"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

I will not lose.

Handsfull

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 29, 2012
Messages
80
Reaction score
2
Had a ****ed up break up last Summer. August 23rd, it was final.

Heres the story if you're interested

This is how I dealt with it. Success, mistakes, and all.

There may be some out there who can take something positive from from this.

September 1-10
Started running for distance. 10, 15, 20 mile runs. Trained for a marathon. But also just running to stay sane. Running out negative energy. Also drinking a lot.
Went to Orlando to sleep with a girl I’ve wanted to dig out since college. Did so. She was absolutely insane though. HPD, no doubt. Tried killing herself 5 months prior. And she still looked me in the eye and said she thought I “had baggage”. Haha.
Sept 15-30
Started drinking and smoking heavily/ dosing Xanax. Extremely depressed and crazy. Talking incessantly about the break up. Running aroud 80 miles a week. Reading tons of books on psychology, relationships, etc…
Went down to a favorite watering hole. On the way, my buddy was like, “I have to holler at this chick.” So I say ok. We go meet with her, and she happens to be my ex’s new roommate. I find this out and end up fvcking her that night on my buddy’s porch. She texted me the next day, wanted to do it again. Said she had no loyalty to my ex cause they just met. I literally could have been banging this girl in the room next door to my ex if I wanted. I couldn’t do it. It was too painful, the connection the girl had to my ex. The whole time I would have just wanted to be in the next room with her, etc.
Oct 1st -31st
Started getting my **** together more. Signed up for a graduate class, refinanced my house. Began working on a big project for work. Went to the Appalachian Mountains and ran 22 miles. Joined a hot yoga class. The class helped me center myself and exhausted me to the point where rumination was minimalized, although it was still really bad.
Nov 1st- Jan 31st
Started seeing a girl regularly. Screwed a couple other girls, got rejected by several others. Went out west and ran the marathon in December. Resisted “hoovering” attempts / psychological warfare from my ex. Very painful though. The break up was not enough for her. She wanted to mutilate my emotional corpse.
Break from running. Started hitting the gym in earnest to get stronger for the spring running season.
Feb 1st –Present
Resisted yet more weak attempts by ex to hook me in. I was in great internal pain, although I don’t think she knew it. I never said anything to her.
Joined Sosuave for help and advice. Awesome stuff. Everyone who commented on my initial thread, thank you! Learned a lot.
Started seeing less of the girl I began seeing 3-4 months prior. Nailed the manager at my bank. Had a one night stand with some scenster chick with star tats around her neck.
Finishing work project that was started in November. By all accounts it is going to be a great success, so I'm proud of that for sure.
Refinance of my house should be complete soon. Once that happens I am buying an investment property in an up and coming part of town.

Now, it’s been nine moths or so and I’m starting to feel like myself again, somewhat. :box:
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

5string

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 18, 2010
Messages
2,348
Reaction score
116
Location
Standing At The Crossroads
Good for you. The only advice I'd have for you is to remain NC with the cluster b psycho nut job ex. You know why.

Good luck.
 

Handsfull

Don Juan
Joined
Feb 29, 2012
Messages
80
Reaction score
2
remotecontrol said:
Just read your original thread...been there years ago...still today I could get sucked back in and dragged back under..
These women are like a heroin addiction...people who come off smack always say that if they take another hit they will be hooked again, even 10 years later.
these women do stay with you like poison. So i know all about it...and these days its worse than ever the temptation to look at her facebook page and 5h17 cos its so easy and accessible to do, and it makes the cold turkey even harder to deal with.
This aint love...it is addiction...and like the worst drugs it will kill you.
Thankfully I do not live near my crazy ex..so i dont have to see her or know what she is up to...but i still do remember her...but luckily I always remember all her episodes...
I seriously recommend studying zen meditation and philosophy.
It has helped me enormously in life.
**** xanax...getting out in nature is great though.
Remember everytime your out in nature, the beauty of it, the magnificence of it all, the freedom, how every lung full of air is God given and life sustaining and how everything she represents is the opposite of all the good life sustaining natural things we should all be thankful for, she is just addiction and mystery..its not hard to remember the truth.

Once bitten twice shy anyhow.
Thanks for the feedback.

No doubt, being outside in the elements helps center you. Focusing on yourself, Rebuilding. I would go on those runs. I called them prayer runs. Essentially meditation. No iPod, no distrations. I'm also reading a book called "A Course In Miracles". Essential reading for those who want more out of life.
 
Top