I thought if she likes you, you cannot do wrong?

espanish

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I am just reflecting on my past experiences, trying to learn from them.

4 years ago I met this milf. she was 15 years older than me. very attractive after a bunch of plastic surgery. But the surgeon had done a great job and I could not tell until I looked her up online and looked at her old pictures. on our first date I said I like her because she hasn't done any work done, and she confirmed that she hadn't done any work done. on her phone she showed me a bunch of pictures of women who have done plastic surgery, as evidence that she doesn't look like them, she looks natural. she also said she smokes weed every night. she had a perfect body, JLO body. Anyway, all of this is irrelevant I am just trying to give you a picture of what kind of person she was. she said she is looking for a gentleman and she likes me because I am a gentleman.

I could tell she liked me because on our first date because she dressed up very well (short dress, nice boots). she actually made me nervous because she made a comment that showed she intends this relationship to last a long time. I don't remember the comment, but it was like when she was hitting her glass against mine for cheers, she said "to our" something something.

we got out of the restaurant and made out. she said she likes me because I have innocent eyes. then we went to a bar nearby. We didn't drink anything alcoholic but she asked me for water and I got her a cup of water. so far so good.

but here is when things went south. I told her I am paranoid about STDs. she said she gets tested during her yearly checkup with her ob gyn. I said "your ob gyn is so lucky" she looked at me and said "so you're one of those guys" I saw the opportunity close right before my eyes. That was it. she asked me to call and uber and take her home. one sentence ruined my opportunity to get laid with a hot milf (not that I care because I don't like girls who do plastic surgery, and I don't like deception).

What's the problem? is it the paranoia about STDs that turned her off? or the "lucky" comment? or she was just a nut job and I had no chance to begin with?
 

Mike32ct

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If she likes you, she will typically cut you more slack. But there are still limits to her patience.

“H” read my mind. The obgyn comment came across as creepy or perverted.

Once you’ve been dating a while, you might be able to get away with some raunchy humor. But on a first date, it’s creepy af.
 

devilkingx2

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but here is when things went south. I told her I am paranoid about STDs. she said she gets tested during her yearly checkup with her ob gyn. I said "your ob gyn is so lucky" she looked at me and said "so you're one of those guys" I saw the opportunity close right before my eyes.
So here's your issue:

1. You went from talking about STDs (serious, gross) to flirting (sexy, fun). That's like talking about rats eating garbage over dinner. Don't mix the two.

2. Perspectives, an OBGYN is a doctor visit for a woman, it's neither fun nor sexy for her nor a legitimate doctor. It's like going to the dentist for her, have you ever had fun at the dentist?

3. The comment may have come off as an immature way of viewing things, thinking that a doctor gets to look at vaginas all day is a teenager view. As an adult you realize that people only go to the doctor when they're sick...

Anyway she could've felt like a pedo or that you were too childish/immature for her.

What's the problem? is it the paranoia about STDs that turned her off? or the "lucky" comment? or she was just a nut job and I had no chance to begin with?
She could've also taken offense to you thinking she might have STDs yes. It's a reasonable fear if you didn't go overboard but it might come off wrong.

I think that if you were only one comment away from ruining things, you most likely were nowhere near as close to getting laid as it seems. So just learn from your potential 2 mistakes here and do better with the next ones.
 

Velasco

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"he is so lucky" = lack of entitlement. Implying your Lower value than her on the SMV. Girls wanna fvck those who they perceive to be above them on the SMV. If you legit thought you were above this chick who is 15 years older than you (entitled to her) you wouldn't have uttered that sentence.
 

Barrister

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I am just reflecting on my past experiences, trying to learn from them.

4 years ago I met this milf. she was 15 years older than me. very attractive after a bunch of plastic surgery. But the surgeon had done a great job and I could not tell until I looked her up online and looked at her old pictures. on our first date I said I like her because she hasn't done any work done, and she confirmed that she hadn't done any work done. on her phone she showed me a bunch of pictures of women who have done plastic surgery, as evidence that she doesn't look like them, she looks natural. she also said she smokes weed every night. she had a perfect body, JLO body. Anyway, all of this is irrelevant I am just trying to give you a picture of what kind of person she was. she said she is looking for a gentleman and she likes me because I am a gentleman.

I could tell she liked me because on our first date because she dressed up very well (short dress, nice boots). she actually made me nervous because she made a comment that showed she intends this relationship to last a long time. I don't remember the comment, but it was like when she was hitting her glass against mine for cheers, she said "to our" something something.

we got out of the restaurant and made out. she said she likes me because I have innocent eyes. then we went to a bar nearby. We didn't drink anything alcoholic but she asked me for water and I got her a cup of water. so far so good.

but here is when things went south. I told her I am paranoid about STDs. she said she gets tested during her yearly checkup with her ob gyn. I said "your ob gyn is so lucky" she looked at me and said "so you're one of those guys" I saw the opportunity close right before my eyes. That was it. she asked me to call and uber and take her home. one sentence ruined my opportunity to get laid with a hot milf (not that I care because I don't like girls who do plastic surgery, and I don't like deception).

What's the problem? is it the paranoia about STDs that turned her off? or the "lucky" comment? or she was just a nut job and I had no chance to begin with?
Sometimes I am amazed at what guys ask on here. Come on man - why would you say her OBGYN is "lucky"? That is downright bizarre (what women would classify as "creepy") and probably gave her really weird vibes from you - to the point she isn't going to jump into bed right after that. Yes, this was a problem for you on this date.

The paranoia about STDs is much more minor. Not sure I would have couched it the way you did since it came off a little weak - but it was definitely the previous comment that sunk you.
 

devilkingx2

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[...]
1. she said she is looking for a gentleman and she likes me because I am a gentleman.

2. I could tell she liked me because on our first date because she dressed up very well (short dress, nice boots). she actually made me nervous because she made a comment that showed she intends this relationship to last a long time. I don't remember the comment, but it was like when she was hitting her glass against mine for cheers, she said "to our" something something.


3. we got out of the restaurant and made out. she said she likes me because I have innocent eyes.
[...]
More thoughts:

#1 I'd probably take that part as a red flag, but I might be overthinking. Considering how things ended maybe her idea of a gentleman is a man who doesn't care about sex until she allows him to have it.

#2 her dressing up and talking like that is a good sign for sure as is the making out, take all that as a win. However there's also a lesson on not taking women too seriously here since she did a 180 so fast and easy.

#3 that seems like a creepy comment from her, like she's hunting prey (but the whole cougar thing can be pretty hot too), supports my theory that maybe she felt guilty when you acted immature.
 

DonJuanjr

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#3 that seems like a creepy comment from her, like she's hunting prey
That's what I was thinking when I read it... More like she's trying to find a naive guy to settle with. One who might not see the red flags that she waves.
 

Stuffnu

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Just wow…Some of you are truly lost.
Perhaps offer to hold her hand during her next Paps Smear.
 

BackInTheGame78

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If you don't know what's wrong with what you said then you are probably hopeless. Anyone with an ounce of social sense would know what the issue was with it.
 

espanish

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I think that if you were only one comment away from ruining things, you most likely were nowhere near as close to getting laid as it seems. So just learn from your potential 2 mistakes here and do better with the next ones.
I was very close. I just remembered she said she has a roommate and we cannot do it at her place, without me initiating anything.
 

Velasco

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Don't get it. Rather than help the dude see what he did wrong so he learns from it, y'all resort to insults. This kinda behavior discourages other less socially savvy members from posting about questions they may have. Least we went this far without useless- commentator27's, "you never had her to begin with" "she was low interest." Dude basically said, "wow that dude is so LUCKY that he gets to SEE your pvssy once every 365 days." Acting like he's never seen a pvssy before.
 

DonJuanjr

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Don't get it. Rather than help the dude see what he did wrong so he learns from it, y'all resort to insults.
I think a lot of guys that come on this site have this complex where they want to be a part of some secret society of players, and look down on all those that aren't slaying. Hank Moody was a prime example of this.
 

derby1

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she also said she smokes weed every night.
Low hanging fruit, sick of being smashed by felons with big penises.

she actually made me nervous because she made a comment that showed she intends this relationship to last a long time. I don't remember the comment, but it was like when she was hitting her glass against mine for cheers, she said "to our" something something.
All women chat the same nonsense to make you feel wanted. sooth your ego, for a dopamine hit, so you chase her. Never let high interest faze you again, its a massive red flag. I have never had early high interest turn out good, the mediocre interest have always been the best women.

but here is when things went south.
yep you went full on beta retard with convos about STD's , politics, religion etc etc. Nothing fun about you cowboy, (in her mind)
 

zekko

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4 years ago I met this milf. she was 15 years older than me.
I don't think the "if she likes you, you can do no wrong" concept applies if she is 15 years older than you. For that to apply, the woman needs to look up to you, which probably isn't going to happen with a woman with 15 years more life experience than you - even if you do outrank her on the SMV scale.
 

Velasco

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For that to apply, the woman needs to look up to you, which probably isn't going to happen with a woman with 15 years more life experience than you - even if you do outrank her on the SMV scale.
No. Even if she has more life experience than you, you can still demonstrate things about you that show you are above her on the SMV scale.

Looks are a guestimation of where others rank on the SMV scale relative to them. On a night out, a lotta chicks ain't gonna take the time to give you a shot to show her you really ARE above her SMV (or they would have, were they available that night). She'll only give a shot to those who she already perceives to be above her.
This chick gave him a shot because she perceived he might be but he ended up proving her wrong. Dry vagina.

Here are some things you can demonstrate that shows you ARE in fact above her on the SMV scale that have nothing to do with who has more life experience. You are:

-More popular (perception)/charming than her.
-More (or about the same level) of sexual experience than her.
-Funnier than her (which in my opinion is easy because it's my natural strength and girls just aren't funny in general).
-Braver than her (stories/bold moves in person).
 
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