"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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I threw out my lower back

speakeasy

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About a week ago, I was doing stiff leg deadlifts. My form must've been off because later that day, I was in so much pain I could barely stand up by my own power. It took about a week for 90% of the pain to be gone. I laid off the gym and martial arts classes and took it easy. Though I did do a long distance bike ride which didn't hurt my back at all.

So I go back to the gym yesterday. I spend a lot of time warming up first with backstretches. On the agenda today was squats(I went pretty light, only 100lbs max so I wasn't putting too much pressure on my back), did some bicep curls and lat pull downs. Was going to do some work on the calf machine too, but when I stepped in it and thusted myself up I felt immediate pain in my back and quit.

When I got back home, my lower spine once again was in excrutiating pain even though I thought I took it fairly easy on my back and went into the gym feeling pretty good. How long do you think I have to stop working out? I don't want to be out for a month. But you don't want to fvck your back up either. :confused:
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Cry For Love

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If this is really serious then you shouldnt, but in my experience for a smaller low back ache the "superman" exercise helps to relieve any tension present there.
 

Bible_Belt

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I have had a sore back on occasion. When you were lifting, your body went on red alert that your spine might be in danger, so it had all of the surrounding muscles seize up. This is what happens to most people whose lower back hurts. It is the body protecting the spine with the surrounding muscles.

Rest is all that helps at first. After that, just get used to warming up and stretching your back.

Some stretches I do:

Lay on your back and bring each knee up toward your forehead, then swing both up over your head and bend yourself in half

Lay on your stomach in pushup position. Bring your shoulders up, but keep your hips on the floor. It's like a pushup where your hips stay down. This bends your back backwards, opposite of the last stretch.

Finally, sit with your legs straight out and your torso upright. Take one foot and cross it over your knee; that bent knee is now up off the mat. Now take your opposite elbow and place it on the far side of the knee that is up. This turns you around to be looking behind you as you sit. This is a twisting stretch. Reverse it to stretch to both sides.
 

speakeasy

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Bible_Belt said:
I have had a sore back on occasion. When you were lifting, your body went on red alert that your spine might be in danger, so it had all of the surrounding muscles seize up. This is what happens to most people whose lower back hurts. It is the body protecting the spine with the surrounding muscles.

Rest is all that helps at first. After that, just get used to warming up and stretching your back.

Some stretches I do:

Lay on your back and bring each knee up toward your forehead, then swing both up over your head and bend yourself in half

Lay on your stomach in pushup position. Bring your shoulders up, but keep your hips on the floor. It's like a pushup where your hips stay down. This bends your back backwards, opposite of the last stretch.

Finally, sit with your legs straight out and your torso upright. Take one foot and cross it over your knee; that bent knee is now up off the mat. Now take your opposite elbow and place it on the far side of the knee that is up. This turns you around to be looking behind you as you sit. This is a twisting stretch. Reverse it to stretch to both sides.
We do these exact stretches routinely in my martial arts classes. And yeah, I've been using them this last week. They are tremendously helpful.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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speakeasy

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I didn't go to a doctor, but reading up about the symptoms on webmd.com, I'm pretty sure I have a herniated disc.

I tried to go in an do some weight lifting that I thought wouldn't affect my back, like flat bench presses, bicep curls and things like that. I don't want to have to stop working out for a month or two. But even when doing exercises that you wouldn't think effect the back, they still do. For now, things like deadlifts and squats are off the table for probably a few months at least.

What are some good exercises for my upper body that won't put tension on my back? I've made good gains the last year, I don't wanna lose 'em!
 
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