I work for my Mom - Please help!

[DJArlington]

Okay guys here's the deal. I'm pretty well educated (BBA, MS, working on my MBA from Top 50 school, etc.) , 30 years old, and have worked for great Fortune 500 companies. Roughly in the middle of last year, I joined my mom's software business. She's an entrepreneur, and is very intuitive, I'm learning a lot from her.

Now here's the problem - It's been 9 months now and I'm starting to feel like I'm losing my independence or starting to care about what a potential girlfriend / wife would think about me working with / for my mom. I am supposed to overtake the company, but that won't happen for another year or so. The potential with this company is amazing, and if I do it right and don't give up (because selling your own product is quite a complex and time consuming tasks, plus it's draining as hell) - I will make a crap load of money.

I feel like this company isn't my own and I want to own MY own company, not someone else's. Even though I am inheriting it, it will truly never feel like my company because I don't see my mom retiring for another 8 years.

I'm just confused - I see money and indendence. I made a very fine living prior to joining her company, but the potential was nowhere near as bright as it is now.

DO you think women will look down on me for taking this opportunity ? WIll they think I'm not independent? I'm starting to feel like that they may have this impression.

As always, you guys are awesome. Peace.

 

[guru1000]

It doesn't matter what anyone thinks of your situation.

What matters is how YOU feel about YOUR situation.

However you feel will MANIFEST itself into either an INSECURITY or State of Confidence.

How you CHOOSE to Perceive your current predicament will sure enough have a direct impact on how others Perceive your situation.

So either ACCEPT it with Confidence or Walk Away from it.

You Choose.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear DJ,
Why worry what any woman thinks....You work in a family business Men have made it to the White House with this background....OK you want to run your own show...You can't do that without money to fuel the enginethat will run your new enterprise,not to mention experience of learning from a Lady who sounds quite remarkable...The next few years are your time of greatest energy so just hang in there...

 

[MikeEdward1973]

I think that women will look down on you for worrying what they think.

First, I think many women will think it's cool that your *mom* runs a software company, rather than your dad. Usually it's the other way around. I work in the software business, there are very few female CEO's.

Second, if you're worried about explaining it, just tell them the truth - you're mom runs a software company, and you're responsible for marketing/finance/sales, whatever it is that you're handling. They'll see that you & your mom are smart & successful. And by the way, you can wait until you know them pretty well before you tell them you're mom runs the place, if that makes you more comfortable.

But you're also talking about 2 separate issues - your ability to run the company successfully with your mom present, and how you can explain working for your mom to women.

Question: with all due respect, are you sure that you're not subconsciously creating, in your head, an issue with how you can explain this to women, in order to create an excuse for not wanting to work for/with your mom? I think there's something else going on here that you may not be addressing..

 

[DJArlington]

DJMike, thank you for your feedback- I am not trying to create another issue. I do sometimes freak out and say holy crap I'm 30 years and work for my mom; but obviously I AM THE ONE who made the choice to join the business. I can always back out, no hard feelings.

I just want to know if that I'm approaching a women (i.e. like this pharmacist that I think is cute) will it matter that I work for my mom? And the answer is no as long as I am confident in myself and comfortable with the situation. If I make it an issue, they will make it an issue.

 

[MikeEdward1973]

DJMike, thank you for your feedback- I am not trying to create another issue. I do sometimes freak out and say holy crap I'm 30 years and work for my mom; but obviously I AM THE ONE who made the choice to join the business. I can always back out, no hard feelings.

I just want to know if that I'm approaching a women (i.e. like this pharmacist that I think is cute) will it matter that I work for my mom? And the answer is no as long as I am confident in myself and comfortable with the situation. If I make it an issue, they will make it an issue.

Well, if that is the case, my ten cents would be that you don't actually have to even tell them. You can just say you're working for a software company, doing X. And they'll think that's great. I mean, if you get serious with her, you can tell her that your mom is CEO. After all, that would be a good problem to have, right?

 

[jophil28]

I think that women will look down on you for worrying what they think...

Very skilfully said ...a true paradox of male /female relations.

 

[jophil28]

I do sometimes freak out and say holy crap I'm 30 years and work for my mom;

It would only be a problem if you LIVED with her at home AND worked for her.
Now THAT would not be a good look.

From a woman's POV,working for your mom might be seen as an attractive advantage - your job is more secure . What kind of mom would let her own son go ?

 

[Jitterbug]

You're working in a successful family business and you're going to take over soon in just over a year. What do you have to worry about? Many guys would love to be in your position. You'd see dollar signs sparkling in women's eyes as they learn about it. That'd be your real problem.

DO you think women will look down on me for taking this opportunity ? WIll they think I'm not independent? I'm starting to feel like that they may have this impression.

Well don't overrate independence when it comes to attracting women. I'm independent, have my own place (been like that since 18), work full time and am trying to get a side business going, plus I've been supporting my retired mother for a few years. That last part has never got any girl's panties wet.

 

[hithard]

Okay guys here's the deal. I'm pretty well educated (BBA, MS, working on my MBA from Top 50 school, etc.) , 30 years old, and have worked for great Fortune 500 companies. Roughly in the middle of last year, I joined my mom's software business. She's an entrepreneur, and is very intuitive, I'm learning a lot from her.

Now here's the problem - It's been 9 months now and I'm starting to feel like I'm losing my independence or starting to care about what a potential girlfriend / wife would think about me working with / for my mom. I am supposed to overtake the company, but that won't happen for another year or so. The potential with this company is amazing, and if I do it right and don't give up (because selling your own product is quite a complex and time consuming tasks, plus it's draining as hell) - I will make a crap load of money.

I feel like this company isn't my own and I want to own MY own company, not someone else's. Even though I am inheriting it, it will truly never feel like my company because I don't see my mom retiring for another 8 years.

I'm just confused - I see money and indendence. I made a very fine living prior to joining her company, but the potential was nowhere near as bright as it is now.

DO you think women will look down on me for taking this opportunity ? WIll they think I'm not independent? I'm starting to feel like that they may have this impression.

As always, you guys are awesome. Peace.

You whinging mommys boy bastard, give me your problems