i want to ask this girl out, but my college makes life lame

[dynamicallyidle]

To clarify, I AM going to ask her out. She's this waitress at a local restaurant who surprisingly hit on me HARD when i went with my friends. I was dressed preppy-classy and was being suave as usual. But she's a TAD hotter than I'm used to, and she was dressed kind of like a rocker, with studded belt and all.

I'm worried about what will happen after a few dates because...

1) I really only have 1 mate that I'd be proud to introduce to this girl. I consider everyone else my college pretty lame (aka, small social life because my college has a lame atmosphere)
2) She seems like a rocker girl. maybe not punk. I'm definitely more of a euro style guy and college senior who is trying to get his **** ready for life. I'm very focused on starting a business, self-improvement in general, and stock market type things right now.

Two reasons why it will work:
1) There is no hotter girl at my college
2) She is already attracted to me physically, and a little bit socially, because I was definitely the alpha at the table

Have you guys been in a similar situation where you weren't happy about your social life and there wasn't much you could do about it? How did you fix it?

 

[WaterTiger]

First of all...

STOP WHINING!!!

You've already listed 73 reasons you're going to fail! Is that so you don't have to try? You've already dug your grave, set out flowers, invited the family and hopped in the coffin! I have news for you! YOU AREN'T DEAD YET!!!

NOW! Stop telling us all why it won't happen and ASK THE GIRL OUT!


Faint hearts never won fair ladies...or punk rock girls!

 

[dynamicallyidle]

(deleted)

 

[Thomas94305]

Have you guys been in a similar situation where you weren't happy about your social life and there wasn't much you could do about it? How did you fix it?

You're thinking too far ahead here. Look at the dynamic you've set up. Having a poor social life leads to not asking people out.. BUT.. not asking people out leads to a poor social life. That's a downward spiral..

With this gal.. just ask her to hang out with you, or a date, or whatever you want to call it. Don't think beyond asking her, it's not what you're facing right now. In fact, don't think too much when you ask. Your goal is about YOU, not her. You're now focusing on making her happy, being the ideal guy with lots of friends.. why would she date someone like me with only one good friend.. I've had those same thoughts.. I bet a lot of guys have had those thoughts...:yes:

When you ask her to do something, just have something casual for the two of you to do together.. that's all the further you need to think on this one. I've been seeing a gal off and on for several months, and I still haven't introduced her to any of my friends. I'm not that into her, and it doesn't come up. Focus on YOURSELF. YOU want to feel good about having the nerve to ask her. YOU want experience being around more people. YOU want to get dates going. BTW.. you're NOT treating her in a selfish manner. You've asked her, not told her. You've given her an opportunity to socialize. YOU'RE doing her a favor. By keeping the focus on yourself, you won't become self conscious about "pleasing" her, which is never your responsibility.

As for rebuilding your social life.. I've seen and posted about wanting to grow my circle of friends myself. There's postings here all the time with a title like "my friends are lame". You can search this forum for posts about friends.

Best to go off and do your homework.. go through the DJ bootcamp, it will help you get comfortable saying hi to people and make conversations. It's written to help you with women, but it ends up helping you with guys and gals. Do little things to widen your circle.. you can join a club or some other group. You can do homework with other classmates, then go to the coffee shop after to blow off steam. You'll have to learn to initiate, and ask people out.. at first it can hurt when they say no, a lot will. But, over time, you'll get better.

Don't be too worried about having a big circle of friends.. you'd be surprised how few people have good friends. Many say they have lots of friends. However, if I asked the average person around me who can he/she reliably call to get together this weekend, most people would come up with one person at best, often not even that.

 

[Mjazz]

You wont regret it if you do, only if you dont

 

[Aaron B]

paralysis by analysis

you are letting your intellect concoct all these scenarios for why it won't work.

You should be focused on is she the right girl for you. It sounds like you've already "rubber stamped" her in your mind when in reality you don't have enough information to make that determination.

You are worried about if you are worthy enough for her, which probably means you aren't. She should be interested in you and your life, and if you feel those things need to change to please her you are on the wrong path.

I highly recommend that you read The Book of Pook and Anti-Dump's Machine as soon as possible, follow the link at the bottom of the page to the DJ Bible.

 

[dynamicallyidle]

With due respect Aaron, there are no hot girls at my college. Otherwise, I would have options. I assure you.

And overall, the people at my college are lame, or I WOULD have a good social circle.