to be, without roles or parts to play. I can act as I feel I should, not as I feel I would. This is my turning point. I believe I am now ready to become the person I have always wanted to be.
So tonight, I’m going to call up a few old friends, get together and remember the high and low times, without the restraint of trying to fit my image of myself. I am finally free.
