Ideas for letting her know she has a challenge

[Yachtie]

Any ideas on how to let her know other girls are chasing/interested in you when she doesn't see it (lives in different state) without pushing her away? The goal being to indicate I'm the prize, a challenge and elevate her interest.

Thanks.

 

[rtrev64]

Long distance dating? that will only work in a 50 mile radius not 100 miles or so..she cant chase you if sh lives that far..

Just tell her you are going to hang with a friend..

 

[Yachtie]

yeah, it's do-able, within 50 miles usually. i travel for work quite a bit. we met in my town, where she has other friends and visits often. i actually think the distance has helped take 'er ahead slow.

 

[blueline]

Letting her know other girls are chasing is done via implication and talking with a certain aloofness about girls that are hitting on you. The former and most powerful way of letting her know there is competition is something you can't really verbalize. You need to go out with her and have some girlfriends just about as attractive as she is try to flirt with you. Obviously, they have to be actually interested in you for that to happen, and this means you are indeed a catch.

The latter is done just by talking about girls from work, school, some intramural sport, etc. Don't go overboard and say that you'd bang them if you were single, but you know, just mention them.

Having female friends never hurts. Putting girls that are into you in the friends zone will light a fire under her ass. These girls will always behave a little bit differently around you and she'll notice it.

If you want to be polyamorous, this will of course light a fire under her ass. Date multiple girls at the same time.

 

[Yachtie]

ok, dropped a hint when we were chatting, and she said "trying to make me jealous, Yachtie?"

I should've seen that coming. luckily we were chatting about other stuff, so i kept on talking about the other stuff too and never acknowledged that she said that.... was this right?

 

[Yachtie]

another update:

later in the conversation, on a different topic,
she said "You're gonna miss a good party, Yachtie."
me: "trying to make me jealous HB7?"

btw -- the whole HB# thing is only relevant. I'm trying to tone down the numbers bc there's always someone hotter. i think guys drive those numbers up by inside factors, whereas I think the number represents mostly outside factors. maybe I'm wrong.

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

I saw that coming, wish I had caught this earlier.

Telling a woman outright that you have all these women chasing you is a douche move. It's right up there with "Nah, this is just my weekend party hole; I spend most of my time out on my horse farm."

Don't worry about how you should act with a woman. Acting is a slippery slope, we should only worry about BECOMING this man we create in our imagination.

That's what I do. My focus is on growing my character, growing my wealth, creating my place in the businessworld, becoming a leader in my community, and working out/physical activity. There's a whole laundry list of things I want to do beyond that, but first things first.

IMO, don't worry about what you should say; focus on what you should be.

 

[Yachtie]

The transcript and her attempt to create jealousy too? Or some kind of test.

here it is, in its entirety just to clear it up if you care to read. This is probably the longest gchat conversation we ever had, mostly because she's bored at work today. I probably should've signed out sooner -- the whole conversation spread out with some pauses is about 1.5 hours! I'm stupid for letting it go that long, I know. But, I'm curious to hear if I handled it right. I sincerely appreciate your responses and time spent reading it.

HB7: so how was the party?

[Yada ... about irrelevant stuff and short on details re the party]

me: last night kinda turned awkward when the friend who i went with got drunk and tried to get me to stay with her in the city, but i dodged it
HB7: trying to make me jealous [Yachtie]?
HB7: haha

[other irrelevant stuff for about a minute or two – we were matched in response time, I was a bit slower]

HB7: so you're missing a fun party tonight
me: trying to make me jealous HB7?
HB7: you should be jealous
me: i'm sure you'll have a good time
me: i'm pretty happy to be home [5 hours away] this week .....tree, fireplace, mom cooking
HB7: yeah that sounds cozy
me: but it's been pretty Hard falling asleep this week
HB7: whys that?
me: because last week [when we were together all week in another city hotel] is still on my mind
me: you know, warm weather, sand and views of [city] skyline
HB7: it was pretty great but those aren’t exactly stressful thoughts that should keep you from sleeping
me: you don't read between the lines well do you
HB7: ha
HB7: i know i know
me: it's ok, it's kind of endearing
HB7: kind of
me: kind of

[talking and flirting about other stuff spread out over time]

HB7: i have to go to a personal training session at 3:30 and I’m dreading it!
HB7: nice
HB7: this guy has been harassing me everytime i go to the gym. i might cancel
me: a guy who works there?
me: don't you pay the guy to harass you to work harder though?
HB7: he works there
HB7: um i guess
me: how does he harass you?
Me: wait - he harasses you to exercise? or flirtatious?
HB7: i just cant go to the gym and do my own thing without having a long conversation with this guy every time and he's emailed me like five times and called twice
me: flirting wise or exercise wise?
HB7: i think both
me: is he a trainer? tell him you'll talk to him at the gym
HB7: so i kinda want to get the session out of the way, so he cant keep bringing it up
me: maybe you can get some free training out of it
HB7: maybe
HB7: he already gave me two months free and no initiation fee
me: say to him "are you saying i'm fat?"
HB7: ha ok ill say that today
me: is the attention flattering though
me: he's either trying to sell his service or himself or a combination
HB7: ehh i guess. we'll see today
me: you called it harassing though
HB7: he's a bit aggressive
me: probably from the roids
me: well, at least you know he'll be giving you his undivided attention during the session
HB7: haha true i have that to look forward to
me: how long of a session did they give you
HB7: i think/hope its only 30 mins
HB7: but i have a few
me: well that's good, i like the motivation from those, and the classes. the classes are like competition
HB7: true and you an check everyone out
me: isn't that why you go to the gym
HB7: why do you think i switched from my previous all female gym. although i have awkwardly ran into three different guys ive dated
me: well, if they're all agro, it's probably from the roids, and you know what that does
HB7: no why dont you tell me
me: not important
HB7: ha
me: you really went to an all female gym
HB7: yeah stupid
me: did an insecure boyfriend give you that subscription?
HB7: ha i did have a bf at the time but no
me: ohh, you didn't trust yourself, i see
HB7: so intuitive
HB7: it does kinda feel like a meatmarket. everybody checking each other out
me: distracting, right
HB7: yes

[I ended it saying I was going to lunch, and didn’t wait for a goodbye]

After re-reading this, perhaps her last topic here was kind of like her talking to another girl and i was drifting dangerously into a friend zone or advice situation. I initially took it like her trying to make me jealous or testing me, so i answered rather than shrugged it off. Thoughts?

 

[Iceberg]

I'm not going to trash you because I understand this board is here to help people get better at things. But you could analyze the original Don Juan's conversations and probably pick holes in them. So there's no point in me reading yours.

Stop analyzing and stop doing. While you're sitting here, trying to evaluate every conversation, you could have said, "Hey. I'll be in town next week. Let's hang out." You go hang out with her, make some moves, and get an answer right on the spot whether or not this is progressing sexually.

All this "Do my GChats make me sound like a challenge" topics, could just be eliminated by making a move. I mean, you already met the girl. She knows you. So what are you hoping to do with these conversations? You think she'll get horny for you once you "get to know each other better"? She'll get horny over the moves you make. Not your words.

 

[SharinganUser]

I'm not going to trash you because I understand this board is here to help people get better at things. But you could analyze the original Don Juan's conversations and probably pick holes in them. So there's no point in me reading yours.

Stop analyzing and stop doing. While you're sitting here, trying to evaluate every conversation, you could have said, "Hey. I'll be in town next week. Let's hang out." You go hang out with her, make some moves, and get an answer right on the spot whether or not this is progressing sexually.

All this "Do my GChats make me sound like a challenge" topics, could just be eliminated by making a move. I mean, you already met the girl. She knows you. So what are you hoping to do with these conversations? You think she'll get horny for you once you "get to know each other better"? She'll get horny over the moves you make. Not your words.

QFT

This text conversation reminded of that scene from Blades Of Glory where Jimmy is talking to Katie on the phone and they are getting told what to say.

 

[Yachtie]

moves made. f-closed several times already. just trying to maintain challenge/etc going forward to keep her interest up while we are apart for two weeks. thanks for your responses.

 

[Shivastorm_88]

You don't.

If she really "does have a challenge" it will show in your attitude around her (more detached, more willing to walk away due to other options, etc.) Unless she is an idiot, she will figure it out, or she will ask you subtle questions to validate her assumptions.

If she doesn't "have a challenge" and you want to fake it, don't. Instead of putting efforts in figuring out how to fake it, put efforts in making it happen. Obviously it won't happen instantly and it'll probably be too late for this girl in particular, but in the long run it will be worth it.

 

[betheman]

"HB7: why do you think i switched from my previous all female gym. although i have awkwardly ran into three different guys ive dated"

oh ffs!!!!
she is beating you hands down man, your being outplayed

 

[Yachtie]

even by acting like i didn't care?
maybe i didn't. i guess i'll go no contact for a couple days, and i'm def not bringing this subject up again.

she said a while ago that she likes me bc i don't play games, and I thought to myself she doesn't know her own good and 2.) i'm not that good at this i guess, haha.
a mutual friend of ours told me she was chased by "all the guys" in high school and college, so she's def got experience.
wasn't this either her testing me or trying to make me jealous? maybe i just should have cut the convo off a long time ago and told her to take her girl problems to one of her girl friends.

 

[Yachtie]

on another note, i know she has some interest based on her random texts and thing she says when we are together. the trouble is when we're not together, and i admit that it's probably my fault. i'm trying to spin a few other plates, but this one is the one i want LTR with so it's not easy working against oneitis.

she's pointed out the things she likes about me -- mostly social, career, personality, endowment. and the sex is awesome and always different, including occasional random risky places. i'll also admit that i need to work on my game in person too, but it seems to be working being that we have sex almost every time we hang out. maybe that could get old too -- i dunno, that's why i try to mix it up.

 

[betheman]

"a mutual friend of ours told me she was chased by "all the guys" in high school and college, so she's def got experience.
wasn't this either her testing me or trying to make me jealous?"

attention Ho alert!!!!!!

get what you can while you can, invest no more

 

[Yachtie]

despite this, i know that her previous boyfriends were five years (first four being college), 2 yrs, and 2 yrs. she lived with the last two. since breaking up with the last one when he cheated (a little under a year), she's been dating.

i hear ya on the AW alert. good obs, should have been more obvious to me.

 

[Big Overseas 1]

If she's a new girl, just be extra manly around her friends. If you do it right, her friends will make her jealous for you by flirting with you in front of her.