No. I haven't tried improving. This cycle started along time ago to where I was able to only focus on the negatives,due to some sense of inferiority, this led to constant feelings of bitterness and anger,that are deeply ingrained and I have a hard time letting go. It always feels like when someone is more succesful than me,I hit this emotional low. I have a hard time meeting people,plus I have some severe trust issues. Due to an incident that happened last year where things went from bad to worse.
I realize only I can fix this,I just haven't found the way out. I mean,I don't know why this keeps happening. I want all things to fall into place,but nothing has happened yet,so it makes me feel behind everyone else. I haven't figured out how things work,and everyone else has. So it is confusing for me. I have always felt like a loner since I was a kid. Always on the fringe of sorts,the whole not fitting in way. In some ways this has been both good and bad for me. Plus my own inexperience,it seems today,people are only interested how experienced you are with sex and dating than with who you are as a person,and you have to be this keep up with everyone else type of person,which is not who I am. People are of course more sexually active at an earlier age,which bothers me in many ways. I mean,not being as socially active is what's been a problem for me as well. I mean,this is what has been really depressing me the most. Not just the lack of it,but the whole experience with it and knowing how to handle it. I feel like my experience is limited to porn,which isn't the most realistic thing I know. I mean,it seems all other guys,at whatever age, have more experience. Or,they have already been with someone like at my age,23,with someone for 2 plus years,this is what scares me.