"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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I tried to be an understanding guy, need a potential plan b

R

Reckoning

Don Juan
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So this girl was in a loooong relationship not so long ago (fact:they pretty much casually break up and make up), wanted to keep it casual with me (as in we're seeing each other but no titles, cool with me). So she wasn't really ready to be with another guy(I bailed immediately, but she was persistent that she doesn't want a rebound, that she would just find some poor soul who will fall in love with her instantly if she needed that, just needs some time so I played along, we kissed a few times here and there). Another fact is, she does genuinely like me, and has proven it, I won't go into too many details (cares about me(had a health emergency she was honestly worried), INSISTS that we remain in touch whenever I go cold, also very jealous, made out with me right before breaking up with the guy). But the problem is, that relationship is likely the most important one so far in her life, she has some kind of hard coded attachment to him, and she recently started avoiding contact, without any explanation and by pure chance (long explanation) I found out she got back together with the guy.

Now, I surely won't contact her, but she will probably contact me in the following months, or even days, hours, whatever, and she will call drunk, send messages wherever however she can, even to my friends (99% chance judging from what I've seen so far), and I need some advice on what the hell am I supposed to do to stop this damn rollercoaster with her and stop being the "secondary" guy when she starts having second thoughts about her choice of boyfriend again, because I'm thinking I like her too much to make the truly right moves. I do however think she is an idiot who doesn't know what she wants and isn't just making a fool out of me (because at this point, if she lied to me about anything, she's probably a sociopath, which is unlikely). Thanks.
 
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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R

Reckoning

Don Juan
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Well don't call her an idiot or insult her decision making ever
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Don't be needy and DO NOT ask for a relationship.
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Yeah I know better than that, would've lost the game a long time ago if I did any of that, and there have been many opportunities for me to screw it up completely considering the way she is. I've got other things going on, sure, but this is the kind of thing that's the first thing on my mind when I wake up, which hasn't happened in a long time...

Thanks man, much appreciated.

Of course, any other opinions are more than welcome, I've become too one sided on this thing through the sheer amount of time this has been going on.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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