"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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I wonder if you boys can help here??

Lishy

Senior Don Juan
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Hiya



I broke up with my ex at the end of July because of a few reasons .. He acts childish and is unreliable (he is 39) he lets me down quite often and our communication is rubbish as he just does not listen and accuses me of breaking his balls when I am telling him how I feel.



A month later we met up and he told me he wants to change and will I just let him prove it to me. I agreed to try as he has many many lovely ways that I missed alot ... It lasted 2 weeks! He told me he would be around to my house and just didnt turn up and didnt answer the phone when I rang him. I ended it for good the next day as it was obvious that a leopard never changes it's spots!!



The thing is that he wont leave me alone. He is texting and calling all the time and I kept telling him to stop - I ignored him and I hsouted at him, I spoke to him and explained why but he just wont listen!



This is driving me stir crazy! I cant change my number as it is a work number and I cant block him as my phone nor phone company allow this!!



What the hell do I do??????????



The thing is that I do miss him BUT I know I dont want to be with him as he is too unreliable and is not there for me when I need him.



Helppppppppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Pathgen

Senior Don Juan
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Im guessing tell him to leave you alone or you will get the law involved. you dont want someone hanging around in your life and its obvious you are a very strong girl, but if he wont leave you alone you need to get external help to keep him away. I hope it doesn't go this far, but there are always restraining orders.

My guess though is that he will back off as soon as he gets a hint that you are serious about this. You let him come back which may lead him to believe that you might let him come back again, so thats why he isn't letting you go.
 

Lishy

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Thanks Pathgen, I have not given him one hint that I may go back, I have told him repeatedly that I do not want him back and that the feelings have died

I really dont want to go down the route of a restraining order as he is a decent guy, just not for me
 

Warrior74

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You should take him to coffee, or tea if your a bloody brit, and have a long heart to heart talk. Then at the end tell him your dating someone else and you want to just be friends with him. That should go down well and end all of your problems. Just talk like rational human beings. Go for it. ;P
 

DJDamage

Master Don Juan
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Your post is classic womenese for: " I relish the drama that this man is bringing to my life and I get a big kick out of sharing this story with everyone I know because it tells the whole world how I am so desired and I hope you envy me all".
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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jdon23

Don Juan
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You seem to be describing a boy, not a man. This boy is acting extremely possessive and does not have the ability to accept a loss. What you need to do is stop all contact with him. He WILL get the point eventually.

Go out, have fun, and don't worry about this guy. There are way better people out there for you who won't bring this much drama and stress to your life..
 
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