I think my girlfriend is losing interest

[blueline]

I've been dating this 24 y/o girl since last November, and initially, things were really hot and intense. The sex we had was so crazy; she'd scream and moan and we could screw several times a day without getting bored. I know this is the kind of behavior that kills relationships, but she basically moved in as soon as we started having sex. How do I excuse this? Well, the area we live in is boring as can be (the middle of nowhere in central PA) and neither of us know many people.

Anyway, lately the sex has gone downhill. Last March, she contracted a yeast infection from me (I had sex with too many hippie sluts before I met her). Her yeast infection was successfully treated relatively quickly (sometime around mid-April) after she took some oral antifungal medication. We didn't really start having regular sex again until this week when my infection entirely disappeared due to consistent treatment with antifungals.

The sex has been about as boring as can be and she can't really get into it because she complains of pain as soon as I start really putting it deeply in her. Even after I play with her tits for a while, her nipples don't get hard like they used to. She still gets wet from manual/oral sex and we do plenty of that before I start fucking her. However, the crazy moans and screams simply aren't there anymore, and for some reason, I don't think this is due to my technique or my size. My penis is so girthy that it is impossible to slide a regular sized condom onto it and I will typically spend a good 15-30 minutes doing foreplay with her before any sex occurs.

She wants me to get an apartment with her, but man, when a person isn't sexually fulfilled by their partner, they start to look at other people. Given my past experiences with what sexual satisfaction looks like in relationships, my logic is telling me to dump her. I've screwed up by letting her get to know me too well by basically letting her live with me way too soon.

The only hope for this relationship seems to be that I'll be starting a life-consuming internship on Monday (I'm a graduate student) and my time with her will abruptly become scarce. Should I just dump her now because of how terrible the sex has become? In my past experiences, once you get the technique down, good sex is mostly a result of what happens outside of the bedroom (e.g., not being overly attentive and maintaining dominance in the relationship as a consequence), so I feel kind of hopeless regarding any quick fixes. The only thing that can possibly save this is my new job consuming most of my time.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Acidophilus will prevent further yeast infections; so will eating yoghurt.

She's on birth control, right? Maybe it needs to be changed to a different type. I think my current gf had the same issue with her ex-husband and had to change from the pill to the nuva ring, which solved the physical problem.

 

[nismo-4]

Judge nismo on the case.

I've been dating this 24 y/o girl since last November, and initially, things were really hot and intense. The sex we had was so crazy; she'd scream and moan and we could screw several times a day without getting bored. I know this is the kind of behavior that kills relationships, but she basically moved in as soon as we started having sex. How do I excuse this? Well, the area we live in is boring as can be (the middle of nowhere in central PA) and neither of us know many people.

Being in a boring city can affect a relationship too. You obviously aren't in State College.

Anyway, lately the sex has gone downhill. Last March, she contracted a yeast infection from me (I had sex with too many hippie sluts before I met her). Her yeast infection was successfully treated relatively quickly (sometime around mid-April) after she took some oral antifungal medication. We didn't really start having regular sex again until this week when my infection entirely disappeared due to consistent treatment with antifungals.

Damn.

The sex has been about as boring as can be and she can't really get into it because she complains of pain as soon as I start really putting it deeply in her. Even after I play with her tits for a while, her nipples don't get hard like they used to. She still gets wet from manual/oral sex and we do plenty of that before I start fucking her. However, the crazy moans and screams simply aren't there anymore, and for some reason, I don't think this is due to my technique or my size. My penis is so girthy that it is impossible to slide a regular sized condom onto it and I will typically spend a good 15-30 minutes doing foreplay with her before any sex occurs.

I can only use Magnum condoms. It kind of seems like she's hot for someone else.

She wants me to get an apartment with her, but man, when a person isn't sexually fulfilled by their partner, they start to look at other people. Given my past experiences with what sexual satisfaction looks like in relationships, my logic is telling me to dump her. I've screwed up by letting her get to know me too well by basically letting her live with me way too soon.

Pretty much.

The only hope for this relationship seems to be that I'll be starting a life-consuming internship on Monday (I'm a graduate student) and my time with her will abruptly become scarce. Should I just dump her now because of how terrible the sex has become? In my past experiences, once you get the technique down, good sex is mostly a result of what happens outside of the bedroom (e.g., not being overly attentive and maintaining dominance in the relationship as a consequence), so I feel kind of hopeless regarding any quick fixes. The only thing that can possibly save this is my new job consuming most of my time.

If she understands, she'll still be yours, but you need to spin more plates. Just in case she goes AWOL.

Read bet-Wow. All I can say is that you should talk to more women. And you should be doing so anyway. And always. That's the best thing that is for you.

If you think she's losing interest and seeing someone else, she usually is.

Update me.

 

[blueline]

Judge nismo on the case.



Read bet-Wow. All I can say is that you should talk to more women. And you should be doing so anyway. And always. That's the best thing that is for you.

If you think she's losing interest and seeing someone else, she usually is.

Update me.

She isn't seeing anybody else at all. She's around me almost 24/7 because A.) we're both in the same graduate program, B.) We're both unemployed because our regular graduate assistant jobs are not offered during the summer (well, at least she is; I'm employed starting Monday!), and C.) She's shy and awkward to a clinical level that might as well be Asperger's. In fact, she's so shy and awkward that I felt like I was penetrating a virgin the first time I ****ed her because she was so tight, hairy, and she bled everywhere. I'm almost convinced there was a year in between her first boyfriend and I, which is absolutely ridiculous given that she is a sexy girl around 110lbs with a fantastic body. Her friends all tell me that she is entirely oblivious to men flirting with her, and this is something I believe because I experienced it firsthand. For two months, she never gave me any indication that she wanted anything to do with me sexually until she was basically sitting in my lap. The girl is socially oblivious.

But yeah, man, whenever we're out around people she is familiar with, I see her more or less goading these average to semi-attractive to really attractive "friends" into flirting with her. She's always been like that and maybe it's because she was never really attracted to me to begin with, but given the crazy sex we were having until last March, she was definitely attracted to me. All women everywhere and anywhere are always shopping.

A couple days ago, I gave her an ultimatum that if she doesn't fix her vaginismus (bleh, it's the clinical term for painful penetration), I'm not signing the papers to get an apartment with her. She hasn't started doing the kegel exercises to fix it. Regardless, that isn't going to fix the lack of hard nipples that really indicate arousal. It's gotten to the point where I don't even want to have sex with her anymore, it's ****ing embarrassing that I can't make my own girlfriend aroused enough to have non-painful sex. She'll even try to initiate daily, but the last couple times she's tried, I just made an excuse not to do it.

It's too bad. We have a really pleasant relationship, she's basically one of my closest friends and I definitely love her. I've met her family, she's met mine, people ask us when we're gonna have kids, and the only thing in the way of us getting apartment together is my signature. Due to her undiagnosed Asperger's (her brother was diagnosed with it by a clinical psychologist and it is indeed a genetic disorder), she will lack the social network to really cope with being dumped. The last time she was dumped, she ran 4 miles into a forest in the black of night and was trapped in a ditch for hours until a search party found her. I've seen the sexual interest get this low before and it was with a girl with similar mental pathology

Bible, she's not on BC. We use condoms and that's it.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Bible, she's not on BC. We use condoms and that's it.

I still think it's physiological more than psychological. You might consider putting her on the pill or the nuva ring. Birth control often has beneficial effects beyond contraception.

 

[betheman]

"The girl is socially oblivious....

But yeah, man, whenever we're out around people she is familiar with, I see her more or less goading these average to semi-attractive to really attractive "friends" into flirting with her. She's always been like that

she isnt socially oblivious at all, she knows how to work it, women are masters at deceiving, personally I think there is something off and it isnt just her pu$$y!


"All women everywhere and anywhere are always shopping."

you said it!

 

[Desdinova]

I find one of the largest problems with men is they make sex their weakness. In order to gain the upper hand in the bedroom, you CANNOT have sex be your weakness. Sometimes you need to turn her down. Sometimes you need to stop in the middle with an excuse (leg cramp, exhausted, tired, etc). When you gain the upper hand in the bedroom, it's the woman who makes sex her weakness. When this occurs, you don't have to worry about a lack of sex because 1) it's not your weakness and 2) she's willing to spread her legs anytime you want.

My advice? Pull the fvck back. Take a few days and don't initiate anything. Don't touch her. Don't kiss her. Don't initiate sex. When she starts to wonder why you're not paying attention to her, drag her by the panties into the bedroom and fvck her senseless.