So this girl I was talking who of course I like, but I wasn't going to be like all the other guys who see her and be like "Damn you fine!!" and crap, buying her flowers, the typical stuff a normal person would do. She's pretty hot, so a lot of people comment her and stuff and I didn't want to be like everyone else. So I kept it easy and whenever we would talk on the phone, I made sure I didn't spend more than 5-10 minutes. We went on a date before and she said she had a great time and she wanted to do it again. But then she tells me that she hates that it seems like I don't even like her. She says that she is wanting to get to know me but I don't even seem like I want to get to know her because when she calls me and I'm only on the phone for like 5 minutes and make an excuse to get off. She then tells me "there are so much other guys who would talk to her on the phone for hours, show her lots of interest, call her beautiful, etc. and I don't think it's fair to waste my time with you because you don't seem interested." Any advice on this?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I wasn't showing interest...it backfired.
- Thread starter baurman
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Dannyrt34
Master Don Juan
Yeah, you definitely missed the point of this site.
What you just explained above is exactly what you want to happen.
What you just explained above is exactly what you want to happen.
Dude_man123
Don Juan
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- Jul 17, 2007
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Dannyrt34 said:
Partially, but it doesn't make sense cause she now doesn't want to be with him. Unless, she just wants his reaction.
I am not very experienced, but I think next time you should try to show a little attraction, or interest through Kino. Just to let her know, without telling her.
Charm&Style
Master Don Juan
werd.Dannyrt34 said:
playing "hard to get" is not being a douche with a girl and showing no interest thinking it'll separate you from the rest of the guys that are after her and spark some magic.
we all love attention, we all love to be loved, and we all love people who give these two things to us, what sparks attraction is how you give it.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Naturally, you should be interested in your life above all else. That way, when you pay a compliment to a girl, she values it more. Now it's possible this girl senses you have interest in her yet despite this high interest, you don't give her much. That's not good.
Seduction naturally works when a girl thinks that the more work she puts into getting you, the more of your attention she can gain. She probably doesn't sense that from you. Like I said though, if your day is exciting, you have tons of goals and are living life passionately, doing fun things all the time, then this just comes naturally.
***
Let me expound further.
There is no such thing as "love." Well, there is but not how much of the world traditionally views it. There is no such thing as unconditional love. Anybody and everybody wants something from you. I don't care if it's your girlfriend, your wife, your dad. Whatever. Nobody cares about you. They only care about what you have to offer them.
Now, if you aren't being challenging, people aren't going to think you have much to offer since (naturally) your time is cheap. If, however, you are harder to get, naturally people are going to assume you have a lot more to offer (whether it be entertainment, humor, sex, social hookups, etc.) People (both guys and girls) want to hang out with you more once they see the existing social proof and the challenging behavior.
Now go apply this. And never stop doing it. Always put yourself first. Don't commit. Go travel the world and watch how gravitated people become to you because of your entertainment value. Or go fvck lots of chicks and see how all the others want you once they hear how good in bed you are. If you're young, don't give a crap about this one girl here; work on yourself. You shouldn't be wanting to get excitement from a relationship or other person but rather you should be initiating this excitement within yourself. It's a win-win.
Seduction naturally works when a girl thinks that the more work she puts into getting you, the more of your attention she can gain. She probably doesn't sense that from you. Like I said though, if your day is exciting, you have tons of goals and are living life passionately, doing fun things all the time, then this just comes naturally.
***
Let me expound further.
There is no such thing as "love." Well, there is but not how much of the world traditionally views it. There is no such thing as unconditional love. Anybody and everybody wants something from you. I don't care if it's your girlfriend, your wife, your dad. Whatever. Nobody cares about you. They only care about what you have to offer them.
Now, if you aren't being challenging, people aren't going to think you have much to offer since (naturally) your time is cheap. If, however, you are harder to get, naturally people are going to assume you have a lot more to offer (whether it be entertainment, humor, sex, social hookups, etc.) People (both guys and girls) want to hang out with you more once they see the existing social proof and the challenging behavior.
Now go apply this. And never stop doing it. Always put yourself first. Don't commit. Go travel the world and watch how gravitated people become to you because of your entertainment value. Or go fvck lots of chicks and see how all the others want you once they hear how good in bed you are. If you're young, don't give a crap about this one girl here; work on yourself. You shouldn't be wanting to get excitement from a relationship or other person but rather you should be initiating this excitement within yourself. It's a win-win.
A cat on a string.
Okay. I came to understand this concept when I read the analogy that I am about to plagarised...
It says that you gotta build attraction in the same way you play with a cat with a bit of string.
When you are teasing a cat with string you gotta keep teasing or the cat gets bored.
Thats why you don't act like all the other guys and play the kinda games you are trying to play.
If you didn't it would be akin to letting go of the string. The cat would get bored.
BUT! What you are doing is holding the string out of the cats reach.
You need to give the cat enough string to keep interested and deprive it of enough string to stay keen.
Sounds like you aint giving it enough string.
Lotta dudes think all you gotta do is play stupid games.
That only works if the girl likes you.
And you gotta make her feel good occasionally for her to like you.
JJ
Okay. I came to understand this concept when I read the analogy that I am about to plagarised...
It says that you gotta build attraction in the same way you play with a cat with a bit of string.
When you are teasing a cat with string you gotta keep teasing or the cat gets bored.
Thats why you don't act like all the other guys and play the kinda games you are trying to play.
If you didn't it would be akin to letting go of the string. The cat would get bored.
BUT! What you are doing is holding the string out of the cats reach.
You need to give the cat enough string to keep interested and deprive it of enough string to stay keen.
Sounds like you aint giving it enough string.
Lotta dudes think all you gotta do is play stupid games.
That only works if the girl likes you.
And you gotta make her feel good occasionally for her to like you.
JJ
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
If you've made arrangements to get together again, why is she complaining?
You have, haven't you?
The idea is "2 steps forward, 1 step back," not "1 step forward, 2 steps back."
You have, haven't you?
The idea is "2 steps forward, 1 step back," not "1 step forward, 2 steps back."
wheelin&dealin
Master Don Juan
Dannyrt34 said:
Just make sure that when you do see her you give her alot of physical attention.. ala Kino & eye contact.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.