I try to hide my attraction...

[Giacobe.KB]

Guys, I think my main problem is that for some reason, my mindset is always to not show her I am attracted. It's like for some reason I always think that if I act like I don't like her, it will make her frustrated into liking me and basically it's not working. I need to get rid of this mindset. Can you guys tell me what kind of mindset I should be having instead of this one?

 

[Dannyrt34]

Yeah, that's definitely not the mindset you want. It's actually better to show interest. It's how you show this interest is what's important.

If you show you're interested by just doing everything for her and trying to prove yourself to her, well you know that's not the right way to go.

Contrary to what others say on this site, it's ok to tell a girl you think she's hot, flirt a little, basically let your guard down. Just do this stuff with confidence!

This is the mindset.
It's ok to be nice, but be nice because YOU want to be nice.
It's ok to give a girl compliments, because YOU want to.
It's ok to tell her you like her, but because YOU want to let her know that.
You can do whatever you want, but only because YOU want to. Not to qualify yourself or prove yourself, you don't need to do that.

 

[Dannyrt34]

sorry double post

 

[dbot]

Showing disinterest only works with super hot girls who expect every guy to be falling all over her. Also, it only works if said girl finds you interesting in the first place (ie you're the center of attention, there's other attractive women hanging around you, you're the life of the party, etc).

Showing interest is fine as long as you don't come off as desperate. This works well for all girls, even the hot ones, and you don't need social proof to do it. Just be DIRECT. Talk to women like you talk to your friends. Skip formalities and introductions and all that. If after talking to her for a minute you still think she's interesting, do not ask for her phone number. Ask for a date.

"hey I gotta run, but would you like to go out sometime?"

If she says sure, THEN get her number.

"Ok cool. Let me get your phone number."

You'll rarely get rejected, because you can usually tell just from talking to her if she's interested or not (are you doing all the talking?). And if she says "no/i have a boyfriend/etc" no biggie, just say, "ok, have a good night then."

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

You don't necesarily have to hide your attraction. You just don't wanna come out and say "I really like you" right off the bat. Depending on my mood. Sometimes I'll come on too strong or not strong enough. There is a balance you have to find. Take risks when doing it.

 

[Mr. Me]

Any normal woman figures that if you're a guy and talking to her, you're interested. And when you give any sign at all of being interested, any nuance of it, it confirms it for them.

If instead you come off as *indifferent*, then they may pursue you more themselves, even declare loving feelings for you after a while. But that doesn't mean you should come off as not liking them. By indifferent, I mean be charming and fun to be around, dangling the carrot, but without chasing them, so that they don't have a clue if you're interested or not. This can do two things: Makes them want you since you haven't handed yourself over, which is what then triggers them to pursue you. Or they ask questions to find out why you're seemingly not interested, such as, "are you gay?" because they can't figure out why else you're not drooling over them like every other dork.

 

[Huffman]

Yeah, and many girls will straight out forget about you in an instant if you don't show any.