I've started to realize that the story or mindtalk and conversation I've been having with myself has not served me at all.
1) PAST HURTS First I was very upset about a girl who I thought was everything I wanted until she decided not to continue our relationship. The talk in my mind revolved around the idea that why bother with other women right now, you found a great one and she dumped you, so why even mess with other girls who aren't going to be as great.
To reframe this I have to create the idea that there are several outstanding women out there that I will meet soon. Notice not 1 but several.
2) CHANGE INDUCED LONELINESS- I am in a new town in a new job in a new career. This much change can't help but cause some stress. I am excited because the job is great and the place is very prestigious. But I don't know anyone here other than my co-workers. I ask myself why I brought this on myself.
To reframe this I amplify the excitement about the job and career and how great this will be on my resume and allow me to have my pick of jobs in the future. I amplify my excitement about all the new people I can and will meet including the sexy single women that will now replace the girl that was too scared to follow through on her plan to move here.
While it is strange to go out by myself, it is also very liberating. I can go where I want to. No better illustration of this occurred than Friday night when I wanted to go to a particular bar but was with coworkers who shot down the idea. When I'm not around them, I can go where I damn well please.
3) COMPLAINING ABOUT THE WEATHER, MY APARTMENT, ETC
I can't control the weather. Nor is their much I can do about the renovation on this apartment that leaves everyting outside my front door being a dump. I can however focus on studying when the weather sucks, going out when the weather is better and enjoying the change.
I'm going to add more to this thread later. This is for myself and others.
I read "Mindlines" by Robert Hal lthat David Deangelo suggested. It's very interesting in teaching reframing things. Questioning limiting beliefs is a very important thing.
1) PAST HURTS First I was very upset about a girl who I thought was everything I wanted until she decided not to continue our relationship. The talk in my mind revolved around the idea that why bother with other women right now, you found a great one and she dumped you, so why even mess with other girls who aren't going to be as great.
To reframe this I have to create the idea that there are several outstanding women out there that I will meet soon. Notice not 1 but several.
2) CHANGE INDUCED LONELINESS- I am in a new town in a new job in a new career. This much change can't help but cause some stress. I am excited because the job is great and the place is very prestigious. But I don't know anyone here other than my co-workers. I ask myself why I brought this on myself.
To reframe this I amplify the excitement about the job and career and how great this will be on my resume and allow me to have my pick of jobs in the future. I amplify my excitement about all the new people I can and will meet including the sexy single women that will now replace the girl that was too scared to follow through on her plan to move here.
While it is strange to go out by myself, it is also very liberating. I can go where I want to. No better illustration of this occurred than Friday night when I wanted to go to a particular bar but was with coworkers who shot down the idea. When I'm not around them, I can go where I damn well please.
3) COMPLAINING ABOUT THE WEATHER, MY APARTMENT, ETC
I can't control the weather. Nor is their much I can do about the renovation on this apartment that leaves everyting outside my front door being a dump. I can however focus on studying when the weather sucks, going out when the weather is better and enjoying the change.
I'm going to add more to this thread later. This is for myself and others.
I read "Mindlines" by Robert Hal lthat David Deangelo suggested. It's very interesting in teaching reframing things. Questioning limiting beliefs is a very important thing.