You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Any structured class you take will also cover writing. And the writing is one of the hardest parts. In Japanese there is not one, not two but three writing systems.wolf116 said:Ouch! is that just the spoken part? I don't want to learn to write.
I have one year before I want to work over there.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
???AAAgent said:you can't talk unless you have learned something to use.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
I found listening to Pimsleur while walking to be effective.It killed two birds with one stone for me I could exercise while learning Japanese. Although I did look like a crazy man talking to himself. I stopped using Pimsleur because I didn't have any real time to dedicate learning Japanese. I am going to start learning Japanese again soon. Ohh I think taiyuu_otoko was the person who recommended this to me this site www.alljapaneseallthetime.com its a different way to learn Japanese. He uses Heisig's book Remember the Kanji. This seems to be the most controversial way to learn Japanese. I would suggest you do some research on this to see if it suits you.War Against Betaism said:Pimsleur's is the best language learning program I've ever used and Japanese was the language I wanted to learn. I actually stopped at lesson 20 months ago because I just got lazy, but I still remember the lessons and what I was taught.
The best part is that they come in the form of audiobooks so before you sleep and after you wake up, you can rest in bed for 30 minutes (each lesson is 30 minutes long) and just listen away. In fact I was told this is the most effective way of learning a language since we intake more information from something after we wake up and before we sleep since our minds are fresh. Although it was just a fictional made up number I've heard you can intake up twice as much information.
Though I think it has more to do with Pimsleur being just so effective. It doesn't teach you lessons, trying to break down sentences and explaining and such, it repeats sentences over and over again and it does it in a way that you'll notice a pattern in these sentences and automatically know their meaning.
Great idea. I forgot about that. If you can, look for a japanese supermarket. Likely they'll have a bulletin board where you can advertise for "language exchange." I met several friends that way.FireOnTheMountain said:Also, if there isn't a Japanese club, ask if you can put up a flyer about looking for someone to learn Japanese with. There's always one or two out there.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.