I thought woman want a succcessful man...

[In2theGame]

I have been going out a lot and meeting hot girls here and there, never really wanting to date one much just F them. Recently i met a girl HB 7, she contacted me constantly, Texting me at will to the point i actually kind of got annoyed. We went on 1 date and everything seemed great, we had a good time and got some wine for us to drink and she kept grabbing on to my leg and me kissing her from time to time. Fast forward to date number 2 which was Friday night. We were having dinner in midtown, i show up in a nice Lincoln town car, the driver actually gets out and opens the door for me n sh*t like im a higher up baller, anyway,... i get in and give her a nice kiss on the lips... we sit and eat and once we start talking about money.. she kind of looks at me strange because i told her i am an ambitious man, i believe in creating wealth and not having to depend on a job or a boss to dictate my time and life.

She seems all into it but then comments that i am arrogant and from that point things start going downhill. We decide to go to a bar and i stop a cab,.. she wants to take the train and feels i am "wasting" money on cabs, Im thinking wtf... we get into the cab anyway... shes holding my hand but i kind of pull away and she grabs my hand with a stronger grip, so i went along with it. We get into the bar and i know the bouncers, so no wait on line, no Fee and no ID check... i let them know shes with me so its all good. we sit and grab drinks... then it continues on.. she grabs on to my leg, holding my hand also.. Im attracted to her so i want to kiss her, i lean in and we're kissing but she says she doesnt like showing too much public affection.. im like um... ok. Later she tells me her previous BF's and Fiance dumped her so i begin thinking how come. shes in her early 30's and tells me she just sits home on weekends watching movies. Things just died down and i felt she was kind of not into it anymore.

I offered to send her home in a cab but refuses and wants to take a train so i walk her to the train, she gives me a kiss on the lips before she goes. That was that. Now i actually liked her so i figured i would see her again to see where it goes but next day she texts me that we arent on the same page and liked me but doesnt want to lead me on. Now im wondering is it me thats too much into success, did i come off ****y arrogant or did she seem like a prude. Its just the way i am, I admit i do have an Ego and i always had one, in anything i do i want to win, i want to be successful and i will do what i have to do to get it done. I guess it wasnt meant to be and i was presenting myself as i am, especially as she told me that she has an abusive ex BF and im nothing like that, id take care of my woman and would want to share my success with her but maybe this was just a fluke. Any thoughts on what maybe went wrong?

 

[NewAndImproved]

Sounds like you pulled out all the stops. Towncar, bouncers, cabs from place to place in NYC where most get around on foot or by train/bus...

Maybe she felt intimidated and overwhelmed.

It might've been all too much too soon. (Notice how she started talking about her ex fiance... if you're doing all these things for her, she's thinking, what's your endgame??? Marriage?)

What's her income level/class relative to yours?

I remember talking recently to a girl who was feeling me. Then I told her about a very unique (once in a lifetime) trip I got to take because of my job. I tell this story a lot and depending on the kind of the girl she either doesn't care at all (so she's nexted), is interested and asks follow up questions (she's cool) or can tell an interesting story of her own (the best). She immediately was turned off and stopped talking to me.

So yeah, I think she just felt intimidated.

 

[MikeOck]

Different women want different things. I've met women who seriously claimed that they prefer poor guys over rich guys, usually (as most guys know) it's the other way around. Could be low self esteem (she thinks a successful guy will leave her for a prettier gold digger) or could be she cares more about quality time than money (ambitious guys tend to spend more time working than with their family).

Either way, this is the point of dating, and specifically dating lots of different women, because most people are going to want different things than you, so you need to have a haystack to sort through to find that needle.

As for this one specifically, it is difficult to tell from the limited info you gave, but it sounds like she was looking for a FWB and got the impression you wanted more. F it, on to the next one, don't spend too much time over-analyzing, that time would be better spent on the next girl.

 

[backbreaker]

would you argue with a mentally challenged child who swore to you that 4 plus 4 is 11?

than why would you argue or even consider the feedback of a 30 year old woman whose boyfriend just broke up with her and she admits to sitting home and watching TV all day. that's exactly what you DON'T WANT. what that person has to say about success and egoism i could give 2 ****s about.

 

[In2theGame]

Thanks for the advice guys. She is a teacher and not originally from NYC. I was not trying to over do it but she commented on my trying to "impress her" I really wasnt, I like traveling in style, in comfort and experience and enjoy the finer things. I kind of felt bad because she called me arrogant and too confident but im not about to "lower" my attitude i have towards life because a female said i should. From what i gather, her ex fiance left her and now has some legal action against him due to him putting his hands on her. Anyway, yeah she says she doesnt go out much at all and just stays home watching television. I guess Backbreaker is right in not worrying what she has to say about my attitude.

 

[Bokanovsky]

We were having dinner in midtown, i show up in a nice Lincoln town car, the driver actually gets out and opens the door for me n sh*t like im a higher up baller, anyway,... i get in and give her a nice kiss on the lips... we sit and eat and once we start talking about money.. she kind of looks at me strange because i told her i am an ambitious man, i believe in creating wealth and not having to depend on a job or a boss to dictate my time and life. She seems all into it but then comments that i am arrogant and from that point things start going downhill.

There's a lesson to be learned here. Successful people do not need to tell other people that they are successful. It's obvious. People who try hard to create the appearance of success are usually all fluff. What you're doing may work on some guidable small town girl, but in NYC, where every second dude is a millionaire, people have a way of seeing through the BS.

 

[In2theGame]

There's a lesson to be learned here. Successful people do not need to tell other people that they are successful. It's obvious. People who try hard to create the appearance of success are usually all fluff. What you're doing may work on some guidable small town girl, but in NYC, where every second dude is a millionaire, people have a way of seeing through the BS.

I wasnt trying to talk about my "success" nor show it. She asked me how i view things and i did. i dont wear a rolex although i could, i dont dress up much, i like the t shirt and jeans. im laid back however i believe in achievement and doing things that make me comfortable.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Thanks for the advice guys. She is a teacher and not originally from NYC. I was not trying to over do it but she commented on my trying to "impress her" I really wasnt, I like traveling in style, in comfort and experience and enjoy the finer things. I kind of felt bad because she called me arrogant and too confident but im not about to "lower" my attitude i have towards life because a female said i should. From what i gather, her ex fiance left her and now has some legal action against him due to him putting his hands on her. Anyway, yeah she says she doesnt go out much at all and just stays home watching television. I guess Backbreaker is right in not worrying what she has to say about my attitude.

I think she's just insecure. Insecure people hate being around others who are more successful than them. It just feeds the insecurity even more. From the sounds of it, you're not missing much with this girl.

Her loss.

 

[backbreaker]

I don't know what you are or aren't trying to do but if you have things and do things that she doesn't or that is presumed better than she is, she's going to automatically think you are showing off. This is why i would always drive my knock around car to dates which is/was a lexus SC300 so I mean it's not like it was a POS but it's nice without going overboard. But when I first moved out to LA I actually had an aston martin.. i sold it once I found out my now wife was pregno and got something more standard /child safe plus it got old after a while.. anyway and a few times i've had people say 'you are showing off" or "why are you trying to impress people" I mean, it's my car lol. cars aren't like shirts it's not like you got one for every occasion. I had a knock around car and a big boy car. I'm sorry you take it as me showing off but I mean what am i supposed to do?

but like i said i would cut all that out by just driving around my knockaround car. But like my wife on our third date I drove the AM to pick her up.. she'd already seen it she'd been at my house but anyway her BETA male friends at the cookout that we were at were pretty butt hurt and started with the showing off bit.

There's a fine line between showing off / blowing money and enjoying what you have. Only you can define what that line is. I like nice cars. I will always have a nice car as long as I can afford to. And I'm not going to not drive my car because I give a **** what someone thinks I am going to look like or who I'm trying to impress. Those people are actually more hurt/ have bigger self esteem issues than you do.

think of it like this.... you got 3 girls and 2 of them are very avg not ugly but very avg but one of them is a true bombshell. they go out to a pool party with some friends and none of them are dressed up or anything but even rolling out of bed the bombshell is just a knockout and draws attention. The 2 girl friends might say the girl is showing off beucase she has on a two peice but what the **** is the bombshell supposed to do wear a nun gown beucase she looks better than you lol? you all have own swimsuits but the bombshell can't help it if she looks 2x better in hers than her 2 friends do.

 

[Die Hard]

Recently i met a girl HB 7, she contacted me constantly, Texting me at will to the point i actually kind of got annoyed.

Red flag. This is typical behavior for emotionally unstable nutjobs with self worth issues, abandonment issues and all that. Call them BPD, cluster B, whatever...they're all psychos and they all fvck with your mind.

she kind of looks at me strange because i told her i am an ambitious man, i believe in creating wealth and not having to depend on a job or a boss to dictate my time and life. She seems all into it but then comments that i am arrogant and from that point things start going downhill.

Another red flag. She's clearly creating drama, trying to provoke you, trying to create conflict. Like all nutjobs psycho bytches do, it's what they thrive on. It's their way to get their hooks into you, they try to mess with your confidence, try to get you to "win her approval" etc. At the same time, they have such a low self image that they hate it when other people treat them good, coz they feel they don't really deserve that.Therefor, they hate those people and will lash out at those people. Etc. etc. cluster B, BPD psycho nutjob behavior.

We decide to go to a bar and i stop a cab,.. she wants to take the train and feels i am "wasting" money on cabs, Im thinking wtf... we get into the cab anyway... shes holding my hand but i kind of pull away and she grabs my hand with a stronger grip, so i went along with it.

More push-pull behavior. First she tries to create conflict by challenging you and dismissing your behavior, saying you "waste money" etc. Then she does the opposite and shows affection by holding your hand and even grabbing it tighter when you tried to pull it away. All push-pull behvior to fvck with your mind and set her hooks into you. Very typical BPD/cluster B/psycho nutjob behavior...

We get into the bar and i know the bouncers, so no wait on line, no Fee and no ID check... i let them know shes with me so its all good. we sit and grab drinks... then it continues on.. she grabs on to my leg, holding my hand also.. Im attracted to her so i want to kiss her, i lean in and we're kissing but she says she doesnt like showing too much public affection.. im like um... ok.

More push-pull behavior, fvcking with your mind. First leading you on, grabbing onto your leg, holding hands etc. Then the opposite, denying you the kissing... All part of the process to sink her hooks into you! At first, you still feel your confident self with these women. Slowly but surely, however, they will make you feel insecure and make you chase after her, seeking her validation.

Later she tells me her previous BF's and Fiance dumped her so i begin thinking how come.

Red flag. Either because she is trying to assume the 'victim role', which is what all psycho, cluster B nutjobs do (while in reality, their boyfriends often didn't DUMP them but ran away as hard as they could to SAFE themselves, after they found out what a psycho they were dealing with...) Or they really did dump her and they were giant narcissistic assholes who treat women like asbolute sh!t. Psycho nutjobs always have a history of relationships with that kind of guy...

next day she texts me that we arent on the same page and liked me but doesnt want to lead me on.

Creating more drama and messing with your mind. The setup she is applying, is as follows: She gives you an inch of hope by saying she likes you. This is what will keep you from giving up and forgetting about her... At the same time, she has kinda dismissed you as a potential "lover", so you are left feeling confused. It's the start of the process of slowly fvcking up your mind...making you feel confused, making you doubt yourself...making you doubt whether you should kill off the positive feelings you had towards her because the two of you have no future, or whether you should let those feelings linger a bit more because there still might be a chance that the two of you get together after all....in other words, you don't know what to think and you don't know what to feel, it's the start of her mentally breaking you down...

especially as she told me that she has an abusive ex BF and im nothing like that, id take care of my woman and would want to share my success with her

Red flag. A woman having one or more abusive boyfriends is a strong sign that you're dealing with a Cluster B/BPD/psycho nutjob!
Furthermore, these women prey on guys exactly like you! The "nice guy", who wants to be there for his woman and treat her well.


Look, if this woman doesn't contact you anymore from here on, than you should forget about her anyway, right? She said that the two of you are not on the same page and that she doesn't want to lead you on. That's a clear rejection, an interested woman would not say that. So you have to see that for what it is and be done with it, unto the next woman!

However, I feel there's a pretty good chance that you WON'T leave it at that. I have a feeling that you will contact her nonetheless and will try to convince her that she should give you another try, blah blah.
And even if you don't decide to contact her, I feel there is a pretty good chance that she will contact YOU again and say some things that will give you hope that you might actually have a chance with her after all!

I even fear that one of these two things has happened already, since you wrote your last post...

In any case, I advice you to read up on BPD (Borderlne Personality Disorder), cluster B and all the sick behavior that certain women may display. Here are some search results for ya:

http://sosuave.net/forum/search.php?searchid=1758373
http://sosuave.net/forum/search.php?searchid=1758371
http://sosuave.net/forum/search.php?searchid=1758376

Or.....she might just be a stupid flower power, hippie, Greenpeace kind of girl who thinks it's wrong to earn lots of money and will condemn everyone who doesn't volunteer to go help starving children in Africa... In which case, you should NEXT her as well

 

[Atom Smasher]

A 3rd grader called...they want their lack of paragraphs back.

I don't read alphabet soup vomit.

 

[Burroughs]

in 2013 most people are jealous underpaid faggots who will never find a moment of happiness in their lives....any tiny shred of luxury you show will be immediately mocked and vilified...your best bet is to downplay or you will be isolated...most people have nothing but hatred for their *friends* even though they show otherwise

 

[nismo-4]

I'm glad I don't live in NYC. Hell, Atlanta's no different.

If you're successful, don't brag about it. The successful swag shows when you have ACTUAL SUCCESS anyway.

Case closed.

 

[In2theGame]

Red flag. This is typical behavior for emotionally unstable nutjobs with self worth issues, abandonment issues and all that. Call them BPD, cluster B, whatever...they're all psychos and they all fvck with your mind.



Another red flag. She's clearly creating drama, trying to provoke you, trying to create conflict. Like all nutjobs psycho bytches do, it's what they thrive on. It's their way to get their hooks into you, they try to mess with your confidence, try to get you to "win her approval" etc. At the same time, they have such a low self image that they hate it when other people treat them good, coz they feel they don't really deserve that.Therefor, they hate those people and will lash out at those people. Etc. etc. cluster B, BPD psycho nutjob behavior.



More push-pull behavior. First she tries to create conflict by challenging you and dismissing your behavior, saying you "waste money" etc. Then she does the opposite and shows affection by holding your hand and even grabbing it tighter when you tried to pull it away. All push-pull behvior to fvck with your mind and set her hooks into you. Very typical BPD/cluster B/psycho nutjob behavior...



More push-pull behavior, fvcking with your mind. First leading you on, grabbing onto your leg, holding hands etc. Then the opposite, denying you the kissing... All part of the process to sink her hooks into you! At first, you still feel your confident self with these women. Slowly but surely, however, they will make you feel insecure and make you chase after her, seeking her validation.



Red flag. Either because she is trying to assume the 'victim role', which is what all psycho, cluster B nutjobs do (while in reality, their boyfriends often didn't DUMP them but ran away as hard as they could to SAFE themselves, after they found out what a psycho they were dealing with...) Or they really did dump her and they were giant narcissistic assholes who treat women like asbolute sh!t. Psycho nutjobs always have a history of relationships with that kind of guy...



Creating more drama and messing with your mind. The setup she is applying, is as follows: She gives you an inch of hope by saying she likes you. This is what will keep you from giving up and forgetting about her... At the same time, she has kinda dismissed you as a potential "lover", so you are left feeling confused. It's the start of the process of slowly fvcking up your mind...making you feel confused, making you doubt yourself...making you doubt whether you should kill off the positive feelings you had towards her because the two of you have no future, or whether you should let those feelings linger a bit more because there still might be a chance that the two of you get together after all....in other words, you don't know what to think and you don't know what to feel, it's the start of her mentally breaking you down...



Red flag. A woman having one or more abusive boyfriends is a strong sign that you're dealing with a Cluster B/BPD/psycho nutjob!
Furthermore, these women prey on guys exactly like you! The "nice guy", who wants to be there for his woman and treat her well.


Look, if this woman doesn't contact you anymore from here on, than you should forget about her anyway, right? She said that the two of you are not on the same page and that she doesn't want to lead you on. That's a clear rejection, an interested woman would not say that. So you have to see that for what it is and be done with it, unto the next woman!

However, I feel there's a pretty good chance that you WON'T leave it at that. I have a feeling that you will contact her nonetheless and will try to convince her that she should give you another try, blah blah.
And even if you don't decide to contact her, I feel there is a pretty good chance that she will contact YOU again and say some things that will give you hope that you might actually have a chance with her after all!

I even fear that one of these two things has happened already, since you wrote your last post...

In any case, I advice you to read up on BPD (Borderlne Personality Disorder), cluster B and all the sick behavior that certain women may display. Here are some search results for ya:

http://sosuave.net/forum/search.php?searchid=1758373
http://sosuave.net/forum/search.php?searchid=1758371
http://sosuave.net/forum/search.php?searchid=1758376

Or.....she might just be a stupid flower power, hippie, Greenpeace kind of girl who thinks it's wrong to earn lots of money and will condemn everyone who doesn't volunteer to go help starving children in Africa... In which case, you should NEXT her as well

Thanks for the insight. Neither has happened, once she texts me that last message, i simply replied with "Ok" I deleted her contact and her messages. Obviously i did or said something she didnt like so thats done with. I left out some other details, the night before were going to see each other on the first date she asked me if i was going to be out and i said yes but i was meeting with friends, she wouldnt leave it alone, kept messaging me that i would be so great if i came to see her at a bar and wanted to show me off to her friends and that she had been talking about me to all of them and her sister, i replied that i couldnt, i was out but with friends. She kept on and on texting me "are you close by this bar? i want to see you tonight" I kept replying i am with friends!. Finally she stopped. Again, i fuked up somewhere. The first night she invited me back to her place but i didnt go because i had to be at work for a meeting very early and i had to go home.

 

[In2theGame]

A 3rd grader called...they want their lack of paragraphs back.

I get it, i didn't properly use paragraphs. I wrote the post in a rush. Don't have to be a wise guy about it.

 

[floydb25]

Even beyond the details and dissecting - never believe or assume women want ANYTHING - because even they don't know what they really want. And there's too many **** possibilities to be covered. That's why you just focus on attracting them, and finding out what works insofar as interest level. Everything else is an over-analytical, mind-****ing waste of time (and potential resources). And all women are different.

Never go in with this mindset, or improve yourself in these ways - because you'll just end up confused and bewildered when you do all this ****, and become Hulkamania rich guy with a lambo - only to find them dumping you in favor of a scronny crackhead with no hair, and who lives in a storage.

****, I was once dumped for an average-looking redneck retard with greasy hair, no personality, and who smelled like dirty feet. And all the girls were like, "WTF?"

*****es are dumb. You'll never understand their "wants".

 

[Die Hard]

Okay, those details you just told, totally confirm that she's a nutjob. You were smart to remove her number from your phone. But that doesn't protect you from her contacting you, which she will probably do. Then she'll get you to meet up with her again and try to continue her mindgames.

You best be prepared, friendo... I can tell that you're not! Read up on the search results I posted before.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I get it, i didn't properly use paragraphs. I wrote the post in a rush. Don't have to be a wise guy about it.

You could always go back and edit it. A lot of people are going to pass your posts by. Why make people work hard to read your stuff? It shows a lack of respect for the reader.

 

[VladPatton]

For the past few years there has been a lot of people coming here to NY from many different places (ex. Williamsburg), and all I can say is that it takes more than 6 months to 'get' NY life . This chick is a loon, I don't think you did anything wrong.

These Lincoln Town Cars don't cost a lot of money, so I don't think you were trying to impress her. Not a great reason for her to be so 'taken back'. Plus, why drive when you are going to a bar? Who the hell knows what she is looking for. SHE probably doesn't know.

Sounds like a lot of drama, man. Hit the Next button on this one.

Good luck.

 

[Naughty Ninja]

I have been going out a lot and meeting hot girls here and there, never really wanting to date one much just F them. Recently i met a girl HB 7, she contacted me constantly, Texting me at will to the point i actually kind of got annoyed. We went on 1 date and everything seemed great, we had a good time and got some wine for us to drink and she kept grabbing on to my leg and me kissing her from time to time. Fast forward to date number 2 which was Friday night. We were having dinner in midtown, i show up in a nice Lincoln town car, the driver actually gets out and opens the door for me n sh*t like im a higher up baller, anyway,... i get in and give her a nice kiss on the lips... we sit and eat and once we start talking about money.. she kind of looks at me strange because i told her i am an ambitious man, i believe in creating wealth and not having to depend on a job or a boss to dictate my time and life.

She seems all into it but then comments that i am arrogant and from that point things start going downhill. We decide to go to a bar and i stop a cab,.. she wants to take the train and feels i am "wasting" money on cabs, Im thinking wtf... we get into the cab anyway... shes holding my hand but i kind of pull away and she grabs my hand with a stronger grip, so i went along with it. We get into the bar and i know the bouncers, so no wait on line, no Fee and no ID check... i let them know shes with me so its all good. we sit and grab drinks... then it continues on.. she grabs on to my leg, holding my hand also.. Im attracted to her so i want to kiss her, i lean in and we're kissing but she says she doesnt like showing too much public affection.. im like um... ok. Later she tells me her previous BF's and Fiance dumped her so i begin thinking how come. shes in her early 30's and tells me she just sits home on weekends watching movies. Things just died down and i felt she was kind of not into it anymore.

I offered to send her home in a cab but refuses and wants to take a train so i walk her to the train, she gives me a kiss on the lips before she goes. That was that. Now i actually liked her so i figured i would see her again to see where it goes but next day she texts me that we arent on the same page and liked me but doesnt want to lead me on. Now im wondering is it me thats too much into success, did i come off ****y arrogant or did she seem like a prude. Its just the way i am, I admit i do have an Ego and i always had one, in anything i do i want to win, i want to be successful and i will do what i have to do to get it done. I guess it wasnt meant to be and i was presenting myself as i am, especially as she told me that she has an abusive ex BF and im nothing like that, id take care of my woman and would want to share my success with her but maybe this was just a fluke. Any thoughts on what maybe went wrong?

From reading your post it sounds like she was doing the old push pull routine.

Coming on strong by texting a lot grabbing onto you, kissing you, then "pushing you away" by complaining about your "arrogance". I think your "arrogance" intimidated her and she is trying in her own way to get you to "prove" you really like her. You pull away, she grabs your hand tighter, you want to take a cab...she doesn't...she touches you..you kiss her...she claims she doesn't like too much public affection..(she's playing a push pull game)

You show up in a town car with the driver opening the door, know the bouncers at the place you went to, and she knows she's been coming on strong to you so she must assume in her mind other chicks are too. Since in your other post you never showed for her to show you off to her friends and sister previously. So she's again...trying to have you "prove" you like her without asking or telling you.

Then she runs the we aren't on the same page but I really like you line.

Dude. She's insecure and is looking for you to come after her. I'm not buying her nonsense.

IF you want. You can simply text her: "We'll I had a good time the other night even though I was disappointed in your arrogance."

You can try throwing her "arrogance" line back at her and come at her "on the same page" like you get her game..

She'll most likely respond that she "isn't" to which you respond: Well you live in NYC so people may think you're arrogant too. You looked hot last night so maybe some other people and myself included feel you are "arrogant".

You are basically mirroring her nonsense back at her and can slowly see if the both of you want to get "arrogant" and fvck each others brains out somewhere. (I personally if I saw her again would show up in a town car with a bottle of Grey Poupon to give her as an arrogance gift. lol)

Sh1t if I was out with a chick like that I'd laugh when she said arrogant and call her arrogant right back and build up sexual tension. (IE: You're the arrogant one with your sexy self.) and go for the lay then forget her nonsense.

You can try that. But I wouldn't get involved with the chick as she like others have said sounds like a manipulative, controlling, insecure cuckoo bird.( She's gotten dumped several times for a reason.)

Only try what I said if you want to bang her. If not forget trying to "prove" yourself to her.

I think if you don't bother with her she'll wind up contacting you regardless.