Idea on the "I just want to meet a nice guy" notion.

[Alex DeLarge]

Hey guys, I just got this rad idea on the typical slogan from a female who doesn't know what she wants. You know what I mean.. The typical hot girl who claims to want a nice guy, but always tosses them aside for the macho bad boy.

These girls DO in fact want a nice guy..

BUT they want a guy who is NICE but at the same time, a strong masculine figure. As we all know, the typical "nice guy" is usually needy (verbally and physically) and lacking in social skills. Think about the times when men were men such as John Wayne. He was a good guy, and he held his world together upon his confidence.

THIS is what women truly mean by "I want a nice guy" They are thinking of the interaction in terms of verbal communication, but not voicing their need for the nice guy to also be confident and masculine as well (seen via body language). This is often where women seem to be mixed up in what they truly want.

Just an idea that popped into my head this moment and I figured I'd share it!

 

[r0cky]

I've learned that everybody likes nice people, not just girls. But they only like them as friends.

What women love is GENUINE guys. Guys who are real around them and everyone else. Guys who dont put a false front of "nice" and who dont try to make others like them.

 

[AlexDP]

Being nice without voicing your own opinions and telling the cold hard truth at times is often perceived as trying to deceive people. Women also think you're being nice because you want something in return. That's why sometimes being nice isn't nice at all.

 

[rum]

You mean the "Knight in Shining Armor Type"

nah, they don't want that either. Believe me there are plenty of well put together nice guys getting dumped left and right by unappreciative women that don't know what they want.

women are looking for turds to polish, they like abusers, they like chaos and uncertainty...it goes well with their illogical, emotional world view.

 

[ArcBound]

I don't know which John Wayne you are talking about, but he was mostly badass not a nice guy lol

 

[Changing13]

Alex,

You can be "nice" without being the "nice guy." Check out "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. You are right when you say that most "nice guys" are deceitful in their motives. They look for gratification in their "giving." It isn't truly being nice, it is doing nice things while looking for reciprocation. You can do nice things, but, you cannot expect anything in return.

The key is being a well rounded person who has a backbone and spine. Having your own opinion and not being a supplicating needy wuss. Women want men. Men that know who they are and what they want. They want to be lead. I think you can be nice if that is who you are. I think that you just have to find the medium of doing whatever you want without expecting anything in return.

I'm sick of hearing guys say that they put so much into their relationships. They believe that since they are giving so much that they should get that in return. That is the nice guy fallacy.

As George Costanza said, "If everything I am doing is wrong, the opposite has to be right." Look out for you first. If she wants to come along for the ride, so be it. If not then so be it.

I never feel bad for the woman that says she is being abused by her jerk boyfriend or husband. If they were truly hurt over it, they would leave. They don't though. You would think that they would get fed up. They feed the beast. Why change if it is working?

It is so flawed, but, it is the nature of the where we are at. They make their own decisions and who they spend their time with. If they want a ****, there are plenty of those out there.

Stand your ground and embrace where you stand. As long as you know who are and what makes you happy, then that is when you can truly find happiness within yourself. I believe the key is knowing yourself first and then allowing anyone else to come along for the ride.

 

[shizz702]

I've had much success emodying this advice.

Bottom line is no chick in her right mind wants to be with an azzhole, and at the same time they don't want to be with a doormat either.

It is best to embrace the best of both worlds, being both the jerk and the nice guy, and when you mix these two together the result is the alpha.

An alpha knows how to treat a lady but also doesn't take any BS, and stands his ground.

This is the way to be.

 

[zekko]

The term "nice guy" is practically worthless, it could mean anything. Especially when a girl uses it.

It could mean a boring wimp. It could mean a genuinely nice person. It could mean a bad boy who is really a good person underneath. I wouldn't put too much stock in this nice/jerk thing. Just be a man, your best self, and let the chips fall where they may.

 

[Aaron B]

why do we need to continually debate what a "nice guy" is?

 

[loveshogun]

Moment of truth:

Most "nice guys" aren't actually nice. They're trying to be "nice" because they think women want "nice guys," and are really just putting up that front to try to get p*ssy.

These men are spineless p*ssies.

If you're a genuinely nice guy, there's nothin' wrong with that.

But there's a big difference between actually being a nice guy (the kind of person who sticks up for his real friends, doesn't try to **** people over just to get ahead, isn't a selfish prick, etc), and the kinda guy who acts like a slave around women because he thinks that'll get him into their pants.

 

[carnivale2052]

Moment of truth:

Most "nice guys" aren't actually nice. They're trying to be "nice" because they think women want "nice guys," and are really just putting up that front to try to get p*ssy.

These men are spineless p*ssies.

If you're a genuinely nice guy, there's nothin' wrong with that.

But there's a big difference between actually being a nice guy (the kind of person who sticks up for his real friends, doesn't try to **** people over just to get ahead, isn't a selfish prick, etc), and the kinda guy who acts like a slave around women because he thinks that'll get him into their pants.

I know a guy like this who openly admits that he acts nice because "it's the only way a woman will possibly notice me." I keep telling him that women won't notice him anyway, probably can tell he's being fake nice or at best view him as the gay friend.

 

[coochieman]

Zekko put it best....

 

[ananursing]

It could mean a tedious wimp. It could mean a truly awesome individual. It could mean a bad boy who is really a excellent individual beneath. I wouldn't put too much inventory in this nice/jerk factor. Just be a man, your best self, and let the snacks drop where they may.