"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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I Think It's Time for an Ultimatum

Leporello

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Been seeing this girl for a couple of months...she's both sentimental and prudish, which is a deadly combination. And she just won't give it up! She doesn't seem upset when i try to escalate but she always pushes me away before things get too far.

Yeah I know traditional Vietnamese culture, but I've already wasted way to much time on her. So the next time i think i'll have to demand: give it up or give me up.

Advice?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Rata Blanca

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Nah, keep seeing her, but dates other girls as well.
 

The Inside Man

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Ultimatums are only issued from a powerless position, otherwise one would not feel the need to issue one. In my experience they have never worked, and I would not advise it for this situation.

Put her on the back burner, don't see her for a while or call more than once every week or two, and start looking for other prospects. I don't think you need to entirely next her, but def. start directing your attention to other girls and opportunities.

My first girlfriend was vietnamese so I know what you are talking about. Maybe the fact that you are trying so hard to escalate and not just have fun and go with the flow is part of the problem.
 

Leporello

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Rata Blanca said:
Nah, keep seeing her, but dates other girls as well.
I am.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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WC2

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The Inside Man said:
Ultimatums are only issued from a powerless position, otherwise one would not feel the need to issue one. In my experience they have never worked, and I would not advise it for this situation.

Put her on the back burner, don't see her for a while or call more than once every week or two, and start looking for other prospects. I don't think you need to entirely next her, but def. start directing your attention to other girls and opportunities.

My first girlfriend was vietnamese so I know what you are talking about. Maybe the fact that you are trying so hard to escalate and not just have fun and go with the flow is part of the problem.
Wise words
 

sexy_kuta

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Leporello said:
Been seeing this girl for a couple of months...she's both sentimental and prudish, which is a deadly combination. And she just won't give it up! She doesn't seem upset when i try to escalate but she always pushes me away before things get too far.

Yeah I know traditional Vietnamese culture, but I've already wasted way to much time on her. So the next time i think i'll have to demand: give it up or give me up.

Advice?
dont, it you're showing a sign of weakness.
obviously shes not ready but is into you, give her time, not everybody gets comfortable at the same rate. for you, id suggest spin more plates. but work on this one on the side, dont react or become upset if she doing give u any *****.

spin more plates, and showing an ultimatum for this kind of situation would make u look major weak. never show emotions.
 

Daniel1099

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if she was turned by your every move. she would give in...

you need to know how to touch another women.

how to talk to her that gets her juices flowin.

i dont know her. so i cant tell you. but keep it sexual...at the right time...

mainly when ur making out...move to the ass...then if u can reach farther down...then back up and to the front to her whispering eye haha...blah blah blah....

you got it
 

The Bad Ass Canadian

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What do you want with this chick?

are you into her? Do you just want to get into her pants?

If it's the former, then just hang in there and keep doing what you're doing. How old are you? If you're only 16-17 or younger then it'd be pretty normal to see a girl wait for 3-4 months or more before giving it up. The amount of time a girl waits before giving it up is pretty much directly proportional to the amount of sex she's had.

If you're just in it for the ass, then do yourself and her a favor and move on.

ultimatums are never necessary. When it comes to that point, it means one person isn't holding up to their end of the deal and it's a matter of reconsideration on the other person's part.

If you dig her, stay with her..... if it's just physical move on and find an easier chick.
 

magickarl

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I wouldn't go as far to say ultimatums come from a powerless position. While anyone can issue an ultimatum, you should not realistically expect it to work unless you are coming from a position of power.

For example, your boss saying "You will not make anymore personal calls on the company phone, or you are fired"

I would say that your boss comes from a much more powerful position than you do in that situation, and chances are you are going to listen to him.

Oh by the way, that refers to ultimatums outside of relationships.

In relationships, ultimatums should ALMOST NEVER be given. The fact is people don't like ultimatums, and you are effectively putting that person in a child's place when you give them one. You know how you hate it when someone treats you like a kid? Yeah. Other people don't like that either.

Especially when it comes to the topic of sex. I promise you that if you tell this woman "have sex with me, or were through", you are not getting sex. An ultimatum like that would only work on a woman with low self esteem, and I'm guessing this woman considers her body her temple.

There is a place for ultimatums in relationships, but only if the relationship is worth saving such as in a situation where you have children, and other than the problem are still very much in to eachother. (Say you give your spouse an ultimatum to stop drinking if he/she has a drinking problem, or see a counselor if he/she has an anger problem) But in the context of single life, and especially if the ultimatum is over sex, and even more if the problem with the sex is that there is none an ultimatum is not appropriate in this situation.

My answer: No ultimatum. See other women, and wait it out to see what happens, or next her.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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