STOP FREAKING OUT! RELAX! The worst that can happen...
So you see a hot chick and you walk over... that's good.
You figure "I'll think of something on the way over." That's good, too.
You get there and you haven't thought of anything to say. That's not bad. That can be your ice breaker...
V: *EC'ing target, saying nothing, uncomfortable pause*
Target: "uh... hi?"
V: "AHAHAHHaha... hi! ahaha!"
Target: "duh. OMG." *nervous, uncomfortable*
V: "hahaha... I thought that I would think of something to say on the way over here, but I was too busy looking at you to think of anything." *slap forehead* "Thanks... uh..." *kino arm* "what's your name?"
Target: (maybe a smile at this point) "HB"
V: *Stomp around with arms outstretched like Frankenstein, eyes bugged out like in a trance* "Must... talk... to... HB... ahahah.... Thanks, HB, for snapping me out of it." *playful back-handed tap to upper arm*
Target: "OMG, you're such a freak!"
V: *outstretch arms again* "Must... get... called... a... freak... FREEEAAAK!" *Then stop, get super stoic and serious, lock eyes* "HB, you're into freaks - that's why I came over."
Target: "What!!!???"
V: "Did I stu-stu-stutter? Oh, you're wondering how I know you're into freaks, easy, you're wearing red shoes." *Pulls up chair, sits down*
Target: "red shoes?"
V: "haha, I'm just making stuff up. What's your name again?"
Target: "OMG, I just told you! HB."
V: "I know, I just like hearing you say it... Mmmm!"
Whatever, you get the idea. That was just some freestyle off the top of my head. It doesn't matter what you say. What matters is you are up in their face. They know what's going on and will be as nervous, if not more nervous.
The chick in the shoe joint next to you? Easy.
Reach up and poke her arm with one finger.
Oh my god, you say?
When you looks at you like you are a freak, say "boo!" or "that worked?" or "oops, I thought you were someone else." or "I'll give you a minute to figure out what's going on here." with a sly friendly smile. Now watch... stay relaxed and calm... just watch and smile. How she reacts from there is your cue to proceed or not. If she's interested, she'll giggle or something. If she's weirded out, you can say something like "I was just seeing if you were real." From there, if she asks "what?" she is keeping the convo going and IS INTERESTED IN WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY! If she walks off... hey, you touched a hottie.
A good idea is to go up and ask THEIR name. "Hey, *tap or nudge* what's your name?" They don't care what your name is, so don't offer it until they ask. From there, you can simply talk about their name until they ask yours. Hell, ask for their phone number right away for fun... it will at least spark a convo.
Approaching is the simplest part - maintaining your composure and staying relaxed is the hard part.
Blurt out the first silly thing that pops into your head and roll with it from there. It really works the best.
"Hey, what's your shoe size?"
"What are YOU doing here!?!" *accusing tone, then shut up and let them flounder for a while before you tell them you are just messing with them*
"Knock it off."
"Hooray for booze!"
"WOW!" - "What?" - "Oh, nothing. Nevermind" - "No, tell me!" - "Really. Nothing. I just felt like coming over here and saying 'wow'."
"Hey, quick, give me a dollar! Quick... I need a dollar!" - "What! Why?" - "No reason. Just seeing if you'd give me a dollar."
*grab napkin or straw off bar, walk over to hottie and hand it to her* (a buh-zillion things can come of that, make sure she talks first - that way she'll get self-conscious like she has a booger hanging out of her nose or something)
If you are out being fun and having fun - just blurt out random sh!t and roll with it. I've started doing it to entertain MYSELF. I have found it fun to watch women squirm with anxiety when you put them on the spot... their heads nearly explode from trying to figure out what the fux you are talking about sometimes. The trick is to touch them right off the bat and keep touching them. It gives them the feeling you are 'safe' and not actually a 'psycho'. Oh yeah, and smile a lot. (you should be anyway because it's funny watching the women squirm)
