I was posting in another thread and I really want to see some discussion on this topic. I know this topic will get heated so let's just discuss it with level heads. We want ALL opinions. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectic)
Here was my reply to a thread on chemistry trumping hypergamy. Essentially the OP was arguing that if you have chemistry with a woman that you can defeat her biological urges for hypergamy and cheating.
You can read it in full here : http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/hypergamy-is-an-illusion.227132/
More excellent reading on the topic : http://therationalmale.com/2011/08/23/schedules-of-mating/
This will be very rant like as I'm just kind of mental dumping while I'm thinking about it. So sorry if it's incoherent.
Our brains will tend to lean to binary thinking as it's a neat way to tie up ideas. Binary choices are almost always an illusion. Everything sits on a scale. So this got me thinking about these potential idealistic relationships. As someone who really only wants one of these idealistic relationships, but accepts that red pill trumps my idealism, I find the cognitive dissonance interesting.
When I finally departed from the alpha lifestyle of banging chicks with no purpose, I was disheartened. Firstly because I knew I didn't want that lifestyle. I wanted a nice woman. A confidant and a partner in crime. The **** women say they want but seem to happily discard on a whim. Secondly because my experiences through those five years CONFIRMED most of what I had been reading here. That was disappointing because I didn't want it to be true. I still don't. My biggest realization came after splitting up a marriage. Something I regret to this day. (I just banged her, I didn't ask her to leave her husband but she did and chased me with interest I haven't seen since.)
But the problem with reality is it doesn't care what you want. There are kids starving to death on the other side of the world for no real reason. We have the resources to stop it, we don't. I wish it wasn't true but it is.
So I went full MGTOW for eighteen months. Holy **** did I start loving life again. I focused on my hobbies, my friendships, my career and my mental health. At the end of it I came out the happiest I think I've ever been. I practiced Buddhism to the point that my anxiety and depression all but disappeared, I have incredibly mental control. I have been learning the piano, programming and a collection of amazing friends for life.
In comes the woman from the thread I already posted. **** it, it felt like fate I thought. Let's try this as cautiously idealistic. For those that didn't read the thread it fit perfectly with one of those romance stories. Too good to be true. It was. Three months and her switch flipped in less than a week. Luckily I was mentally prepared for it or I could have gone back a whole bunch of steps.
So as men we like to assume we're purely logical creatures. Compared to women, we are. Does that mean we strictly are? I don't think so.
We have a number of traits that go against this concept. We value physical beauty to an extreme. We have sexual urges that constantly get us into trouble. We are aggressive and violent. None of these things are particularly useful to us in day to day life. The point I'm trying to make is that if you can see these traits in yourself, then you have to accept that women likely have evolutionary traits as well. How many of you have dated an ugly woman because you had chemistry? I'm talking like butt ugly no guy would touch? Maybe some.
But that's because we are logical beings who can see value in things. I think it's because we are the evolutionary problem solvers. We see things have a purpose and if that's a sweet woman by your side making you happy then that has value. As much as I want to believe women think about relationships in the same way, I have yet to witness it. From my relationships and talking to women (I talk to a LOT of women, I find them fascinating creatures), we have different subconscious ideas on value in relationships.
So for those of us who desire these relationships, what do we do? Accept our fate? Hope we hit the lottery? Or are we wrong about women? Is game screwing us? Do you think there's a level we can connect with women where we can bypass these biological mechanisms and get them to value us LOGICALLY as a person? Maybe that's some sort of ultimate game. Instead of using her biology to create attraction, trying to bypass it all and create a logical and meaningful connection to us as a person in the world. Is that possible? It certainly doesn't seem so.
Okay, think my rant is over. Please be respectful of all ideas. I'm looking forward to some discussion.
Here was my reply to a thread on chemistry trumping hypergamy. Essentially the OP was arguing that if you have chemistry with a woman that you can defeat her biological urges for hypergamy and cheating.
You can read it in full here : http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads/hypergamy-is-an-illusion.227132/
More excellent reading on the topic : http://therationalmale.com/2011/08/23/schedules-of-mating/
This will be very rant like as I'm just kind of mental dumping while I'm thinking about it. So sorry if it's incoherent.
When I got to the end of my reply, my last line struck a chord with me. Essentially most of the disagreements on this forum really do come down to idealism. Some of us want to believe that as sentient beings who are aware of our actions, that women are aware of their actions and that some idealistic relationship is therefore possible. As I said in my reply, I believe it is possible, but so statistically irrelevant that it's as likely as winning the lottery. Most of the information in the bible does not align with idealism. Which is why we end up trying to kill that desire.
Our brains will tend to lean to binary thinking as it's a neat way to tie up ideas. Binary choices are almost always an illusion. Everything sits on a scale. So this got me thinking about these potential idealistic relationships. As someone who really only wants one of these idealistic relationships, but accepts that red pill trumps my idealism, I find the cognitive dissonance interesting.
When I finally departed from the alpha lifestyle of banging chicks with no purpose, I was disheartened. Firstly because I knew I didn't want that lifestyle. I wanted a nice woman. A confidant and a partner in crime. The **** women say they want but seem to happily discard on a whim. Secondly because my experiences through those five years CONFIRMED most of what I had been reading here. That was disappointing because I didn't want it to be true. I still don't. My biggest realization came after splitting up a marriage. Something I regret to this day. (I just banged her, I didn't ask her to leave her husband but she did and chased me with interest I haven't seen since.)
But the problem with reality is it doesn't care what you want. There are kids starving to death on the other side of the world for no real reason. We have the resources to stop it, we don't. I wish it wasn't true but it is.
So I went full MGTOW for eighteen months. Holy **** did I start loving life again. I focused on my hobbies, my friendships, my career and my mental health. At the end of it I came out the happiest I think I've ever been. I practiced Buddhism to the point that my anxiety and depression all but disappeared, I have incredibly mental control. I have been learning the piano, programming and a collection of amazing friends for life.
In comes the woman from the thread I already posted. **** it, it felt like fate I thought. Let's try this as cautiously idealistic. For those that didn't read the thread it fit perfectly with one of those romance stories. Too good to be true. It was. Three months and her switch flipped in less than a week. Luckily I was mentally prepared for it or I could have gone back a whole bunch of steps.
So as men we like to assume we're purely logical creatures. Compared to women, we are. Does that mean we strictly are? I don't think so.
We have a number of traits that go against this concept. We value physical beauty to an extreme. We have sexual urges that constantly get us into trouble. We are aggressive and violent. None of these things are particularly useful to us in day to day life. The point I'm trying to make is that if you can see these traits in yourself, then you have to accept that women likely have evolutionary traits as well. How many of you have dated an ugly woman because you had chemistry? I'm talking like butt ugly no guy would touch? Maybe some.
But that's because we are logical beings who can see value in things. I think it's because we are the evolutionary problem solvers. We see things have a purpose and if that's a sweet woman by your side making you happy then that has value. As much as I want to believe women think about relationships in the same way, I have yet to witness it. From my relationships and talking to women (I talk to a LOT of women, I find them fascinating creatures), we have different subconscious ideas on value in relationships.
So for those of us who desire these relationships, what do we do? Accept our fate? Hope we hit the lottery? Or are we wrong about women? Is game screwing us? Do you think there's a level we can connect with women where we can bypass these biological mechanisms and get them to value us LOGICALLY as a person? Maybe that's some sort of ultimate game. Instead of using her biology to create attraction, trying to bypass it all and create a logical and meaningful connection to us as a person in the world. Is that possible? It certainly doesn't seem so.
Okay, think my rant is over. Please be respectful of all ideas. I'm looking forward to some discussion.