I think my personality is killing me?

[cootcat1986]

This is how I come of as:

To the guys:
I look and act like a guy that is ****y with a very moody attitude. Everyone thinks that I am allways looking for a fight or going to talk crap to someone at the next party. Everyone thinks that I get pist of very easily when things really dont bother me.

I have tried to change the way I portray myself to not seem mad even though I am really not mad but I allways seem to come of this way and I dont understand why. I can understand ****y but why everyone thinks I get pist all the time I dont no.

I want to be a guy everyone sees as fun not pist of moody. It just really gets me because I am never really pist off they just think I am and if I try to say I am not pist they think I am even more pist which is actaully funny to me now that I am thinking about this right now.

To the women:
They think that I am allways tryin to hit on the drunkest gurl. I think I come of to agressive and that why they think that. Sometimes I just try to have a good time and talk to someone and they think I am spitting game to try to get into their pants.

I feel like everyone just reads me wrong but everyone is reading me the same way so I guess that I am really reading myself wrong but I dont understand how that is possible

I am looking for any feedback from someone that understands where I am coming from or anyone that can just help me out.

thanks

 

[cyp6]

try smiling more... and make obviously sarcastic self daming jokes....

 

[Ripper]

Dude, I've had this problem before and according to a close female friend, it was because I was coming off as unnatural in my behaviour. Too aggressive with both guys and girls. Think relaxed confidence.

 

[t00dumb]

the first time you meet a person, ur first impression will be their last thought. if you're really a great guy inside let them know! show them a good time without being an ass in case u are. try getting along not for their sakes but for you to establish a good presence around them. people tend to stray away from negative people. if u don't act negative but kinda look like one. then maybe u should change something about the way you look. if you're loud and obnoxious, people will definitely notice. basically people have to know that ur harmless and friendly and after that they'll warm up to ur hostile personality everyone being saying lol.

u look new so read up on the dj bible. good luck bro

 

[squirrels]

This is the tips forum. You want DJ Discussion.

Smiling can be the difference between "mean" and "fun", believe it or not. I'm a tall guy so lots of people read me as standoffish unless I smile.

 

[Doggystyle]

Its probably comes across in your voice tone too, try working on a friendlier more relaxed voice

 

[cootcat1986]

Hey thanks for the advice so far

I think it is my tone of voice I will try to work on that.

Now for smiling I allways try to smile and people say I have a devious smirk on my face like I am up to something. Few people have said that I am allways smiling but very few, most people say something about my smirk. I usally have what I think a smile is then when someone says something to me and my smile goes away they think that I am upset.

using my ****iness to my advantage i do sometimes. I do flirt and have fun that way but sometimes I think I jump the border without realizing it and then just become a jerk instead of ****y and funny. or maybe like you said I use it all the time (because I use it alot and I think thats why girls think that I am agressive in my flirting)

Thanks so far maybe by telling you more about me you guys can give me some extra advice.
I really appreciate this.

 

[ChrizZ]

using my ****iness to my advantage i do sometimes. I do flirt and have fun that way but sometimes I think I jump the border without realizing it and then just become a jerk instead of ****y and funny

That´s what I do. I gotta work on that. The people in my class think I´m a ****y a$$ although I always make them laugh. They hate me. I just can´t find a balance between being nice and ****y. I don´t wanna be boring though...
Any ideas on how to change that?

 

[Quiksilver]

Stop being a drama queen. Focus on yourself.

Start doing your own thing and keep your sarcasm to yourself most of the time. I have a friend just like you. He's not an angry person, but he's always...and I mean ALWAYS sarcastic, sardonic, witty, and ****y. He comes off as angry because he's always making jokes and exploiting negative things. He's the type of guy who will never be a leader, and will always be ready to verbally trip somebody who is trying to be successful at something.

If you are like this guy, then my advice is to drop the sarcasm and "responsive humour"--you need somebody else to take the lead so you can mock their mistakes--a notch and start expressing yourself more positively. Alot of people use sarcasm to express their happiness; they come off as jaded and cynical which is synonymous with being an angry person.

P.S. I ****ing hate this type of person, but this is my advice.

P.S.S. **** you!

 

[ChrizZ]

Stop being a drama queen. Focus on yourself.

Start doing your own thing and keep your sarcasm to yourself most of the time. I have a friend just like you. He's not an angry person, but he's always...and I mean ALWAYS sarcastic, sardonic, witty, and ****y. He comes off as angry because he's always making jokes and exploiting negative things. He's the type of guy who will never be a leader, and will always be ready to verbally trip somebody who is trying to be successful at something.

If you are like this guy, then my advice is to drop the sarcasm and "responsive humour"--you need somebody else to take the lead so you can mock their mistakes--a notch and start expressing yourself more positively. Alot of people use sarcasm to express their happiness; they come off as jaded and cynical which is synonymous with being an angry person.

P.S. I ****ing hate this type of person, but this is my advice.

P.S.S. **** you!

Will do!
PS: **** you too

 

[ImpatientFire]

I've had the same problem to. Just smile more often with girls as well as guys. Don't worry about looking "gay" just relax and have fun. I found out that the more guy friends I make the more girlfriends I seem to get.