I want to date ex's daughter

[LFDG]

I think I have a problem! I'm 53,recently widowed after 17 years,and have the hots for my ex's 35 year old daughter (from previous marriage). Whats more she lives 2000 miles away! Before you say "emotional transfer", read on. There has always seemed to be a connection between us (un-acted on), and now that Mom's passed away we've spent many hours on the phone talking about everything except my ex. I know she likes me, soon I will visit her for a couple weeks and will be trying some of the DJ techniques to find out how much. She lives in a small town with 2 daughters, never married, bad luck with men. My questions:
Am I crazy?
Is this hopeless?
How should I proceed?
Do any of you have any relative (no pun intended) experience?
LFDG

 

[Desdinova]

I fvcked my ex's best friend. As long as she's not directly related to you, it's all good!

 

[KarmaSutra]

It's absolutely cool to go and use her pvssy for something other than to piss out of. Don't look for absolution or benediction from anyone. If she wants to point her toes to Jesus for you, so be it.

 

[ElChoclo]

There is at least one piece of information missing here. At what age did you first have contact with the 35 year old. And did you ever live with her and her mother at the same time. And did you ever play any role of father in her life.

When we have that information a fully informed view could be given. However, the fact that she is not biologically your relative, indicates firstly, that her mother had at least one "unsuccessful" relationship. She herself has children but never married. Suggesting a possible familial continuation of "undesirable" relationship activity.

 

[NorPacWolf]

Why Even Ask?

This board is so strange: every "man" posting a question here is asking for "permission" from other men to have sex! "Is it all right?" "Do you approve?"

Why do guys even ask?! You are an adult, and you are interested in having sex with a woman! If both of you are of legal age, aren't breaking any laws, and there is no professional conflict of interest, you know the answer: GO FOR IT. Stop wasting your time pounding away on the keyboard in frustration. Get your ass over there and dive right in. You both want it. Gentleman, this is not a confessional.

Wolf

 

[LFDG]

What is Magic?Re:Re:I want to date ex's daughter

Wolf,Desdinova,Kamasutra, I don't want to hear from you children about this.
All you young DJ's are only able to think with your ****'s.I feel sorry for you.
But, hopefully, someday you will find your soulmate and understand.You guys
don't know how meaningful sex, and love, can be until you've shared it with
a woman that has you so captivated that you don't desire anyone else, even as her beauty fades away into old age. I used to be like you;find em,**** em, forget em. It took a long time, but I found something better.
Elcholo,you may get it.I first had contact with her when she was 17.I was immediatly attracted.She lived with us for the frist three years.I felt a connection grow.I was careful not to act interested in her as the relationship
between her mom and me had been growing for ten years before I met her,and I wasn't going to mess up a good thing for a pretty *****.I was never a father figure,she referred to me as "that guy Mom lives with" for years (even tho we were married). I hear what your saying about familial
continuation of undesireable relationship activity,it has been on my mind,
Grandma had the same problem.My ex's first marriage lasted 20 years,obviously turned sour,if it was ever any good.But after 17 years it still felt like we were on our honeymoon.I've watched this 35 year old grow and mature.She now has a lot of the traits I'm looking for,and I'm thinking she and I might be able to capture the magic that I found with her mother.
I am a very young 53 year old,Often mistaken for forty,with the energy of a twenty something.
For the rest of you young DJ's, I'm not dead. I'm out there now playing the game,honing my DJ skills,having fun. But I've had fila mignon, hot dogs just don't taste as good any more. I want the magic back.

 

[Friendly Otter]

This is certainly one of the more interesting questions I have seen in this forum. I will refrain from giving any advice, as I am of two minds about this, and don't know enough about the situation anyway.

 

[MacAvoy]

Wolf,Desdinova,Kamasutra, I don't want to hear from you children about this.
All you young DJ's are only able to think with your d1cks.I feel sorry for you.
But, hopefully, someday you will find your soulmate and understand.

You guys don't know how meaningful sex, and love, can be until you've shared it with ....

YOUR STEPDAUGHTER?

When did this become a place for people to get advice how to pick up their children? Seriously man, your the one who needs help, you said you were attracted to your wives 17 year old daughter.

And your calling these guys kids, talk about IRONY. I think someone else has some maturing to do.

 

[Bible_Belt]

2 daughters, never married, bad luck with men

And now she's set to get it on with her former step-dad. This woman has major issues. There are probably traumatic events in her past that explain her messed-up psyche and relationship history. Maybe she was molested a long time ago, and that's why she is so receptive to you now, "daddy."

If you were just looking to get laid, her issues would be irrelevant. But you appear to have oneitis for a sex fantasy.

 

[ElChoclo]

This board is something of a confessional. Here's my view though. You knew her at a young age. Step fathers generally get a lower grade of acceptance as a father by step children. They frequently are called by their first name instead of father. To conclude that there isn't a father daughter relationship on this basis is not correct. The fact that you were careful to avoid any escalation of anything at that point, suggests to me, that at least in your own mind you were in some type of a relationship of that nature. Of course, the age involved would have made it socially unacceptable at that point.

The fact that there is no mother around to offend anymore is one thing. Still, you should reflect on the quality of what you are getting. You might find it very hurtful to break up with this woman because your previous relationship with her would no longer exist.

You should think of the social logic behind the incest taboo. It exists I suppose to prevent inbreeding but that's not applicable here. However there are considered to be some situations of dependence which are such that it is considered undesirable for physical intimacy to take place because of an unfair situation pertaining to the choice involved for the minor/child.

On balance, I would not proceed. Though I consider myself broadminded, there are some lines which I don't think should be crossed. My answer would perhaps be different if she had been say 25 when you first met, living away from home. It's not based on real logic but even I have prejudices.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Am I the only one who is going to answer your questions?

Am I crazy?
Is this hopeless?
How should I proceed?
Do any of you have any relative (no pun intended) experience?


Am I crazy? You may be but this is not for us to decide - see a medical professional If referring to being crazy for liking a woman, "No", you are not – any woman of legal age is a target to be acted upon!

Is this hopeless? No, but difficult – she is 2,000 miles away – so I fear you may try to get too much done too fast on your first visit to her and your wooing advances would look rushed and desperate – a more gradual approach is called for here considering the sensitivities.

How should I proceed? Gradually – but I say again, distance is an obstacle – difficult to do over the phone – you want to gauge all of her responses (verbal and nonverbal) to your coolly fine tuned advances and you can only gauge her signs of interest fully if present. But you seem to say that she IS interested in you so maybe you can be more forthcoming – but then again for what? Are you going to move 2,000 miles away?

She may only want you to be a provider for her children - the root to this puzzle is why does she want you??? Good looks – money – provider etc -

Do any of you have any relative (no pun intended) experience?

She is not your relative - so this is not even an issue!! The problem lies in her mind and yours in that you both were attracted to each other when you were with her mom. Is this proper to fulfill your unspoken desires considering the past ties that brought you two together, namely her mom and your wife?

This makes for a good soap opera - it has been done before.

 

[LFDG]

I STILL want to date my ex's daughter(I think)

I want to thank all of you who responded,the positives and the negatives.
You've all given me much to think about.I apologize for calling some of you children.I was hoping to hit a nerve and get some varied responses,it worked.
I've never seen a thread quite like this one,and I'm very confused.Am I so heartbroken that I would reach out for the closest image of my ex? Or is there really something there? Here's a little more history about me.
If my informal polling is accurate,few of you have experienced what I have.
My high school sweetheart's best friend became friends with me.I always had the feeling that she and I would make a great couple,but cicumstances prevented me from finding out.I have always wondered about her.
I met my ex under business cicumstances,we became friends,and that same feeling grew.Many things were in our way,it took ten years before I was able to find out if my feelings of a perfect match were true.I was right,it was a story book romance for another 17 years.
Many women have passed thru my life (and bed) but I have only had this premonition about three of them.The 35 year old daughter gave me that feeling the last several years.
My ex died a few months ago after being sick for one year with a incurable,
terminal illness.
On the one hand,of course I want to *uck her silly.I've known her long enough to see beauty,and sexy,inside and out.I'm as physically attracted to
her now as I was 17 years ago.But I also feel the hints of a connection on a deeper level.
I've been moving gradually,even playing hard to get,and the "prize",which seems kinda silly based on our distance and relationship.I would hate to spoil a friendship,but maybe I should tell her how I feel.
My ex always chose and sent gifts to her daughter.I just sent the first gift to her from only me,hand blown glass roses,for mothers day,with a poem.Not too mushy,nothing about love,just how pretty I think she is.I am hoping her response will give me a hint as to her feelings about me.
My greatest problem is doing all this long distance,over phone and internet.
When she was here after her mom died I think I noticed some nonverbal,positive signs.Others noticed a connection between us then.too.
I welcome all of you to comment on this,my situation covers a lot of DJ territory.We can all learn something from this.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Did you read my post in your first thread? I touched upon every point you made here before you made this new thread --- stay on one thread and delete this thread!!!

Make this a post in your first thread!

 

[Desdinova]

I merged the threads...

I'm going to retract my statement from earlier.

Wolf,Desdinova,Kamasutra, I don't want to hear from you children about this.
All you young DJ's are only able to think with your ****'s.I feel sorry for you.

No man, I feel sorry for YOU. You're making judgements based on the sole reason why many men are here. I'm happily in a LTR and getting sex regularly. You are not. I'm also not buying your cop-out that you were looking for a reaction.

Now, here's your problem:

But, hopefully, someday you will find your soulmate and understand.

You've given into society's command to "find that one special person". I don't believe in the soulmate idea. It's a load of horse5hit. There can be more than one ideal woman for a man. With millions of women out there, how the hell can you be sure you've found that perfect woman if you haven't dated ALL of them?

Now, I gathered from your first post that you just wanted to just fvck her and nothing else. Your following posts have shed more light on what's going on here.

It took a long time, but I found something better.

Yeah right. You found yourself having one-itis. Not only that, you've had one-itis for your step daughter for 17 YEARS!

I've been moving gradually,even playing hard to get,and the "prize",which seems kinda silly based on our distance and relationship.

It is silly. You're infatuated with a woman who doesn't even live near you.

I would hate to spoil a friendship,but maybe I should tell her how I feel.

Go ahead and do it. Also, tell her about the boner that you've had for her all these years. That'll scare her off.

I just sent the first gift to her from only me,hand blown glass roses,for mothers day,with a poem.Not too mushy,nothing about love,just how pretty I think she is.I am hoping her response will give me a hint as to her feelings about me.

HAHAHAHAHA!!! You've already buggered things up. Hand blown glass roses? A poem? What in the hell did she do to deserve these? Oh yeah, she's pretty. Now, tell me that no other men has praised her because of her looks. You've categorized yourself as an AFC. You're just like every other men she's come across in the past 15 years, a needy chump.

So what are you going to do when she rejects you? Convince her that she SHOULD love you?

I welcome all of you to comment on this,my situation covers a lot of DJ territory.We can all learn something from this.

I learned my lessons years ago, and your situation is nothing unique. The only thing that's different is you were married to her mother. You have one-itis just like so many others who have come here before you. However, I've never seen anybody on this message board who has had one-itis as long as you. Seventeen years is a long time to waste being infatuated with someone.

You can either choose to remain in your fantasy world of romance with your step daughter, or you can get a clue and work on curing your 17 year long disease.

 

[Latinoman]

I don't care what anyone said...but I'm almost sure that the 35-year-old's kids view you as their Grandad.

I truly believe you need some help. Because this is an issue that has tormented you for many years.

This is not a woman that you dated and things went wrong...and now you are trying to date her daughter. This is a woman that you married and was separated from her due to "death" (she is not your "ex"...she is your deceased wife). HUGE difference!

Furthermore, you met her daughter when she was 17. But knew her 10 years prior to marrying her. That teenager saw you in your mother's life for 17 years! She made you and your wife (r.i.p.) HAPPY the day she brought your grandchildren (I bet they call you "grandpa") to this World (regardless of her choice of men).

But the most important thing is that her children just lost their grandmother! She lost her mother!

You claim that you are "young" for your age. Then you should have zero problems finding women in their 30s and 40s.

My point is...when I see your post...I sense that you are looking for approval. It is your decision. But understand all the possible consequences to that decision...and that there children that viewed (or view) you as their grandfather.

 

[Helter Skelter]

This is bullshiit!!!

Woody Allen did this and he's happily married

Donald Trump said the other night if his daughter wasn't his daughter he'd date her(translation "bang her")

Life is too short you could be dead tomorrow.

Bang that shiit if she wants you.

Hell yeah.. bang that shiit... that's what I'm saying... That's what I'm saying..saying Yeah that's right

Fuuck that pu$$y




(I wanted post #700 to be special)

 

[Latinoman]

This is bullshiit!!!

Woody Allen did this and he's happily married

Donald Trump said the other night if his daughter wasn't his daughter he'd date her(translation "bang her")

Life is too short you could be dead tomorrow.

Bang that shiit if she wants you.

Hell yeah.. bang that shiit... that's what I'm saying... That's what I'm saying..saying Yeah that's right

Fuuck that pu$$y




(I wanted post #700 to be special)

Woody Allen situation was an adoption. Not some woman, which mother was married for 17 years to the man and then DIED as recently as a year ago. That on itself should be kind of tramatic. Don't you agree?

Then come her kids...which by now I'm sure view him as their granddad. "Grandmom died...and mom now is with granddad"

Let's give advice like mature men. Especially in cases such as the one described in this thread. Taking into consideration that there children in the mix too.

I tend to be a little liberal when it comes to "hunting". But there are some limits. This is one of those cases that I personally discourage due to the circunstances and who in the likelihood will end up hurt.

If things doesn't work...it is not like if he can just turn his back to his grandchildren. And yes...they are his grandchildren.

 

[MatureDJ]

I see nothing wrong with this arrangement. This woman was never a child, biological or adopted.