RichardTheFrog
Banned
Exactly 19 days ago, while I was on ban, I went on a "date" with a girl from Seeking Arrangement. There's all kinds of girls on that site. The vast majority of them are not full time hookers. This girl had a job as a receptionist at a doctor's office.
TLDR: She thought I was too quiet.
Long version:
So we were texting for probably 4-5 days before we actually met. We were talking all kinds of sexual stuff over text, just like I usually do. At one point, she offered a price to come over, but then said she wanted to meet in person. When we met, I got the feeling that if she would have liked my personality better, she might not have even asked for money. That's happened to me twice before on that site.
So this is really my first "date" in a while. She drove 45 minutes to meet me. We were gonna go to a Vietnamese place close to my house, but her nail appointment ran long and the place closed at 9:30, so we ended up going to this Italian place that is also close to my house.
She looked good in her pictures, and just "okay" in person, but I would definitely still fvck her if she wanted to. Her teeth were pretty messed up, but hey nobody's perfect.
So the date was just small talk. She is just a standard human being. Nothing spectacular or unspectacular. If I can try to remember all the "small talk" topics that we covered...
Where we are from, where she's traveled to, where she wants to travel to. And just a bunch of other things that I don't really remember. But I honestly thought it was going at least decently until she decided to read my horoscope. I don't believe in this stuff, but I told her I'm a Pisces. She started reading for a few minutes. Half the stuff could have described me, half didn't. She read a line that said "Pisces can be timid," and then she said she thought that was me. I didn't even realize I was coming across as "timid" but that is about the WORST personality trait to have when it comes to trying to attract women.
We covered enough small talk topics that I felt that we knew each other at least a little. With how sexual we were talking on text in the days leading up to this "date," it was obvious that she knew I wanted to have sex. That definitely came across despite my "timid" appearance.
I said "well not always," referring to sex, and she knew what I was talking about and she just said "uh huh." Some time when the date was coming to an end, I asked if she felt comfortable with me... she replied by saying that she doesn't feel UNcomfortable.
After we got done, we walked out to the parking lot and I asked if she wanted to follow me back to my place. She said no because I was too quiet and she "wouldn't be into it." I just said "okay" like it was no big deal and got in my vehicle.
I would say this was $12 and 35 minutes well spent to pinpoint probably what my problem may be. I have always been quiet. One time, I took a Briggs-Meyer test and scored 100% introverted and 0% extroverted. I come across as timid and shy. There is no worse personality to have when it comes to attracting girls than shyness.
But I don't think that "shy" is necessarily the whole story. For those of you that know a little about me, you'll know that I'm kind of a psycho at times. I also have anger issues. I also have no problem fvcking complete strangers. And also, WHEN I'M DRUNK, there are times when I can talk for a long time and be extroverted. Problem is, even if I can force/fake/get drunk myself to being a little more extroverted temporarily, I think I would always go back to being introverted in a short time. Being as quiet as I am can actually make people uncomfortable. Like why is that guy not talking? It's weird.
She said she hasn't met many guys from that site and is pretty picky about who she meets, so I guess I can assume that she found me attractive?
But back to being "quiet,".... I have gone to bars, clubs, etc. possibly over 1000 times over the past several years and had very few actual conversations with people. I may be able to count them on 2 hands, in fact. I spend 99% of my time being silent. Some people just talk more than others. Many other people say more words in a day than I do in 6 months. I don't even know if this is something that can be "fixed." For one, it's not even a personality DISORDER, it's just a personality TRAIT. Not necessarily a "bad" thing, just not conducive to meeting women, unfortunately.
I think when people say that "personality matters" when it comes to getting women, they don't necessarily mean in a sense of having bad personality disorders, etc. They just mean being more extroverted and naturally social, than introverted and quiet. That's not to say that I'm necessarily all that nice even when I do talk.
The next day, I went back and read some of the text messages we were sending in the days leading up to the date. Such a stark contrast. She was talking about how she loved giving head and could control her gag reflex. She even talked about how she loved being tied up, etc. Yet when we get to the date, it's just quiet and boring. I'm afraid that's what might happen with anyone I went on a date with, and unfortunately these dates happen so infrequently that it's hard to work on it. The only reason I didn't get all that non-gag reflex head is because I'm too quiet. Oh well.
Some things I noticed:
She reacted well when I complimented her shoes. Maybe I should have given more compliments.
She also said I looked like I had an interesting past. I just talked briefly about how I used to do a lot of acid. I did not mention going to prison, of course. Then at one point, she said I was "one of a kind."
She also said that I move a lot. Meaning that I was shifting in my chair a lot, grabbing my drink a lot, etc.
But anyway.... I'm pretty smart. I recently taught myself how to be an electrician in about 2-3 weeks and I'm 100% positive that all the work is done properly. I had a somewhat decent base knowledge of some topics of home electric work from my other job, but I learned very rapidly to fix everything that was wrong with this house I'm flipping. My point is that I learn very quickly and I have sometimes wondered why I've been spinning my wheels on this "dating" thing for years with seemingly no progress. Well I think this was the learning experience. My obvious problem is that I'm too quiet. Duh. It's pretty obvious now that I think about it.
Something I forgot to add. When we were in the parking lot after we ate, she asked where I parked. She didn't see me arrive because I got there first. Perhaps she was expecting to see a nice car, but I pointed out my 1997 Ford Ranger with no a/c. I think she shrugged and said "oh." But I'm not sure if she cared or not. Hard to pull off the "rich guy" look driving a vehicle like that.
TLDR: She thought I was too quiet.
Long version:
So we were texting for probably 4-5 days before we actually met. We were talking all kinds of sexual stuff over text, just like I usually do. At one point, she offered a price to come over, but then said she wanted to meet in person. When we met, I got the feeling that if she would have liked my personality better, she might not have even asked for money. That's happened to me twice before on that site.
So this is really my first "date" in a while. She drove 45 minutes to meet me. We were gonna go to a Vietnamese place close to my house, but her nail appointment ran long and the place closed at 9:30, so we ended up going to this Italian place that is also close to my house.
She looked good in her pictures, and just "okay" in person, but I would definitely still fvck her if she wanted to. Her teeth were pretty messed up, but hey nobody's perfect.
So the date was just small talk. She is just a standard human being. Nothing spectacular or unspectacular. If I can try to remember all the "small talk" topics that we covered...
Where we are from, where she's traveled to, where she wants to travel to. And just a bunch of other things that I don't really remember. But I honestly thought it was going at least decently until she decided to read my horoscope. I don't believe in this stuff, but I told her I'm a Pisces. She started reading for a few minutes. Half the stuff could have described me, half didn't. She read a line that said "Pisces can be timid," and then she said she thought that was me. I didn't even realize I was coming across as "timid" but that is about the WORST personality trait to have when it comes to trying to attract women.
We covered enough small talk topics that I felt that we knew each other at least a little. With how sexual we were talking on text in the days leading up to this "date," it was obvious that she knew I wanted to have sex. That definitely came across despite my "timid" appearance.
I said "well not always," referring to sex, and she knew what I was talking about and she just said "uh huh." Some time when the date was coming to an end, I asked if she felt comfortable with me... she replied by saying that she doesn't feel UNcomfortable.
After we got done, we walked out to the parking lot and I asked if she wanted to follow me back to my place. She said no because I was too quiet and she "wouldn't be into it." I just said "okay" like it was no big deal and got in my vehicle.
I would say this was $12 and 35 minutes well spent to pinpoint probably what my problem may be. I have always been quiet. One time, I took a Briggs-Meyer test and scored 100% introverted and 0% extroverted. I come across as timid and shy. There is no worse personality to have when it comes to attracting girls than shyness.
But I don't think that "shy" is necessarily the whole story. For those of you that know a little about me, you'll know that I'm kind of a psycho at times. I also have anger issues. I also have no problem fvcking complete strangers. And also, WHEN I'M DRUNK, there are times when I can talk for a long time and be extroverted. Problem is, even if I can force/fake/get drunk myself to being a little more extroverted temporarily, I think I would always go back to being introverted in a short time. Being as quiet as I am can actually make people uncomfortable. Like why is that guy not talking? It's weird.
She said she hasn't met many guys from that site and is pretty picky about who she meets, so I guess I can assume that she found me attractive?
But back to being "quiet,".... I have gone to bars, clubs, etc. possibly over 1000 times over the past several years and had very few actual conversations with people. I may be able to count them on 2 hands, in fact. I spend 99% of my time being silent. Some people just talk more than others. Many other people say more words in a day than I do in 6 months. I don't even know if this is something that can be "fixed." For one, it's not even a personality DISORDER, it's just a personality TRAIT. Not necessarily a "bad" thing, just not conducive to meeting women, unfortunately.
I think when people say that "personality matters" when it comes to getting women, they don't necessarily mean in a sense of having bad personality disorders, etc. They just mean being more extroverted and naturally social, than introverted and quiet. That's not to say that I'm necessarily all that nice even when I do talk.
The next day, I went back and read some of the text messages we were sending in the days leading up to the date. Such a stark contrast. She was talking about how she loved giving head and could control her gag reflex. She even talked about how she loved being tied up, etc. Yet when we get to the date, it's just quiet and boring. I'm afraid that's what might happen with anyone I went on a date with, and unfortunately these dates happen so infrequently that it's hard to work on it. The only reason I didn't get all that non-gag reflex head is because I'm too quiet. Oh well.
Some things I noticed:
She reacted well when I complimented her shoes. Maybe I should have given more compliments.
She also said I looked like I had an interesting past. I just talked briefly about how I used to do a lot of acid. I did not mention going to prison, of course. Then at one point, she said I was "one of a kind."
She also said that I move a lot. Meaning that I was shifting in my chair a lot, grabbing my drink a lot, etc.
But anyway.... I'm pretty smart. I recently taught myself how to be an electrician in about 2-3 weeks and I'm 100% positive that all the work is done properly. I had a somewhat decent base knowledge of some topics of home electric work from my other job, but I learned very rapidly to fix everything that was wrong with this house I'm flipping. My point is that I learn very quickly and I have sometimes wondered why I've been spinning my wheels on this "dating" thing for years with seemingly no progress. Well I think this was the learning experience. My obvious problem is that I'm too quiet. Duh. It's pretty obvious now that I think about it.
Something I forgot to add. When we were in the parking lot after we ate, she asked where I parked. She didn't see me arrive because I got there first. Perhaps she was expecting to see a nice car, but I pointed out my 1997 Ford Ranger with no a/c. I think she shrugged and said "oh." But I'm not sure if she cared or not. Hard to pull off the "rich guy" look driving a vehicle like that.
Last edited: