I Your Need Some Help On This !

[ashman1]

Guys ! OK
theres this girl im into , we used to see each other at this annual event all the time , and back then i was your average geek , ( since im into comics , id usually end up talking about that. ) and she was into it, and like an AFC id start to ramble on like a lunatic , but she continued to talk to me any way year after year.

well we kinda lost touch , she went off to college , and i went and started my carrer. but i never really stopped thinking about her . the other day i came across her phone number ( yea . even as a AFC i still got the number ! ) i want to call her but , that old fear keeps me from calling her .

i want to know , how do i overcome this and what can i use to " Break the ice " over the phone with her ? , please HELP ME ! -
N:nervous:

 

[Evolution]

Your past has no real bearing on who you are today. In another lifetime, I was a nerd too, and I'am not afraid to talk about who I was then. I accepted who I was, but I've evolved past that.

When you talk to this girl, no let the past hold you back. If your uncomfortable with the old you, then don't bring it up, act as if it were a fresh start, and you meet her for the first time.

In fact, since you knew her, there should be not problem with "breaking the ice", there is no ice. But, let her see the person you've become, and go from there. There's no more reason to dwell on the past, as kids we didn't know **** back then, so forgive and move on.

 

[ashman1]

Okay, nice . but it was only two years ago.

 

[CORVETTE06]

find her on facebook/myspace its less creepy

and she will see how u changed by viewing ur page...

 

[ashman1]

I tried . she dosent have a page on any of them .

besides i only use myspace to promote my business.

 

[ashman1]

How do i Break out of the " friend " position ? ( just in case im in there , and i dont know it ! )

 

[Warrior74]

You are already out of the friend position. It's been 2 years. All you have to do is show her the new you, and don't revert to the old you.

Also don't spend a assload of time on the phone if you do get a hold of her. Tell her you ran across her number and wanted to see what she was up to these days. Ask her to meet you for coffee/drinks and a chat. Don't do your chatting on the phone! If she says she can't met, set a different date. Don't do your chatting on the phone. I repeat do a bunch of chatting on the phone. Set yourself a 10 min limit or so....and get off the phone. Call back later if you have to. But don't linger on the phone. Can't stress that enough.

At coffee, or drinks or what ever, Get a huge hug off the bat, maybe a kiss on the cheek and let her talk about how her life has been. Space out giving her a big info dump of your life. Let her try to figure this new you out. Keep your frame, pull kino. Talk about how you guys had a great connection and how its great to feel it's still there.

I've done this before with an old friend who turned into a new lover. Good luck youngbuck.

 

[ashman1]

I bow to you master !

I know i am going to see her in August at another one of our annual events .
but i dont want to wait til then to spark that up .

 

[ashman1]

Update : Well . . .

You are already out of the friend position. It's been 2 years. All you have to do is show her the new you, and don't revert to the old you.

Also don't spend a assload of time on the phone if you do get a hold of her. Tell her you ran across her number and wanted to see what she was up to these days. Ask her to meet you for coffee/drinks and a chat. Don't do your chatting on the phone! If she says she can't met, set a different date. Don't do your chatting on the phone. I repeat do a bunch of chatting on the phone. Set yourself a 10 min limit or so....and get off the phone. Call back later if you have to. But don't linger on the phone. Can't stress that enough.

Great advise : warrior74 !

Well i called her , she answered the phone , it went exactly like this :

Her : hello ?

Me : Hello ! Can I Speak to ****** Please ?

Her : This is her speaking . . . .

Me : hey ! how're you doing ?

Her : fine . . .

Me : do you know who this is ?

Her: No who ?

Me : It's ( inserted my name here )

Her : oh HI how are you ?

Me : im great ! i just got back into town and i was calling everybody & catching up ( lie ) and i came across your phone number and wanted to see how you were ! I hope im not calling at a bad time . . . .

Her : well no , im just headed off to work .

Me: oh , well is there a good time i could call you back, and we could catch up ?

Her: yeah, you can call me whenever you feel like it !

Me: Uh, okay how's saturday ?

Her : um , i may not be home , but if so leave me a voicemail

Me: O.k. i'll talk to you later . . .

Her: O.k. , it was great hearing from you ! .

Me: it was great hearing from you too - Bye .

Her : bye .

So what do you guys think ? did that go well or did i blow it again ? - N


or ?

 

[EFFORT]

Great advise : warrior74 !

Well i called her , she answered the phone , it went exactly like this :

Her : hello ?

Me : Hello ! Can I Speak to ****** Please ?

Her : This is her speaking . . . .

Me : hey ! how're you doing ?

Her : fine . . .

Me : do you know who this is ?

Her: No who ?

Me : It's ( inserted my name here )

Her : oh HI how are you ?

Me : im great ! i just got back into town and i was calling everybody & catching up ( lie ) and i came across your phone number and wanted to see how you were ! I hope im not calling at a bad time . . . . no point in saying this. If your higher value than her then your worth her time even if it is "a bad time"

Her : well no , im just headed off to work .

Me: oh , well is there a good time i could call you back, and we could catch up ? You sound like your sorry for calling her, stop being so sorry and just talk to her she doesn't want to be treated like some princess

Her: yeah, you can call me whenever you feel like it !

Me: Uh, okay how's saturday ? stop asking for permission, just call her when you want to call her

Her : um , i may not be home , but if so leave me a voicemail meaning she won't be answering

Me: O.k. i'll talk to you later . . .

Her: O.k. , it was great hearing from you ! .

Me: it was great hearing from you too - Bye .

Her : bye .

So what do you guys think ? did that go well or did i blow it again ? - N


or ?

Check bold....i think you clearly told her that she is above you and your beneath her.....hate to put it to you like that, but the guys shes having sex with aren't having phone conversations with her that look like that.

 

[ashman1]

okay. how do i rectify the situation ?

 

[Evolution]

Okay, nice . but it was only two years ago.

doesn't matter I've talked to friends a yr ago, and friends I haven't seen in 5-10 yrs even. Doesn't matter.

 

[DonJuan11]

Great advise : warrior74 !

Well i called her , she answered the phone , it went exactly like this :

Her : hello ?

Me : Hello ! Can I Speak to ****** Please ?

Her : This is her speaking . . . .

Me : hey ! how're you doing ?

Her : fine . . .

Me : do you know who this is ?

Her: No who ?

Me : It's ( inserted my name here )

Her : oh HI how are you ?

Me : im great ! i just got back into town and i was calling everybody & catching up ( lie ) and i came across your phone number and wanted to see how you were ! I hope im not calling at a bad time . . . .

Her : well no , im just headed off to work .

Me: oh , well is there a good time i could call you back, and we could catch up ?

Her: yeah, you can call me whenever you feel like it !

Me: Uh, okay how's saturday ?

Her : um , i may not be home , but if so leave me a voicemail

Me: O.k. i'll talk to you later . . .

Her: O.k. , it was great hearing from you ! .

Me: it was great hearing from you too - Bye .

Her : bye .

So what do you guys think ? did that go well or did i blow it again ? - N


or ?

I think you're ok. I wouldn't have said "I just got back ito town and I'm calling everyone I know" She hasn't asked whether you've been out of town, so you shouldn't be volunteering the info to her. And calling everyone you know...it doesn't make her feel special. What if she's girl #16 on your list? It doesn't give her weak knees to think about that.

Otherwise I may have played around with it some more but it seems ok.

 

[Warrior74]

Your okay man. When you feel ready give her a ring and ask her to meet you to catch up. Listen to what these other guys said...some valid points. Don't be afraid.

 

[ashman1]

I feel what everybody is sayin . it's Cool.

 

[EFFORT]

okay. how do i rectify the situation ?

Create a life of abundance.....read the plate theory post