I think this girl is playing games

[lifemisspent]

Ok, so about 6 weeks ago I walk into the vet with my dog. The vet that comes to greet us is this cute mid thirty's girl next door type.
A few days after my appointment I email her , thanking her for her time and asking her out for a drink. She emails me back telling me that she is very flattered but she is currently seeing someone. I answer back no problem, but if you change your mind let me know.

Anyways a few days later I get a very random email from her asking me how my dogs Max is doing, I respond fine, comment on his condition , throw in a little small talk whatever..........I only hear back from her about a week later and I don't respond back. Then a couple days ago out of the clear blue I get this email from her.

How is Max, did he go back to the South shore for an other injection? Is his paw still OK?

> > > About going out for a coffee, a movie or..a beer?...are you still interested?

> > > I lived with someone for 10 years, we were married for 9 years. Things didn't work out and we have been divorced for almost two years now. It was quite heartbreaking since we had a 3 years old son at the time and when we decided to have a baby, splitting 3 years later wasn't part of the plan...I started to date somebody about a year ago but getting to know each other more, we were not sure if we have enough in common to pursue the relationship so we are taking a "break" for a while, it's not clear to me at this point if we will start dating again or not...

> > > So, I am a divorced single mother who has full custody of her almost 5 years old son (his father takes him one week-end out of two). I didn't get back to you before because I'm not sure that "the timing is good" for me to meet somebody, but since I still think about your invitation, if you are still interested after reeding this email, let me know.

> > > Take Care.


> > > Melanie


Then I write back
His paw has healed “perfectly” according to Dr
> > xxx, he walks fine and has no visible symptoms of his condition which I guess is also great news.

> > Ok, so am I still interested in going out sometime lol? Hmmmmmmmmmmm, Let me think about it……………….…………………….ok sure, why not (-:


> > > The next few days are a little tricky for me, but Sunday evening I’m around if you don’t have plans, perhaps we could do something then ?

Then she writes back one day later:

It's great that Max is well and he is almost done with his treatment, I'm sure it will be a relief for you (and him!).

> So, I didn't scare you off...ah ah...I read again the email I sent you after reeding your reply, I don't know if it was too much informations but, I'm a direct person and I prefer when things are clear.

> I don't think I'll be available for Sunday evening. For next week, is there a night that would be better for you?

> It's Friday! Have a good week-end.

> Melanie

Now this is where I started getting some weird vibes, I write her back this :

Hi Mel,

> Well ok, you have scared me off, but only a tiny little bit (-: I guess I can be extra brave and go ahead with our plans, but be gentle with me, ok ? …………haha

> Monday and Tuesday of next week are the days that are not good for me, but after that it’s pretty wide open, even the next weekend if that’s easier………….I’m not sure what your schedule is like

> but you are the one with the young child so Ill let you decide on the day.

> I thought this weekend would never get here, I had a real crazy week, man oh man!!

This was on Saturday,

I just now here back from her

Hi back!

I do think that you are pretty brave...

On my side it looks like it's this week that is going to be pretty crazy and it turned out that I'll be out of town next week-end. If it's still OK for you I'll get back to you after that.

Take Care,

Mel

So what should I now say, anything ? Should I take as long to get back to her as she did for me ? ( 4days )

Or is everything going good and Im just overthinking it.

Thanks

 

[slaog]

Shes spinning a few plates at the moment thats why she hasn't time I reckon. At least she was upfront about her current situation.


The interest isn't exactly very high at the moment either but its early days yet. Take your time replying.. maybe wait a few days and tell her to enjoy her weekend, or try to!

 

[catman]

This ones yanking your chain brother let it go no sense in playing the run around game. People will find time for you if there interested even if they have kids.Excusess are like well you know? Be cool to date a vet though i love animals expecially cats!!!!

 

[lifemisspent]

So why did she send me the email asking me if I would like to go out if she was not interested ?

I told her I was busy for a few nights, but Im interested, I really was busy.

On Friday maybe I should send her a have a fun weekend message ?

 

[DJDamage]

So why did she send me the email asking me if I would like to go out if she was not interested ?

She likes the attention.

Your not helping your cause when you cowardly asked her out on an email (instead of striking it out when you first met her in person) as well as not asking her number and continuing to play her game by emaiingl back and fourth. Hidding behind those buffers you created is a waste of time and the longer you keep up with this charade the less likely something will develop if at all.

By the way, I don't know how her email did not scare you because it was scary. You asked her out and instead she tells you her life story with all the baggage involved in the last 10 years. If that's not a huge red flag I don't know what is.

 

[catman]

She likes the attention.

Your not helping your cause when you cowardly asked her out on an email (instead of striking it out when you first met her in person) as well as not asking her number and continuing to play her game by emaiingl back and fourth. Hidding behind those buffers you created is a waste of time and the longer you keep up with this charade the less likely something will develop if at all.

By the way, I don't know how her email did not scare you because it was scary. You asked her out and instead she tells you her life story with all the baggage involved in the last 10 years. If that's not a huge red flag I don't know what is.

Actually i have dated several women who told me straight up about their kids.Alot of men dont want to date women with small children is what their reasoning was which is very true. Your going to find out eventually so thats why they told me this before it went any further.When i meet women who im interested in dateing i tell them i have a 15 yo daughter that lives with me every other week.Same thing my kids just older is the only difference.Kids take up alot of your time but if you really want to see someone you will make the time. She might come around just wait and see i guess??? You cant hurry love or women or you will spook them and they run.Actually women are alot like cats they only want you to pet them when they want to be petted!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Getting her email was a weak approach. You should have gotten her number and made firm plans on the phone. You need to forget about this one. She's already blown you off twice.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

So why did she send me the email asking me if I would like to go out if she was not interested ?

I told her I was busy for a few nights, but Im interested, I really was busy.

On Friday maybe I should send her a have a fun weekend message ?

One of the bad things is that you told her that you're completely open for dating wed-sun (this guy has nothing at all to do on the weekends?!?!) this week and that she gets to decide when. You're trying too hard to fit into her life & are handing her all the power for choices.

From her viewpoint, you're in "i'll do what you want to get together with you" mode and she's starting to back off. You need to shake that feeling in her before it sets in too much. She's still emailing you so all is not lost yet.

Back off for a bit and think about how you're coming across to her and stop doing that sort of thing. She should be chasing you, not vice versa.

 

[dj_china]

just wait for her to contact you when she's back. if her IL is there she will, otherwise she won't and you won't waste any time

 

[lifemisspent]

Her email did scare me of course, Im just looking to get laid, not married so Ive course Im not gonna tell her I got scared.

It was impossible to ask her out in person, we are in the examining room when my dog is in pain and I go yeah by the way you want to go out some time ?

What should I do going forward if her interest level is kind of low ? How do I get it high again w/o seeming anxious.

Thx

 

[YogurtSlinger]

I say quit being such a girl and call her. Email is so impersonal, IMO it's a serious b!tch move.

I just read your last post, too. If that's all you are looking for, then you are a first class peckerhead. This chick is more mature and at a different place in her life than you obviously. If she gives you the time of day again, she will have a lot more invested in a relationship (at least that's what she thinks it will be) than you will and for you to treat her like a piece of a$$ is wrong. I am sure that a POS like you won't mind leading this girl on just to hit it a couple times, though, so I'll get off my soapbox.

 

[tafakna]

How do I get it high again w/o seeming anxious.

Easy (but hard to do): Learn not be anxious.

But seriously, the 'tatics' you find on this forum are all about self-improvent and real change. There's no miracle tip such as disappearing for a few days, waiting to reply her messages, or sending a fun weekend message.

You have to be willing to change and not be anxious. Talk to many different women, try to set-up other dates.

It's much easier to not be anxious when you really have a your schedule full, and when while you're waiting you're having fun, than hanging around waiting for her to finally agree on a date.

 

[Joe Stud]

She sounds cool, and it was you who put things off at first (she can say the same thing about you- why you were sooo busy at first, you should MAKE time). Bottom line; you like her, shes interested in you, call her (no fear of rejection) & close on a date... soon. Then charm the heck out of her. Life with an attractive wife that makes big money is not bad. "Theres gold in them there hills boy"

 

[giorgio]

She likes the attention.

Your not helping your cause when you cowardly asked her out on an email (instead of striking it out when you first met her in person) as well as not asking her number and continuing to play her game by emaiingl back and fourth. Hidding behind those buffers you created is a waste of time and the longer you keep up with this charade the less likely something will develop if at all.

By the way, I don't know how her email did not scare you because it was scary. You asked her out and instead she tells you her life story with all the baggage involved in the last 10 years. If that's not a huge red flag I don't know what is.

It seems there are tons of these attention wh0res around. How does one treat them and how does one figure out if shes genuinely interested? Also, do you guys really go along with the 2 strike rule?

 

[DonJuan11]

Now this is where I started getting some weird vibes, I write her back this :

Hi Mel,
> Well ok, you have scared me off, but only a tiny little bit (-: I guess I can be extra brave and go ahead with our plans, but be gentle with me, ok ? …………haha

> Monday and Tuesday of next week are the days that are not good for me, but after that it’s pretty wide open, even the next weekend if that’s easier………….I’m not sure what your schedule is like

> but you are the one with the young child so Ill let you decide on the day.

> I thought this weekend would never get here, I had a real crazy week, man oh man!!

This was on Saturday,

I just now here back from her

Hi back!

I do think that you are pretty brave...

On my side it looks like it's this week that is going to be pretty crazy and it turned out that I'll be out of town next week-end. If it's still OK for you I'll get back to you after that.

Take Care,

Mel

So what should I now say, anything ? Should I take as long to get back to her as she did for me ? ( 4days )

Or is everything going good and Im just overthinking it.

Thanks

Way way too ambiguous dude. 17 emails back and forth trying to figure out when is a good time to meet for "coffee"? Is this a meeting of the G-8 leaders or a simple get together?

You have to lock it and close the deal ASAP. "How about we meet Tuesday at 5:30 at the coffee shop next door? They have best Columbian coffee I know." If she can't do it, she has to reschedule with time that works for her. If she can't do it again, she's BLOCKED.

 

[lifemisspent]

You are right donjuan

Believe me, I realized that after, I should have chosen a time and place in the evening but I didnt want to do that because she has a young child so I thought I would leave it up to her and I though she would appreciate that.

So again, what do I do NOW ? When I email her in a few days should I book something for next week ? IMHO that looks too anxious.

 

[Joe Stud]

Email her now... "Sweetie, I am not used to going back & forth to make these little decisions. How bout you give me 2 dates/times you are free (afternoon or evening), and I will pick one. We will close the deal, and then go out and have some fun. Sounds like you can use a bit of fun, and so can I". Then dress well, smell good, etc... and take her to some type of action date, and then follow it with dinner or lunch. Close the deal!