I wanna take a break from going out to clubs , but I can't...

[badboyjmm]

Well I haven't been dating any girls in a while (I had a ONS, few numbers, make outs but that's all) and a conversation with my dad made me realize that I go out a lot but it's not fun anymore. I've used my connection to get to clubs for free and spend my week there. I've realize that I can go out 6 night per week. But that's all I do, since there's no school and I work part-time. But I feel that something is off. The issue is just that I've used the club to somehow reduce the feeling that I don't have couple prospects.

So in my mind, going out and trying to meet these girls give me some sort of power but in reality, I always end up the way I started the night: Alone

I wanna meet more girls, but at the same time I don't wanna do it in a club anymore. Clubs have been really bad to me (maybe cause I'm just average looking) but I really tried to enjoyed it, dance, not being outcome dependent, but still. I had to deal with instant co©kblock, teases, AW, friends that don't wanna approach but wanna talk to girls at the end of the night outside the club, girls that would approach me put their number on my phone, then claim that I've never meet them (It happen with the last girl I sleep with, I didn't want a ONS), deal with girls that are dancing with me, claiming I'm awesome, exchanging phone number while they tell me that they have a boyfriend.

Make me realize that all my lays (3 in total, not a whole lot) have been ONS (first girl decided that could see eachother, the second one, I didn't wanna see her, the third one played dumb like we've never meet.

But the reason I say I can't stop myself is that I've learn to enjoy the club and to approach chicks, it's just that nothing as been happening. I'm looking to have a few prospects, have a couple friends with benefits even get a girlfriend and I always felt that going out give me a great training ground and there's a lot of girls to try to have conversations with.

So I wanna meet as many girls that I can cause more approaches, more results.

I honestly just feel tired of being alone and not being able to get laid on a consistent level.

Any thoughts ?

 

[PDubb75]

I'm with you on the club thing. Sick of them. I'm almost 27, but was in a 6.5 year relationship until I was 25. So, I've really only been going for about 2 years, an usually got 1 night a week. Still, I can't stand them when it comes to meeting girls.

Lately, I have tried to go the route of daygame instead, but lets face it, there are many more girls out on Friday and Saturday nights than you are going to find in a grocery store or coffee shop.

My solution... try going to more of a bar/lounge type place. It's more of a middle ground, so you still get the nightlife, but the types of girls are usually more down-to-earth/reliable in my experience. It is easier to talk with them without blasting music, and it's just a more relaxed environment. There are negatives, though. A lot more couples, or bigger groups with more guys at places like that. Not always as easy to open, but give that a shot.

 

[badboyjmm]

That's a good idea, but I was more thinking of avoiding the night life for a little bit. I will take a break then figure out those bar/lounges. One thing too is that I don't drink so maybe that why I don't relate that much to those girls...

Also I'm thinking that guys are successful with women but they don't necessarily go out a lot or even they don't go out at all. I mean, whenever you see a couple in a bar or club, I don't think in the majority of cases they meet in the nightlife.

So any thoughts, solutions, ideas to solve the issue ?

 

[PDubb75]

That's a good idea, but I was more thinking of avoiding the night life for a little bit. I will take a break then figure out those bar/lounges. One thing too is that I don't drink so maybe that why I don't relate that much to those girls...

Also I'm thinking that guys are successful with women but they don't necessarily go out a lot or even they don't go out at all. I mean, whenever you see a couple in a bar or club, I don't think in the majority of cases they meet in the nightlife.

So any thoughts, solutions, ideas to solve the issue ?

The majority of people meet the people they date at school, or through their social circle. I have had 7 girls I would say have been "girlfriends". Six of them I met through mutual friends. The other (my current oneitis) I met on vacation.

My advice would be to try one or a few of these things:

- Bring back old friendships with people you haven't seen in a while. Try to get involved with them as friends again. This will give you more exposure to new people.
- Join some kind of club/sport/class. Do something you enjoy and maybe there will be girls. You will already have something in common.
- Go out in some new places. Expand from your usual areas. Especially now that it's summer, go to some place a little farther than normal and spend the day doing things outside. Then if you decide to go out at night, you also have new places to hit up.
- Online dating. Some people love it, some people hate it, some people say don't even think about trying for a girlfriend on those sites. Between me and my sister, we know at least 20 people that have found someone they are in a serious relationship or married from those sites. They can work.

Hopefully that helps a little more? Bottom line is, you need to expose yourself to new people/places. Expand your horizons.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Well I haven't been dating any girls in a while (I had a ONS, few numbers, make outs but that's all) and a conversation with my dad made me realize that I go out a lot but it's not fun anymore. I've used my connection to get to clubs for free and spend my week there. I've realize that I can go out 6 night per week. But that's all I do, since there's no school and I work part-time. But I feel that something is off. The issue is just that I've used the club to somehow reduce the feeling that I don't have couple prospects.

So in my mind, going out and trying to meet these girls give me some sort of power but in reality, I always end up the way I started the night: Alone

I wanna meet more girls, but at the same time I don't wanna do it in a club anymore. Clubs have been really bad to me (maybe cause I'm just average looking) but I really tried to enjoyed it, dance, not being outcome dependent, but still. I had to deal with instant co©kblock, teases, AW, friends that don't wanna approach but wanna talk to girls at the end of the night outside the club, girls that would approach me put their number on my phone, then claim that I've never meet them (It happen with the last girl I sleep with, I didn't want a ONS), deal with girls that are dancing with me, claiming I'm awesome, exchanging phone number while they tell me that they have a boyfriend.

Make me realize that all my lays (3 in total, not a whole lot) have been ONS (first girl decided that could see eachother, the second one, I didn't wanna see her, the third one played dumb like we've never meet.

But the reason I say I can't stop myself is that I've learn to enjoy the club and to approach chicks, it's just that nothing as been happening. I'm looking to have a few prospects, have a couple friends with benefits even get a girlfriend and I always felt that going out give me a great training ground and there's a lot of girls to try to have conversations with.

So I wanna meet as many girls that I can cause more approaches, more results.

I honestly just feel tired of being alone and not being able to get laid on a consistent level.

Any thoughts ?

Bro, you're in Canada?? And you're wondering why you don't have luck in clubs? LOL

Canada is known worldwide for the ice queens at the clubs. Unless you're in the top 5-10% in looks and tall, you won't get much play at all in clubs. Especially in Canada. That's just the way it is.

Girls care more about looks than men. Meat market atmospheres like online dating and clubs do nothing but give the girls more options to weed out men for any tiny thing they don't like about your looks. Whether it is your hairstyle, a small mole, some acne, etc etc. Girls really are that picky.

 

[badboyjmm]

@PDubb75: You are right, manly because of my friends, I tend to go to the same places... I have a car I will basically go out a bit further, I don't really care if it takes me 30 minutes to get to a new place during the day and decide where to go if I decide to go out during the night. Heck one time I went clubbing and it took me 45 minutes to get there !

I was out friday night, and I couldn't help but laugh, drunk girls everywhere, below-average girls acting like there are models... I kinda understand why I just wanna have a few FWB and not care as much for approaching chicks...

Bro, you're in Canada?? And you're wondering why you don't have luck in clubs? LOL

Canada is known worldwide for the ice queens at the clubs. Unless you're in the top 5-10% in looks and tall, you won't get much play at all in clubs. Especially in Canada. That's just the way it is.

Girls care more about looks than men. Meat market atmospheres like online dating and clubs do nothing but give the girls more options to weed out men for any tiny thing they don't like about your looks. Whether it is your hairstyle, a small mole, some acne, etc etc. Girls really are that picky.

Well I can usually dance with some girls since I'm not a bad dancer, but I didn't know it was that bad. Canada is known worldwide for ice queens, do you have a source or it's just a way of explaining what you see ?

Also what is the solution then, I sure there's a way of getting girls without the club or get those silly girls to hook up more. Sure I have a plan of getting in shape because I don't really like the way I look and I'm pretty sure it's hurting my confidence. But it's just stupid that I had a good thing going on with a girl at a club sunday, only to have her friend c*ckblock me before I got the phone number...

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

@PDubb75: You are right, manly because of my friends, I tend to go to the same places... I have a car I will basically go out a bit further, I don't really care if it takes me 30 minutes to get to a new place during the day and decide where to go if I decide to go out during the night. Heck one time I went clubbing and it took me 45 minutes to get there !

I was out friday night, and I couldn't help but laugh, drunk girls everywhere, below-average girls acting like there are models... I kinda understand why I just wanna have a few FWB and not care as much for approaching chicks...




Well I can usually dance with some girls since I'm not a bad dancer, but I didn't know it was that bad. Canada is known worldwide for ice queens, do you have a source or it's just a way of explaining what you see ?

Also what is the solution then, I sure there's a way of getting girls without the club or get those silly girls to hook up more. Sure I have a plan of getting in shape because I don't really like the way I look and I'm pretty sure it's hurting my confidence. But it's just stupid that I had a good thing going on with a girl at a club sunday, only to have her friend c*ckblock me before I got the phone number...

I met a group of Dutch and UK men one time in my early 20's. We started talking and they asked me if I was a local. I said yes. They asked me: "What's up with the girls in this country mate? We were warned, but it is ridiculous. You go up to dance with them and they all turn away and dance with their girlfriends!" I just smiled and laughed.

Paraphrased of course. My memory is not that sharp.

 

[Mike32ct]

The bar/club attitudes and other negative experiences you guys experienced in Canada sound exactly like what happens here in the States.