Here's the low down: I've been dating this girl for 15 1/2 months. I am 21 years old and she is 19. We both took each others virginity about a year ago. This girl is pretty rare with the cluttered mess of women these days: She doesn't go out and party unless I invite her to one, very kind and caring, not a drama queen, low maintenance, and always puts me first. Whenever I have a bad day shes on a mission to make me feel better. Shes very cute too. Very high quality LTR material. Shes madly in love with me still just crazy about me. There is only one problem. I just don't feel anything anymore. I've been telling myself that this is the girl I want to be with for the rest of my life but I can't feel anything. I don't want to date other girls I would like her so why don't I have all those feelings? THis is causing me a lot of stress and is on my mind all the time.
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
I want to feel it again!!
- Thread starter bud_2005
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I'm no "expert" but I've hard that there are chemicals in your body that stop being emitted after 12-18 months when you've been with someone which causes your "feelings" to change. You're young so I would advise you to maybe step away from it for awhile and see how you feel. If you don't begin to miss her, then I would say move along.
Moofahsa
Senior Don Juan
When your young you don't know what you "really" expect out of life, and you just kinda grow in different directions.
Be nice, stay friends with her if you want, but get you another woman.
Be nice, stay friends with her if you want, but get you another woman.
I know my advice doesn't count, but I'll give it anyway, SO THERE!!
So, yeah, get another girl, suuure, get that "old time feeling back", but first, you have to actually find one that has the same qualities of the one you have now. THHHHEN, you have to go through all the BS of getting used to each other, like passing gas in front of each other, getting a booger out that is stuck super high, yada yada.
It doesn't sound like that's an option for you. So, you could think of all the bvll**** you would have to go through to find a new one, or you could try going out on a "blind date", get some sex toys, get her to wear a wig and do crazy sex, cook together, have a bath together, on and on.
So, yeah, get another girl, suuure, get that "old time feeling back", but first, you have to actually find one that has the same qualities of the one you have now. THHHHEN, you have to go through all the BS of getting used to each other, like passing gas in front of each other, getting a booger out that is stuck super high, yada yada.
It doesn't sound like that's an option for you. So, you could think of all the bvll**** you would have to go through to find a new one, or you could try going out on a "blind date", get some sex toys, get her to wear a wig and do crazy sex, cook together, have a bath together, on and on.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
LostAndConfused
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2007
- Messages
- 1,137
- Reaction score
- 11
Ask yourself this, are you afraid of being single? If so, then you might have other issues than what you stated in your post. You'd be surprised at how many people get into a relationship just fine, they go strong for a while, and when the relationship needs to die, they stay in it because they want to avoid the self-placed feeling of loneliness. My friend has GREAT looks, hes charming, and when I finally convinced him to leave his sh1tty relationship that had lasted too long, after a couple of weeks he starts dating the girl again. Why? He's afraid of being single, just doesn't want to admit it.
I.A.F.Y.B.
Master Don Juan
This one is mainly up to you. You have been with this girl over 15 months now. She seems like every thing you want but, the fire is burning out. After being with someone for a long time it's hard not seeing them anymore or enjoying their company...
YOU need to decide whether stay with her or not. If you want to keep seeing her. Then, you need to communicate with your girl and tell her whats up. Or do something to spice things back up again.
YOU need to decide whether stay with her or not. If you want to keep seeing her. Then, you need to communicate with your girl and tell her whats up. Or do something to spice things back up again.
I LOVE LOBSTER!!!!!!
I used to have a relationship with an HB9.5 that lasted on and off (mostly off) for over 6 years. She had all the qualities of a "good girl" that everyone would want to marry. Kind, giving and treated me like a king. Physically, she looked perfect - nice boobs, long legs, nice round ass and a very pretty face. I dumped her and took her back time and time again. Why? What made her a 9.5 as opposed to a 10? Answer: SHE WAS FVCKIN' BORING. She was never a challenge but most of all I got tired of fvcking the same chick over and over. However, I kept breaking up with her taking her back because she was super arm candy. One dude I don't know but obviously knew her came up to me and said "Dude, you're fvckin' gay for dumping her".
Well, you see, I LOVE LOBSTER but I don't want to eat it EVERY FVCKIN' DAY!!!
I used to have a relationship with an HB9.5 that lasted on and off (mostly off) for over 6 years. She had all the qualities of a "good girl" that everyone would want to marry. Kind, giving and treated me like a king. Physically, she looked perfect - nice boobs, long legs, nice round ass and a very pretty face. I dumped her and took her back time and time again. Why? What made her a 9.5 as opposed to a 10? Answer: SHE WAS FVCKIN' BORING. She was never a challenge but most of all I got tired of fvcking the same chick over and over. However, I kept breaking up with her taking her back because she was super arm candy. One dude I don't know but obviously knew her came up to me and said "Dude, you're fvckin' gay for dumping her".
Well, you see, I LOVE LOBSTER but I don't want to eat it EVERY FVCKIN' DAY!!!
How do you know she doesn't feel the exact same way you do? She could be faking it the whole time she is with you. Lets just hope she hasn't done anything about it because if she has let another guy inside her while she was with you, that would suck.bud_2005 said:
------------------------------------------
Bond: "That looks like a woman's gun."
Largo: "Do you know a lot about guns, Mr Bond?"
Bond: "No, but I know a little about women."
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I'd advise you to stay with her. If you split up, she's the one who'll get another bf within 5 mins and you'll be the one put back into the competitive distorted market chasing tail again, which isn't fun unless you enjoy being enslaved by women.
MM
MM
She's too gosh darn happy to be there - yuk! This type of behavior turns people off - guy or gal - that's why you ain't feeling it bud. She's not a challenge whatsoever. Act like this to a chick you're dating and see what happens to you.
Lord Shinra
Senior Don Juan
Try some crazy stuff (sexual or not) with her, see if that flame gets re-kindled. If not, then just go get other women, but be sure to begin to retreat a bit from her if shes really swallowed whole by you.
I tried that with an LTR of mine way back when (we tried some.. different things in bed) and it rekindled it. Didn't work out in the end, but we parted friends and shes become a pivot in my current exploits.
I tried that with an LTR of mine way back when (we tried some.. different things in bed) and it rekindled it. Didn't work out in the end, but we parted friends and shes become a pivot in my current exploits.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
Im experienced in LTR, LDR and the single "game" all of which i was very successful with and my true honest advice to you is that your feelings for your girlfriend are deminishing over time. You cannot force yourself to "feel it" althought i dont deny you care for her alot still but you dont have the same feelings you had when you first started dating. A big problem i see here is that your only 21, im not that far ahead of you in age but i believe these are your years to experience other woman and oh yes, there will be cuter, hotter and sexier girls lurking in your eyes. My advice is just see what happens, dont "force" yourself to feel anything ages 20 - 28 are suppossed to be the craziest years with woman so dont fight it.bud_2005 said:
i suggest you date around...
no point if feelings arent there, i find that when my feelings are gone from loving to just being used to a person, even the sex becomes... well... boring....
the problem ur having my friend is that you are afraid of losing her and arent sure you'll find somebody better... but if you stay with her, you'll always have that lingering in the back of your head "what if".... which is worse.. the answer to your question is the path you MUST take..
no point if feelings arent there, i find that when my feelings are gone from loving to just being used to a person, even the sex becomes... well... boring....
the problem ur having my friend is that you are afraid of losing her and arent sure you'll find somebody better... but if you stay with her, you'll always have that lingering in the back of your head "what if".... which is worse.. the answer to your question is the path you MUST take..
ready123
Master Don Juan
welcome to that phase called commitment
are you ready?
are you ready?
How do people feel when they've been dating 5 or 10+ years? I've been told love isn't a feeling.
I think I almost figured it out today. Over about the past 3 months I've been worrying about this type of stuff. I thought of telling her we should just be friends. This is where it gets confusing. You see I don't really enjoy my time with her because I'm always have anxiety about not feeling it. But when the pressure wasn't there I felt like I did love her and and I wanted to hang out with her. But then she would be like wtf you just said you wanted to be friends and NOW you tell me you love me so much and she might think I'm playing with her heart. She's my best friend. Like I want to be with her as a boyfriend but keep it at a friends distance. Like we don't talk everyday but we hang out and really enjoy each others company. I think I would fall for her again. Its nice she tells me "love you" all the time and I used to tell her all the time too but now I kind of get uneasy when she says it all the time. I REALLY don't want to break this girl's heart she is soo kind and I don't want to ruin her future relationships if we are not together by thinking all guys are jerks and stuff like that. THIS IS SO CONFUSING.
I think I almost figured it out today. Over about the past 3 months I've been worrying about this type of stuff. I thought of telling her we should just be friends. This is where it gets confusing. You see I don't really enjoy my time with her because I'm always have anxiety about not feeling it. But when the pressure wasn't there I felt like I did love her and and I wanted to hang out with her. But then she would be like wtf you just said you wanted to be friends and NOW you tell me you love me so much and she might think I'm playing with her heart. She's my best friend. Like I want to be with her as a boyfriend but keep it at a friends distance. Like we don't talk everyday but we hang out and really enjoy each others company. I think I would fall for her again. Its nice she tells me "love you" all the time and I used to tell her all the time too but now I kind of get uneasy when she says it all the time. I REALLY don't want to break this girl's heart she is soo kind and I don't want to ruin her future relationships if we are not together by thinking all guys are jerks and stuff like that. THIS IS SO CONFUSING.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.